How "blokey" are you?

[Stay Positive]

I have to say, I'm really not that "Blokey" at all. Answer the following questions as a yardstick of your blokiness (I've put my answers in bold)

1) How interested are you in cars? Not even remotely, except to make sure that my own Astra runs ok.

2) Are you a big drinker? Nope. Three pints of lager and I'm drunk.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I was utterly useless. I had more chance of pulling at a library than a nightclub.

5) Do you eat meat? No.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. Every single time.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No, and I can't stand it when I hear people who do.

8) Have you been in many fights? Nope. Tried to avoid them mostly. The school bully had a go at me once and I knocked him out. He never came near me again. That's about as blokey as I get.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes, but I draw the line at ironing. Hoovering up and cleaning the bathroom's ok, and mowing the lawn.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No no no no no no no! Sidenote...unless The Apprentice counts...

[acooling08]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not that much, but I do love Top Gear.

2) Are you a big drinker? Nope. Four pints of lager and I'm drunk.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I am utterly useless. I had more chance of pulling at a library than a nightclub.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes. Especially Red Meat.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? I only bother after a shit.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? If there's no one else around and I really need to.

8) Have you been in many fights? Only once. I won.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? I'm 18, so still living with mummy and daddy.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No. I guess it's kind of blokey that I used to watch X Factor only for wanking over Cheryl Cole.

Surprised there's no questions about staring at tits in a 'bloke' questionaire.

[Guest MattP]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not at all, it's just a big piece of metal on wheels

2) Are you a big drinker? Yes, 12-15 pints is not a problem

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No, I look down on men who drink things like Bacardi Breezers

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Not bad, not great, I was usually too drunk the time I hit a nightclub.

5) Do you eat meat? 3 times a day minimum

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. Every single time. Anyone who doesnt is disgusting

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No, very weird.

8) Have you been in many fights? A few in my younger days, wouldnt be able to fight to any decent standard now

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No and I look down on people who do

[The Doctor]

1) a reasonable bit, love them from an engineering view-point, spectacular machines

2) Yes, a quiet night down the pub = minimum of 6 pints + pre-drinking. Actually drinking right now.

3) No - don't drink Real Ale.

4)Not really, absolute flop with the ladies

5) Hell yeah

6) yes, unhygienic not to.

7) that's just plain disgusting

8) Peace is at all times preferable to violence

9) Don't have an other half.

10) Not on your life.

I also love to cook and care about how I look - I'm just indoor plumbing away from being a woman.

[LukeyZade]

1) How interested are you in cars? I like cars quiet a bit, im a valeter

2) Are you a big drinker? Nope 4-5 im peeeeeed

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No. but wine drinkers thats preety gay

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? im 23 still shy but when i get going bam bam bam u know

5) Do you eat meat? heel yeeeah

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? mostly, depends where i am what im doing i spose

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Not really flemm spitting is an habit though

8) Have you been in many fights? No not many, im not violent just sarcastic cocky and pushing the boundaries

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes, Im a good cook, but again no ironing or washing machine operating for me.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Yea,

[Stay Positive]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not that much, but I do love Top Gear.

2) Are you a big drinker? Nope. Four pints of lager and I'm drunk.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I am utterly useless. I had more chance of pulling at a library than a nightclub.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes. Especially Red Meat.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? I only bother after a shit.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? If there's no one else around.

8) Have you been in many fights? Only once. I won.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? I'm 18, so still living with mummy and daddy.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No. I guess it's kind of blokey that I used to watch X Factor only for wanking over Cheryl Cole.

Surprised there's no questions about staring at tits in a 'bloke' questionaire.

I guess I just took that one for granted!

[Corky]

1) How interested are you in cars? Couldn't care less

2) Are you a big drinker? Don't drink.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Doesn't bother me.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Certainly not

5) Do you eat meat? Oh yes, love my bacon.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Absolutely not.

8) Have you been in many fights? Very few.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Live with parents. Making bed is about as much as I do.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Can't stand them.

[Guest MattP]

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs?

Best answer I ever heard to a question like this........"No, I dont understand why either as I speak two languages, English and Klingon"

[Libertine]

Bar the bizarre X Factor allegiance I have, same as Corky.

Which is worrying.

[purpleronnie]

I have to say, I'm really not that "Blokey" at all. Answer the following questions as a yardstick of your blokiness (I've put my answers in bold)

1) How interested are you in cars? nope, i find anyone who is very tedious and probably a nerd.

2) Are you a big drinker? When I drink which isnt often I can drink most people under the table

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? couldn't careless what people drink.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I I always thought chatting women up was a sign of desperation...so no..

5) Do you eat meat? yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? probably not.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No,.

8) Have you been in many fights? a few when I was younger due to my big mouth.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? 50/50.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? nope!

[Fox92]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not much, although I do watch Top Gear sometimes.

2) Are you a big drinker? No. A few pints of larger and I have gone.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I'd say I am decent. Not poor but not great. I like to try and make them laugh but end up making myself look like a dope. Haven't got me anywhere decent either.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes - I have a thing about my hands being clean. I wash them constantly.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No. Although if there is something in my throat I will clear it because I don't spit on the street or anything like that.

8) Have you been in many fights? No. Never ever been bad to anyone though. Don't talk about anyone in a bad way behind their back and never have.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Don't have a bird

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No because I generally do not agree with them.

[Corky]

Bar the bizarre X Factor allegiance I have, same as Corky.

Which is worrying.

Aww, Lib

[Webbo]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not at all.

2) Are you a big drinker? Not often

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Terrible

5) Do you eat meat? Yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Not always

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? It's been known

8) Have you been in many fights? Not since I left school.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Like feck

10) Do you watch tv talent shows?No, no ,no ,no, no.

[Amin]

1) How interested are you in cars?Very interested

2) Are you a big drinker?Don't drink

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"?No

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs?Never tried

5) Do you eat meat?Of course

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done?Mostly

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal?Ugh!

8) Have you been in many fights?Not since I was 10

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework?Doesn't apply

10) Do you watch tv talent shows?Can't stand them

[Houdini Logic]

I straighten my hair and moisturise my feet after a hard day, don't think I need to answer 10 questions to realise I'm not very 'blokey'

[ScouseFox]

1) How interested are you in cars? Meh, some cars look and feel incredible, but I don't really see why you'd spend so much on one etc.

2) Are you a big drinker? At weekends, yes. 8+ pints and shots if you're feeling up for it isn't too tricky.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Like MattP said, not a fan of them what drink Smirnoff Ice etc.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Not bad, but talking to birds is usually fucking boring.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes, obviously.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Yes, don't see why that's disgusting. Better than the floor, surely?

8) Have you been in many fights? Only stupid people resort to violence. Even slightly intelligent people can use words to sort things out.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Mummy does the washing and the cleaning and the cooking.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Yes. X Factor only, mind.

[Yojoe36]

1) How interested are you in cars? I love motorsport, so yes

2) Are you a big drinker? Nah, not really

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Nope

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I get all da pusseh

5) Do you eat meat? I LOVE MEAT!!!!

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Only when I go for a shit

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Hell no. Just wrong

8) Have you been in many fights? Never really pissed anyone off. And if I have, I destroy them (verbally) in arguments. Cause I'm smart

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? N/A

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Puffs

[FallenAngel]

1) How interested are you in cars? Very, I'm a petrolhead and always want to learn more about each car I've earned, I also repair and maintain my own cars when Possible and have tuned a couple myself. I love vw's especially.

2) Are you a big drinker? Not a regular drinker no but when I do I'm on whiskey.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No cos I'm smaller than most and not bothered what everyone else is drinking.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? No my misses would murder me!

5) Do you eat meat? Can't get enough, love a good rare steak

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Not every time no, I was taught not to piss on my hands!!

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No, and I can't stand it when I hear people who do.

8) Have you been in many fights? Yes a few but not for a long while

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes but I refuse to iron and won't clean the toilet

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Only x factor for a giggle.

So how blokey is that?? For a woman?!

[Uncle Phil]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not even remotely, except to make sure that my own Astra runs ok.

2) Are you a big drinker? Yes

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No, although I do love real ale.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Hit and miss really.

5) Do you eat meat? No.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Most of the time.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No.

8) Have you been in many fights? One or two.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes, although she'll probably tell you otherwise.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Definately no.

[Jackirius]

1) How interested are you in cars? Quite a big fan, like some motorsports but not a petrolhead.

2) Are you a big drinker? Yes, but i suppose thats just because of my age, although i haven't drank much the last month or so because of tablets.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? I drink lager .

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? I'm useless with pickup lines and lack the confidence to just go up to a girl and start chatting her up unless i am slaughtered.

5) Do you eat meat? Hell. Yes.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? If i have a dump i do.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Sometimes.

8) Have you been in many fights? Quite a few, had surgery a few weeks ago because of one .

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? N/A I do bugger all around the house though.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Watch a bit of the X factor occasionally but can't stand anything like Strictly come dancing etc...

[Bellend Sebastian]

1) How interested are you in cars? I'm not keen on driving and I despise car culture, quite like the cars themselves though

2) Are you a big drinker? Not really, I like drinking but not drinking loads

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Yes, because I'm better than them

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Never tried, got chatted up once, assumed it was a wind up and it probably wasn't. That says a lot about my state of mind at the time

5) Do you eat meat? Yes indeedy do

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Always always always after a poo, possibly not after a wee in an unclean public facility, where my cock is undoubtedly cleaner than the taps

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Maybe, but not in front of other people

8) Have you been in many fights? I'm not a sailor from the 19th century or a tramp, so no

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? I do my share and probably a bit of hers

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? I have watched the X Factor. What a spectacle!

[Trav Le Bleu]

1) How interested are you in cars? I love cars, but I'm reluctant to get under the bonnet. Having said that I had a Mini that I modded pretty heavily

2) Are you a big drinker? Nope. A four pack lasts me a week unless we have guests round.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? No, each has it's delights. It does disappoint me that some people won't even try anything except lager or cider.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Only been to a nightclub 6-8 times in my life. I don't see the point - expensive drinks, can't talk and most crap music.

5) Do you eat meat? Confirmed carnivore.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes. Every single time.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? Ewwwwwwww! No, why?

8) Have you been in many fights? Not since school and even then I once got out of one by fooling my opponent into going one way when I went another to be lost in the crowd. Fair play to him - he saw the funny side and didn't just give me a thumping later.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Yes, depending on who is working for income most that week depends on how much we do around the house. I even go shopping.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? Strictly! Young women wearing next to nothing and not a word of complaint from my wife!

[Zingari]

Too blokey to fill in questionnaires about how blokey I am

[BrummieFOX]

1) How interested are you in cars? Not hugely. Enjoy a nice car but I drive a Citreon Saxo so....

2) Are you a big drinker? Really enjoy a drink, especially before and after the football.

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? Yea.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Not really. Worst place to pull a girl in my opinion, you're only going to pull a slag in a club. Much better places for it.

5) Do you eat meat? Yea.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Of course.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No

8) Have you been in many fights? One proper one.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Live with a mate and yea.

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? No.

[AoWW]

Aw, bloody hell, have just realised I'm more blokey than most of you lot.

Here goes:

1) How interested are you in cars? Yep, utter petrolhead. Love cars... the sportier, bigger engined and swifter 0-60 the better. (Although I drive a typical hairdressers car at the moment!)

2) Are you a big drinker? Not as much as I used to be but then I was borderline alcoholic (even though I didn't realise it at the time). Still takes a huge amount to get me properly pissed though. I'm not a cheap date!

3) Do you look down on - or feel a kind of superiority over - blokes who drink lager and not "real ale"? I'm a spirits kinda girl - I look down on anything that's less than 80% proof.

4) Are/Were you any good at chatting up girls at nightclubs? Er, never tried chatting up a girl in a club.

5) Do you eat meat? Yes, and I like my steak rare, please.

6) Do you wash your hands after going to the toilet, regardless of what you've done? Yes.

7) Do you feel the need to cough phlegm up into the urinal? No, never.

8) Have you been in many fights? A few, and all but one of them have been with blokes! I'm generally very good at breaking up fights and somehow have found myself doing so on many occasions. I once knocked a guy in a nightclub out cold - had no idea my right hook was that good or that I would use it instinctively - he was about to glass a mate, though, who was oblivious to what was about to happen... I just happened to be within reach and knew he had to be stopped.

9) If you live with your other half, do you do your share of the housework? Live on my own so currently do all my own housework, On the lookout for a cleaner though... not sure if that makes me blokeish or just lazy!

10) Do you watch tv talent shows? A few, well, x-factor.