Wycombe Fox Posted 5 May 2013 Posted 5 May 2013 I'm going to give you chaps some advice based upon the excruciating pain that I have just experienced. Anybody use one of these in the shower? See that hanging ribbon? CUT IT NOW!!!! I like a quick vigourous shower in the morning; in, good scrub down and out. Today, I'm washing my upper leg with a quick up/down motion with the above article. Somehow on one of the upstrokes, my scrotum managed to find it's way into the hanging loop. The result on the downstroke was...well you can imagine. I must've sounded like Bernie AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. It said on the label 'Does Not Contain Nuts' For a split second it feckin' did!!! CUT THAT LOOP NOW!!!!
davieG Posted 5 May 2013 Posted 5 May 2013 Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Do they make a lusty clamor when you hit them with a hammer?Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Can you bounce 'em off the wall like an Indian rubber ball?Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Do they have a hollow sound when you drag 'em on the ground?Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Do they have a mellow tingle when you hit 'em with a shingle?Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Do they have a salty taste when you wrap 'em 'round your waist?Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low? Do your balls hang low? Do they swing to and fro?Can you tie 'em in a knot? Can you tie 'em in a bow?Do they chime like a gong when you pull upon your dong?Can you do the double shuffle when your balls hang low?
FoxesAreBlue Posted 5 May 2013 Posted 5 May 2013 I've got the double sided lynx one with the rubber handle on it. Its fairly pointy and I caught my right nut on it not so long ago. You know when you block a shot at goal with the one part of your body that has absolutely no business being in contact with a football? (no not your hands - that's acceptable) Well it was EXACTLY the same feeling as that. I practically fell over and died. Needless to say the over-engineered and overpriced stupid thing is now in the bin.
Trav Le Bleu Posted 5 May 2013 Posted 5 May 2013 No worries. Mine are too big for that tiny, tiny, little loop.
stevelcfc Posted 5 May 2013 Posted 5 May 2013 Their bigger than you think! Edit: The loop, not IOWF balls
Steven Posted 5 May 2013 Posted 5 May 2013 No worries. Mine are too big for that tiny, tiny, little loop. I was going to say that but I thought it might be boasting.
DANGEROUS TIGER Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 It's the trouser zip that I dread, Trying to extricate oneself from this agonising situation is more than words can say. Maybe I shouldn't be so well blessed.
Webbo Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 It's the trouser zip that I dread, Trying to extricate oneself from this agonising situation is more than words can say. Maybe I shouldn't be so well blessed. You want to start worrying when you get it tangled in your shoe laces.
Stadt Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 At my primary school we were getting changed fromPE and this lad caught his fore skin in his zip!
sphericalfox Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 I knew of someone who on trying to retrive his schoolbag, stolen and placed at the top of the goal posts, tried to jimmy his way up to unhook it, slipped and caught his bollocks on the way down.
Stadt Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 I knew of someone who on trying to retrive his schoolbag, stolen and placed at the top of the goal posts, tried to jimmy his way up to unhook it, slipped and caught his bollocks on the way down.
FoxesAreBlue Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 Aren't those for women? What bolloks? I've got news for you kingy, those arn't women you've been spying on over the road.
Kitchandro Posted 7 May 2013 Posted 7 May 2013 At my primary school we were getting changed fromPE and this lad caught his fore skin in his zip!
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