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sphericalfox

Fiddy Shades of Brown

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Posted

http://www.bbc.co.uk...ashire-18753658

An academic has used descriptions and image-generating software to create the "first picture" of a character from EL James's novel Fifty Shades of Grey.

University of Central Lancashire's Dr Faye Skelton made the image using descriptions of how women said they imagined protagonist Christian Grey.

Dr Skelton said the composite, created with software used to make images of criminal suspects, was "a bit of fun".

She said she hoped the image would not "intrude on anyone's fantasies".

'Quite handsome'

The erotic novel, which recently became the fastest adult paperback novel to sell one million print copies, tells the story of the steamy relationship between billionaire businessman Christian Grey and "unworldly, innocent" literature student, Anastasia Steele.

Dr Skelton used the descriptions of 12 women given to a radio station to create the composite and said most had drawn "comparisons with famous film stars".

"While we don't want to intrude on anyone's fantasies, based on a small sample of women, this is the image of Christian Grey they have in their heads when reading the novels," she said.

"Personally, I think he's quite handsome - although everyone's interpretation will be different."

She added that the image "was just a bit of fun, but it does show the quality of image we can now generate".

The university's psychology department has been at the forefront of facial composite technology and created advanced software which uses the selection of multiple complete faces to create an image of a person.

It has been used by police forces across the world to identify criminal suspects.

_61426851_christian_grey_uclan.jpg

klit-bros.jpg

:blink:

Posted

I went to Bristol at the weekend, and saw about 8 women reading it, openly, brazenly.

Quite coincidentally I am currently reading this,

shades-of-grey-pbk.jpg

A great book that I would highly recommend.

Posted

I went to Bristol at the weekend, and saw about 8 women reading it, openly, brazenly.

Quite coincidentally I am currently reading this,

shades-of-grey-pbk.jpg

A great book that I would highly recommend.

I didn't like it as much as his other stuff.

I suppose that might be because I don't know the difference between magena and magnolia mso most of the jokes had to be explained to me by MsFoxy.

Posted

I didn't like it as much as his other stuff.

I suppose that might be because I don't know the difference between magena and magnolia mso most of the jokes had to be explained to me by MsFoxy.

I just love the world he creates, it is so bizarre, yet well thought out, I've just go to the bit where the Apocryphal man explains what the stars are, even though he was being thoroughly ignored, it certainly has elements of 1984 in there, but I just think it is so well written and conceived that even though I don't know my Lincoln from my Lapis Lazuli, I just love it.

"All children will leave school with an above average education" - genius.

Edit: I even considered going to the Fforde Fiesta in Swindon, but it clashed with going back to Spain, maybe next year.

Posted

I just love the world he creates, it is so bizarre, yet well thought out, I've just go to the bit where the Apocryphal man explains what the stars are, even though he was being thoroughly ignored, it certainly has elements of 1984 in there, but I just think it is so well written and conceived that even though I don't know my Lincoln from my Lapis Lazuli, I just love it.

"All children will leave school with an above average education" - genius.

Edit: I even considered going to the Fforde Fiesta in Swindon, but it clashed with going back to Spain, maybe next year.

It is still head and shoulders above most of the other fiction I've read but not up to his usual standard. I'm looking forward to the new Thursday Next but would really love it if he did another book for the Nursery Crime series.

Posted

Not read any yet. Still going through the Foundation series by Asimov. I have two of the books on Calibre Ithink I'll read them after.

Trouble with the Ebooks I have my brother downloaded a load off some site and the print layout is terrible. There are also spelling mistakes in some books and words bunched together. Don't think they should be like that. But they were free.

Posted

It is still head and shoulders above most of the other fiction I've read but not up to his usual standard. I'm looking forward to the new Thursday Next but would really love it if he did another book for the Nursery Crime series.

I've only just started reading Fforde after a recommendation by someone on this forum.

Read the first Thursday next - Jane Eyre - it's okay, some very clever parts but it doesn't captivate me. Still it was his first and I'll definitely try the next as well.

Posted

I've only just started reading Fforde after a recommendation by someone on this forum.

Read the first Thursday next - Jane Eyre - it's okay, some very clever parts but it doesn't captivate me. Still it was his first and I'll definitely try the next as well.

The series gets better until 5+6 which are both meh.

His Nursery Crimes series is brilliant.

Posted

50 Shades of Clegg

10-07-12

THE Daily Mash presents an exclusive excerpt from the erotic memoir that is setting the publishing world alight. The million-selling book tells the story of an ambitious young politician who enters into a sado-masochistic relationship with a seductively powerful Old Etonian…

greysuitman2501.jpg

Pain becomes pleasure for Clegg

The Downing Street office reeked of wood polish and Tory man musk. In my former life – debating some half-baked ‘double garage tax’ with Vince Cable over lasagnes at the Ramada Inn – I had been confident, domineering, a leader of sorts. But this was the pheromone-scented gorilla nest of power. His world.

He swivelled in his chair as I entered. I noticed that He was eating a peach, noisily.

“What the **** do you want, Clegg?”

I realised my mind had gone blank. Why had I come? Student fees? Some tax or other? It no longer mattered. I was the rabbit. He was the headlights.

“I…I…think…”

He sucked out the peach stone, like some pedigree sex hoover, and spat it into my forehead, making a small dent.

“Who gives a rat’s cock what you think, you worm?”

“But…I’m the Deputy Prime Minister.”

“You realise that vanity title is nothing but longhand for ‘**** Pony’? It’s meaningless crap. There is only one truth in this world, Clegg…pain.”

He laughed, mirthlessly, rapaciously, revealing strong canines utterly unlike Vince Cable’s dentures, which were fit only for weakly sucking at pasta sheets.

“Let me show you something, Clegg. It is time for your initiation to begin.”

He pressed a button on his desk and a section of oak panel slid back. A hooded figure emerged from the rectangle of darkness. Although its face was covered, from the aimless limping gait and laboured breathing I could tell it was Michael Gove, dressed as a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

“Take him into the playroom Michael, and strap him to ‘Le Pouton’. Shave him top and bottom, I’ll see to him after this conference call.”

With the phone handset wedged between chin and shoulder, He opened his desk drawer and removed something that looked like a ping pong bat studded with nails.

Michael Gove looped a rope around my wrists and yanked them hard behind my back.

Gove, who is surprisingly strong, dragged me into the secret room, where strange devices gauged to inflict both pain and pleasure lined the wall.

I felt scared and demeaned and excited, knowing no one would hear my screams when He finished his conference call and came to administer his terrible, loving punishment. No one…

Except George Osborne, who wouldn’t care anyway.

Posted

Haha, just read that on the mash website and was coming here to post it, only to be beaten to it by a day lol. Genius stuff, all hail The Mash

Posted

Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob

17-07-12

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)

Since your wife read 50 Shades Of Grey your love life has really changed – her saucy text messages have become grammatically all over the place.

Posted

Just seen the young blonde in one of the flats we summer let reading this.

Might pop down later :ph34r:lol

Posted

"As he approached with those

pasty white arms hanging out

of his Gola vest, his smile told

me it was benefit day and I

knew my velour tracksuit would

be hanging off the lamp shade

tonight!

It was Dwayne's

birthday. I was preparing his

special tea of Findus Crispy

Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I

would let him take me any way

he wanted tonight. His favourite

position was what he...... called

The Dogs of War. Where he

took me from behind and

played Call of Duty at the same

time.

Our 6 week anniversary

was approaching. This would be

my longest relationship without

becoming pregnant. I thought

of this as he lay on top of me

making love. His skinny arms

straddled my head like

breadsticks either side of an

orange. As I rubbed his whiter

than white back I imagined

every mole I felt was spelling

out Braille for I love you!

As I

stood in line at the Job Centre

thinking of reasons I couldn't

work, a sweet smell drifted past

my pig like nostrils. It was a

mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx

Africa. I turned around and

there was Dwayne. Our eyes

met and he was soon lifting me

onto the wheelie bins behind

the Iceland. He had tied up his

Staffy to block the ally way so

we wouldn't be disturbed.

There

was a tramp watching but it just

added to the mystery. I knew it

was love and my life would

never be the same. My mum

had told me to leave Dwayne

many times due to the violence

but I knew he loved me as he

always took his rings off before

he hit me.

Tonight though he

was in a foul mood, I had

****** his tea up after failing

to de-frost his prawn ring I had

nicked from farm foods. He

picked up the power lead from

my kids mega drive and

whipped it across my doughy

****. It stung but I liked it. I

shouted again again so he

carried on. I thought my shell

suit would rip into a million

pieces. As I looked over my

shoulder I saw his Weetabix

toothed smile. He even had a

semi on which is rare as the crack

normally played havoc with his

erections.........

Posted

Now, I don't geddit...

If my missus caught me reading the "true stories" sections of a mens porn mag I'd be persona-non-grata for at least a week and would have to do mountains of domestic duties to get close to being forgiven... right guys?

Yet she has it FSoG downloaded on her ****ing kindle and it's ok... !??

edit. I've got triangular sandwiches in my lunchbox tonight... does that mean I'm forgiven?

Posted

Now, I don't geddit...

If my missus caught me reading the "true stories" sections of a mens porn mag I'd be persona-non-grata for at least a week and would have to do mountains of domestic duties to get close to being forgiven... right guys?

Yet she has it FSoG downloaded on her ****ing kindle and it's ok... !??

edit. I've got triangular sandwiches in my lunchbox tonight... does that mean I'm forgiven?

Crusts on or off?

Posted

Now, I don't geddit...

If my missus caught me reading the "true stories" sections of a mens porn mag I'd be persona-non-grata for at least a week and would have to do mountains of domestic duties to get close to being forgiven... right guys?

Yet she has it FSoG downloaded on her ****ing kindle and it's ok... !??

edit. I've got triangular sandwiches in my lunchbox tonight... does that mean I'm forgiven?

It means youre in!.

I dont get anyone complaining about your missus reading it...surely it just enhances your opportunities for more rooting?... well it did for me.. and yes..she said i was better than you :P

Posted

Now, I don't geddit...

If my missus caught me reading the "true stories" sections of a mens porn mag I'd be persona-non-grata for at least a week and would have to do mountains of domestic duties to get close to being forgiven... right guys?

Yet she has it FSoG downloaded on her ****ing kindle and it's ok... !??

edit. I've got triangular sandwiches in my lunchbox tonight... does that mean I'm forgiven?

no, it means she wants you to munch on the triangle :)

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