I have never.....

[Renart]

I've never shagged a cat

 

but it has obviously crossed your mind.....

[Carl the Llama]

I have never sat on an imitation penis.

[I am Rod Hull]

I have never sat on an imitation penis.

 

Just real ones?

[MooseBreath]

I've never been caught masturbating on a public bus.

[Trav Le Bleu]

I've never been caught masturbating on a public bus.

 

Caught being the operative word.

[Guest MattP]

I've never been caught masturbating on a public bus.

 

Me neither unless you include National Express.

[I am Rod Hull]

Me neither unless you include National Express.

 

MattP using public transport? 

[Guest MattP]

MattP using public transport? 

 

Why do you think I have to get the train?

[Carl the Llama]

Just real ones?

Don't tell me you've forgotten that beautiful night we shared.

[Alf Bentley]

I've never been caught masturbating on a public bus.

 

 

Me neither unless you include National Express.

 

 

MattP using public transport? 

 

His chauffeur got a bit pissed at a Buck House garden party in honour of Mrs. T.

 

So Matt bought all 52 tickets on the last National Express coach back to Leicester and traveled home solo on the back seat, masturbating all the way thinking of all the people he'd deprived of a ticket 

[I am Rod Hull]

Don't tell me you've forgotten that beautiful night we shared.

 

I was only 2 years old, how do expect me to remember that?...  

[The Horse's Mouth]

but it has obviously crossed your mind.....

I know they're right horney little creatures, rubbing his tail up and down me. It obviously wants the D.

[cambridgefox]

I have never watched any of the lord of the rings or harry potter films.

I have also never been allowed to smash my wives back doors in.

I've never been caught by Bayfox smashing his wife's back doors in.

Does this make me "lord of he rings"

[Guest ttfn]

I have never seen Jaws, used the NHS or took a driving lesson.

You've NEVER used the NHS? I call bullshit.

[Guest MattP]

You've NEVER used the NHS? I call bullshit.

 

Possibly when I was being born, apart from that no.

[jonthefox]

I have never seen Jaws, used the NHS or took a driving lesson.

 

 

What not even a GP or a dentist?.

[pSinatra]

Possibly when I was being born, apart from that no.

 

Have you ever been to see a GP or had dental care........that wasn't private?

 

Edit........what he said!!

[AoWW]

Eaten a sprout - the smell is enough to make me gag.  

[Guest MattP]

Have you ever been to see a GP or had dental care........that wasn't private?

 

Edit........what he said!!

 

Always had a private dentist.

 

GP yep, you have got me there! Couple of occasions!

[jonthefox]

Eaten a sprout - the smell is enough to make me gag.

 

 

Same here. Sprouts are the work of the devil and cabbage is its evil sidekick.

[Staff]

I have never seen a James Bond film!

[Guest Bilo]

I have never watched the Goonies, had sex with an animal, been to Asia or done a sky dive.

 

I intend to complete three of the four within the next two years.

[cambridgefox]

I have never watched the Goonies, had sex with an animal, been to Asia or done a sky dive.

 

I intend to complete three of the four within the next two years. [/quote

Scared of heights?

[pSinatra]

I've never seen a film in 3D

 

........the last film I saw at the cinema was Oceans Eleven in 2001.  It really was that bad!!

[Guest Bilo]

I have never watched the Goonies, had sex with an animal, been to Asia or done a sky dive.

 

I intend to complete three of the four within the next two years. [/quote

Scared of heights?

 

Quite fancy sky diving actually, have done for ages.

 

Not so sure about the Goonies mind.