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Mark

Classic Partridge quotes

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...
Posted

il_fullxfull.136364351_large.jpg

On a side note, does anyone know how to isolate this image so that it's just a still of him with his mouth open? I'd be most grateful if someone could help.

dandandandan.gif

Guest Bilo
Posted

I'm sorry, that was just a noise.

The other day his jeans were so far up his backside you could practically see his anus.

Thank you Sonja, that was classic intercourse.

Posted

il_fullxfull.136364351_large.jpg

On a side note, does anyone know how to isolate this image so that it's just a still of him with his mouth open? I'd be most grateful if someone could help.

dandandandan.gif

lol

  • 4 months later...
Posted

Don't know if anyone else has heard about it, sounds like there is going to be a new online series.

KASABIAN have discovered the identity of their biggest critic - and he is usually found on the graveyard shift in a pokey radio studio in Norwich.

Bumbling DJ and monkey tennis enthusiast ALAN PARTRIDGE left a ranting message on frontman TOM MEIGHAN's voicemail.

He criticised the band for naming themselves after LINDA KASABIAN - the getaway driver of serial killer CHARLES MANSON.

Thankfully Alan won't find himself in the same hot water fellow answerphone pranksters RUSSELL BRAND and JONATHAN ROSS paddled in.

The rant is likely to form part of Alan's comeback series, which creator STEVE COOGAN is putting online.

I'm surprised Alan didn't get assistant LYNN to call for him - after she'd picked up his fungal foot powder.

Tom said: "It was the most surreal thing ever. I was checking my voicemails and they were all pretty mundane... then Alan Partridge piped up.

"He was having a right go at us, saying we were setting a bad example to kids for naming the band after Linda Kasabian.

"It was hysterical. I love Steve Coogan, he's a funny man.

"I've kept it, though I'm slightly worried how he got my number - and that I'm going to feature on some wind-up show."

Linda Kasabian was an accomplice to Manson and his so-called "Manson Family" - a commune responsible for a string of murders in the late 1960s.

But she was also the key witness in a 1970 trial when Manson was convicted of killing nine people.

Her murky background didn't stop the Leicester rockers liking the sound of her surname - to the apparent disgust of Partridge.

The failed TV presenter was probably calling from the Linton Travel Tavern, but the Kasabian lads shouldn't be too offended - there's no way he hates them as much as he does the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre.

Partridge is one of the great comedy characters and it's brilliant he's coming back. Smell my cheese, you mother...

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Don't know if anyone else has heard about it, sounds like there is going to be a new online series.

"

Hes done a series for Fosters,1st episode will be shown on November 5 :scarf:

Posted

Not been through all the pages but.

When Alan was in the radio studio as a guest,with an ex drug addict, who said he was always talking about anecdotes,and saying "needless to say i had the last laugh."

Alan replied "you wouldnt,you would say NEEDLES to say i had the last laugh"

When talking about the Irish potato famine killing millions "well you will pay the price,for being fussy eaters"

My Molly Sugden moment.The (southern) builder series 2,is my mate !

Posted

*After accidentally shooting a guest on his talk show*

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge. It's a live show... in a, in a live television... erm... anything can happen.

I... I... I don't know if you remember Blue Peter when the elephant... erm... made a mess on the studio floor.

I made a mess, I can't deny it.

You saw it there, you saw it here first - another exclusive for Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge."

Posted

Buying a house..

Alan: 'Right, I'll take it!'

'Err, you have to make an offer.'

Alan: 'Ah, yes, how much is it?'

'£325,000'

Alan: 'would you take, three-hundred and..twenty....four thousand?'

lol

Posted

Jean: Well I just thought I’d pour chocolate mousse over you.

David: You’ve got it on the bedsheets, you’ve got it on my dressing gown, you’ve got it on the valance…

Jean: The what?

David: The skirt thing round the side of the bed.

Jean: I thought it’d be erotic.

David: Oh, Jill. Mousse from a bowl is very nice, but to put it on a person is demented!

Jean: Come on, it’s only a bit of chocolate!

David: It may be chocolate to you, Jill, but to an unwitting member of staff this could look like some sort of… dirty protest against the standard of service in the hotel, which I happen to think is very good. I mean, it’s not five-star but it’s certainly competitive.

Posted

Fancy a pint?

He likes American things now.

Sub Human scum,

Ive just let off in a tax inspectors face.

Titsnade Zoo, Boob Olympics.

Can you make porn come back on my telly.

He drinks yellow stuff in tins, he's an idiot.

I dont want to be part of your sex festival.

So ruddy bloody brave.

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