How will MI6 kill you?

[ozleicester]

Having read some more about the Gareth Williams (conspiracy) death theories, i though it might be a good idea to protect yourself by predicting (therefore preventing) just how you will meet you untimely and bizarre end

For me its probably quite simple...

im guessing ill be found hanging from a gum tree, self strangled by a corked hat, wearing that incredibly ugly goalkeepers shirt from the 90s, with a photo of sven in one hand and foxestalk (transfer section) on a tablet in the other.

Lets see them kill me now

[Zingari]

nice idea oz!

I'll be found drowned in the Trent after getting exceedingly drunk while celebrating Forest's winning the Premier League .

I reckon I'm safe from the devious swines now

[Guest MattP]

Found dead in a racecourse stable after a failed gambling coup.

[Finnegan]

Found in a field of sheep with my cock out and a shotgun blast in my back.

[Zingari]

Found in a field of sheep with my cock out and a shotgun blast in my back.

why would that be considered unusual ? surely that would look every inch a crime of passion .

the police would naturally assume you'd be shagging the farmer's favourite ewe.

[James.]

Burned on a pyre in the Occupy London camp.

[Greg2607]

I'm less scared of Mi6 doing it than I am my ex Missus. the b*tch.

[MikeyT]

Dragged through the streets of London to Tyburn where I will be hung, drawn and quartered and become a martyr.

[Rincewind]

Drowned in a vat of beer. Not the best but lager. Now that would be suspicious.

[Daggers]

The papers will marvel at my Rasputin-like appendage as I am found in bed in a hotel penthouse suite with all the contestants from Miss World, the floor covered in money and cocaine, champagne bottle littering the bathroom.

To be honest, I'm surprised I am still able to keep going at it with all of them.

[FoxyPV]

I'll be found with in a Rangers top with a younger woman in some murder suicide.

[Bellend Sebastian]

With my head in an aquarium with both my digestive tract and rectal cavity stuffed to bursting with Tunnocks Teacakes

[ithuriel]

Tied to a chair with a video of Eastenders on a repeat cycle on the television, eyes wide open and drool dripping from my distorted mouth. A bit like someone who watched the video in Ringu or its American version, The Ring.

[hairy]

Internal bleeding from a night in with Barrymore, orange in mouth.

[steveherbe]

In a heap at the KP, for all intents and purposes died of a heart attack - mind you, they'll have to wait until we finally seal promotion. Reckon I'm safe for years yet!!

[21st Century Fox]

Found floating face down in a swimming pool with a Toffee Crisp forced into every orifice.

[Lamby]

Eaten by a Cabbage

[Reynard Bleu]

Shot in the back by a jealous husband when I'm 97.

[I am Rod Hull]

Shot through the brain, but they`ll make it look like suicide by leaving the FT transfer thread open on my laptop.

[BoneDog]

Ginger wig, fishnets, full beard, strawberry mousse around my nipples. Shot myself in the head 7 times after chopping off both my hands with a samurai sword (to chop off my second hand I'd sellotaped the sword to my other arm stump, and obviously shot myself in the head 7 times using my toes).

Failing that, one of the 'classics'. Maybe the old fashioned heart attack gun or the classic mist of spray from a small perfume type dispenser or the end of a brolly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2jBrzGXqZ8

Or the other common choice of 'random' robbery and stab. They will catch said stabber (a patsy) and he will do three or four years, but he won't mind as he's already been paid 20,000 pound notes.

[Fox You Forest]

A lethal injection of blood that will react badly with my Carling.

[BoneDog]

I reckon I'm safe from the devious swines now

I wouldn't be so sure after reading in the 20mph thread that you have an on board computer! You could be party to an MI6 'car takeover'. This involves them following you, or passing you by from the opposite direction whilst pointing their 'ray gun type speed camera contraption' at your car, locking on to your chip and taking control of the vehicle.

[Zingari]

I wouldn't be so sure after reading in the 20mph thread that you have an on board computer! You could be party to an MI6 'car takeover'. This involves them following you, or passing you by from the opposite direction whilst pointing their 'ray gun type speed camera contraption' at your car, locking on to your chip and taking control of the vehicle.

i didn't know they could do that but it sounds safer than when the missus is driving