absolutelegend Posted 2 July 2012 Posted 2 July 2012 Anybody else's other half obsessed by this latest cruddery in literary fashion? Mine is speeding through the second of the three. Mine is also on the second. She'd obsessed. She was even talking about it in her sleep last nght - no joke.
Webbo Posted 2 July 2012 Posted 2 July 2012 The Irish goalkeeper has just written a book about his school exam results. It's called" Fifty grades of Shay."
caz05 Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Mine is also on the second. She'd obsessed. She was even talking about it in her sleep last nght - no joke. Ive just finished third one fantastic books
Guest Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Ive just finished third one fantastic books Only reports I've seen are that they are poorly written and promote dangerous sex. Still middle aged women obviously need a good beating these days.
SystonFox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Excuse me for asking but what is "dangerous sex?" I read one review that Said they opened the book randomly and the first thing to catch their eye was the words "anal fisting" .... Now come off it.... No orifice should ever be fisted it's just wrong plain wrong
wattolcfc Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 I've heard they're bringing out a homo-erotic sequel.. 50 shades of gay
Captain... Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 I've heard they're bringing out a homo-erotic sequel.. 50 shades of gay And the blacksploitation follow up: Fifty spades of gay.
Guest MattP Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Virtually every bird I've shagged has loved being choked whilst being fcuked. Not a new phenomenon at all, they do love it.
sphericalfox Posted 3 July 2012 Author Posted 3 July 2012 Virtually every bird I've shagged has loved being choked whilst being fcuked. Not a new phenomenon at all, they do love it.
Saxondale Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Everything's changed gents, you can ask your misses to do absolutely anything in the bedroom now. If you step over the mark, you simply explain that you read it in an erotic novel and you were fascinated. You no longer have to live in the fear that trying to do something filthy is effectively admitting that you watch a lot of filthy porn behind her back.
caz05 Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Only reports I've seen are that they are poorly written and promote dangerous sex. Still middle aged women obviously need a good beating these days. If you read all 3 books you get to realise that the man in question only treated women like this because he was treated like it as a child by a woman,yes it has sex in the book lots of it but most things are tried in the bedroom (if people are honest) but it is a good story and not poorly written at all well not in my opinion and 1000s of others that have read it.Everyone has different tastes and opinions
21st Century Fox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 If you read all 3 books you get to realise that the man in question only treated women like this because he was treated like it as a child by a woman,yes it has sex in the book lots of it but most things are tried in the bedroom (if people are honest) but it is a good story and not poorly written at all well not in my opinion and 1000s of others that have read it. Everyone has different tastes and opinions So women everywhere are flicking their bean to what is in essence the results of child abuse!!
caz05 Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 So women everywhere are flicking their bean to what is in essence the results of child abuse!! No i was referring to the beating women part actually if you havent read the books you wouldnt understand what the story is about,just because a few prudes think its badly written because it contains sex its not everyones opinion,yes its very detailed but it is also a decent story
Captain... Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 No i was referring to the beating women part actually if you havent read the books you wouldnt understand what the story is about,just because a few prudes think its badly written because it contains sex its not everyones opinion,yes its very detailed but it is also a decent story Well these extracts certainly suggest it is badly written, and not even that sexy, I normally get turned on when I get a text message but that did nothing for me but make me laugh. http://www.thedailyb...tiest-bits.html A few choice extracts: “I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” (137) “Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! … He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no … Will it? How?” (116) “You beguile me, Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun.”
Zingari Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Well these extracts certainly suggest it is badly written, and not even that sexy, I normally get turned on when I get a text message but that did nothing for me but make me laugh. http://www.thedailyb...tiest-bits.html A few choice extracts: “I pull him deeper into my mouth so I can feel him at the back of my throat and then to the front again. My tongue swirls around the end. He’s my very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle. I suck harder and harder … Hmm … My inner goddess is doing the merengue with some salsa moves.” (137) “Suddenly, he sits up and tugs my panties off and throws them on the floor. Pulling off his boxer briefs, his erection springs free. Holy cow! … He kneels up and pulls a condom onto his considerable length. Oh no … Will it? How?” (116) “You beguile me, Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the sun.” that's not how my missus makes meringues , she uses a whisk !
Saxondale Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 “Sitting beside me, he gently pulls my sweatpants down. Up and down like a whores’ drawers, my subconscious remarks bitterly. In my head, I tell her where to go. Christian squirts baby oil into his hand and then rubs my behind with careful tenderness—from makeup remover to soothing balm for a spanked ass, who would have thought it was such a versatile liquid.” Booker Prize potential. Oh, hang on, it's three volumes of low-grade fanfic dross. Oh, and any English author who uses the word 'sweatpants' in a book deserves to be put into Noel Edmonds' gunge tank (filled with human faeces) and told what a literary failure they are by a gurning Mr Blobby by way of punishment.
Guest Bilo Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 lol lol I swear the Kriss Akabusi sex stories had better metaphors and similes. I'd have more joy jerkin' my gherkin to Schindler's List. There's a shower scene.
Captain... Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Booker Prize potential. Oh, hang on, it's three volumes of low-grade fanfic dross. Oh, and any English author who uses the word 'sweatpants' in a book deserves to be put into Noel Edmonds' gunge tank (filled with human faeces) and told what a literary failure they are by a gurning Mr Blobby by way of punishment. A longer extract: http://darhkportal.c...-with-giveaway/ There are so many Americanisms I had to check that the author was British. How much can you read before wanting to kill yourself, or have a wank, I got to here. "With one finger, he pulls down my bra cups in turn, my breasts pushed up, exposed and vulnerable. Leaning down, he kisses and tugs at each of my nipples in turn with cool, cold lips. I fight my body as it tries to arch in response. “How nice is this?” he breathes, blowing on one of my nipples. I hear another clink of ice, and then I can feel it round my right nipple as he tugs the left one with his lips. I moan, struggling not to move. It’s sweet, agonizing torture. “If you spill the wine, I won’t let you come.” “Oh… please… Christian… Sir… Please.” He’s driving me insane. I hear him smile."
Vacamion Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Point was rightly made in the press the other day of the unfairness of the situation that for years if a bloke got fruity with the missus and said "I've just seen something in a porn publication and I want to try and experiment with you", it didn't go down too well, but now women are fizzing at the bunghole having read these books, it's all OK. On the one hand, bleedin double standards. On the other, win/win... "With one finger, he pulls down my bra cups in turn, my breasts pushed up, exposed and vulnerable. Leaning down, he kisses and tugs at each of my nipples in turn with cool, cold lips. I fight my body as it tries to arch in response. “How nice is this?” he breathes, blowing on one of my nipples. I hear another clink of ice, and then I can feel it round my right nipple as he tugs the left one with his lips. I moan, struggling not to move. It’s sweet, agonizing torture. “If you spill the wine, I won’t let you come.” “Oh… please… Christian… Sir… Please.” He’s driving me insane. I hear him smile." So did you kill yourself or have a wank?
Captain... Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 Point was rightly made in the press the other day of the unfairness of the situation that for years if a bloke got fruity with the missus and said "I've just seen something in a porn publication and I want to try and experiment with you", it didn't go down too well, but now women are fizzing at the bunghole having read these books, it's all OK. On the one hand, bleedin double standards. On the other, win/win... So did you kill yourself or have a wank? erm... ...killed myself...
Saxondale Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 A longer extract: http://darhkportal.c...-with-giveaway/ There are so many Americanisms I had to check that the author was British. How much can you read before wanting to kill yourself, or have a wank, I got to here. "With one finger, he pulls down my bra cups in turn, my breasts pushed up, exposed and vulnerable. Leaning down, he kisses and tugs at each of my nipples in turn with cool, cold lips. I fight my body as it tries to arch in response. “How nice is this?” he breathes, blowing on one of my nipples. I hear another clink of ice, and then I can feel it round my right nipple as he tugs the left one with his lips. I moan, struggling not to move. It’s sweet, agonizing torture. “If you spill the wine, I won’t let you come.” “Oh… please… Christian… Sir… Please.” He’s driving me insane. I hear him smile." Using the adjectives cool and cold sequentially? DID ANYBODY PROOFREAD THIS? Shrappers, you're right. Suicide is the only viable option. The world had gone mad.
21st Century Fox Posted 3 July 2012 Posted 3 July 2012 I guess if your furiously rubbing your meat curtains, whilst trying to drown out the sound of the kids downstairs, it's quite easy to forgive the appalling writing.
Saxondale Posted 4 July 2012 Posted 4 July 2012 I suppose it's quieter than a Rampant Rabbit. Though the Chinese children who assemble the Rabbits in a Shanghai factory could probably write better English.
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