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Guest MattP

Convictions

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Posted

Some years ago I got hammered in Covent Garden with a couple of mates then went to a pizza place. We ordered three salads, ate them, then realised that between us we could only cobble together about a fiver. Total cost of the salads was £12.60. So somebody had the bright idea of doing a runner.

 

We barreled through the door and down a long alleyway. Almost immediately I heard running footsteps behind us. I remember thinking "Christ, the waiter is persistent". I split off from my mates and weaved through the lanes and alleys towards the middle of covent garden. It was a busy friday night and as I neared the square I heard a voice behind me shouting "stop him" but people just scattered in all directions. At this point I looked over my shoulder expecting to see a pizza waiter, and instead saw three cops on foot and a van with flashing blue lights chasing me down the road. I pulled up and they piled into me. Got thrown up against a steel gate, punched in the face and thrown into the back of the van where my two mates were already waiting

 

Ended up in Bow street cells for a few hours (quite an experience), then an appearance at Bow st magistrates court where we all received a fine of £30, and were also ordered to pay for the salads.

 

On the bright side, I got to see the inside of historic Bow Street (which is now closed) and my criminal record is seen as an asset here in Australia :D

 

 

Posted

Some years ago I got hammered in Covent Garden with a couple of mates then went to a pizza place. We ordered three salads, ate them, then realised that between us we could only cobble together about a fiver. Total cost of the salads was £12.60. So somebody had the bright idea of doing a runner.

 

We barreled through the door and down a long alleyway. Almost immediately I heard running footsteps behind us. I remember thinking "Christ, the waiter is persistent". I split off from my mates and weaved through the lanes and alleys towards the middle of covent garden. It was a busy friday night and as I neared the square I heard a voice behind me shouting "stop him" but people just scattered in all directions. At this point I looked over my shoulder expecting to see a pizza waiter, and instead saw three cops on foot and a van with flashing blue lights chasing me down the road. I pulled up and they piled into me. Got thrown up against a steel gate, punched in the face and thrown into the back of the van where my two mates were already waiting

 

Ended up in Bow street cells for a few hours (quite an experience), then an appearance at Bow st magistrates court where we all received a fine of £30, and were also ordered to pay for the salads.

 

On the bright side, I got to see the inside of historic Bow Street (which is now closed) and my criminal record is seen as an asset here in Australia :D

 

Nice effort, but three guys ordering salads?

 

If you're not gay you should have been arrested for that.

Posted

Bin done for ABH and racially aggravated assault which was NOT true i never used one racist word it just happend to be im white he was indian yet he started the scrap and i was 12 year's old at the time also tried getting me done for robbery cos i threw his push bike on him after the fight apprently he thought i was going to rob it but that got drop'd.

Posted

Nice effort, but three guys ordering salads?

 

If you're not gay you should have been arrested for that.

Ha ha yes. I bet he doesn't tell anyone ow he got his criminal record.

I tried bumping a curry house in nottingham with a couple of mates once just for the eck of it. Problem was thy left after barely touching their curry, which kind of defeats the object, leaving me alone with what was now a banquet. The waiters had obviously clicked on to what was happening and spent the next twenty minutes polishing the tables near me while I tucked in asking them questions about the recipes and how they we're cooked. Anyway when I decided to make my move they headed me off in a pincer movement while I pretended to have lost my way to the till. I can see my mates outside now laughing at me as I footed the bill.

Posted

Ha ha yes. I bet he doesn't tell anyone ow he got his criminal record.

I tried bumping a curry house in nottingham with a couple of mates once just for the eck of it. Problem was thy left after barely touching their curry, which kind of defeats the object, leaving me alone with what was now a banquet. The waiters had obviously clicked on to what was happening and spent the next twenty minutes polishing the tables near me while I tucked in asking them questions about the recipes and how they we're cooked. Anyway when I decided to make my move they headed me off in a pincer movement while I pretended to have lost my way to the till. I can see my mates outside now laughing at me as I footed the bill.

 

I've bumped a few places in the past and been quite lucky, we did one in Paris a few years back and were being chased by all sorts, how we got away to this day I'll never know, worst thing was we ordered a 300 euro bottle of wine for a Dutch couple on a table next to us and said not to worry about it it was "on us". Fcuk knows if they got done for it. Could you imagine them trying to explain we had bought it for them after we had done a runner lol

 

Funniest bump was a taxi back from Town, 3 of us and we were so pissed we could hardly sit let alone walk, we all agreed to bump it on Dominion Road so stopped and booted the doors open, all fell out and stumbled about ten yards into a bush, cut, blood and bruises everywhere.

 

Never forget us looking up and seeing the cab driver shouting out the window "what are you doing you, you have already paid".

Posted

I've bumped a few places in the past and been quite lucky, we did one in Paris a few years back and were being chased by all sorts, how we got away to this day I'll never know, worst thing was we ordered a 300 euro bottle of wine for a Dutch couple on a table next to us and said not to worry about it it was "on us". Fcuk knows if they got done for it. Could you imagine them trying to explain we had bought it for them after we had done a runner lol

 

Funniest bump was a taxi back from Town, 3 of us and we were so pissed we could hardly sit let alone walk, we all agreed to bump it on Dominion Road so stopped and booted the doors open, all fell out and stumbled about ten yards into a bush, cut, blood and bruises everywhere.

 

Never forget us looking up and seeing the cab driver shouting out the window "what are you doing you, you have already paid".

Haha thats got me chuckling

Posted

Nothing worse than a vegan coming at you with a stick of celery.

 

I forgot to mention that I was guilty of having a perm in the late 70's but it was only for a short while so no charges were ever brought.

Posted

Nothing worse than a vegan coming at you with a stick of celery.

 

I forgot to mention that I was guilty of having a job in the late 70's but it was only for a short while so no charges were ever brought.

 

Couldn't resist. lol

Posted

Got put on an ID parade on one of my stag do's.Me dressed as a French Maid!

Some Italians had a go at us and gave some verbals,then one threw something and hit the hardest of our lads 3 KOs and a broken jaw later and much running/ staggering we were caught.Although I was too pissed to really know what went on I wouldn't divulge who did it( he made sure he was miles away)Police harassment for months everyday.Said they were going to do me for withholding evidence and threatened to turn up at the wedding.

Posted

Were you a Special Cvntstable?

Police Community Support Officer. We had the power to detain, but advised to radio for a police officer to make an arrest. Technically  we could arrest but did not carry baton, or cs gas, but on the trains we could carry hand cuffs.

 

Twice had people pull a knife on me.

Posted

I went through a traffic light 1.2 seconds after it went red.  I was forced to attend a half day course on traffic lights else get 3 points.

Serves you bloody well right. 

 

Seriously though it is damn dangerous. 

 

i had to attend an accident when a passenger was killed as a result of this. Not nice my friend.

Posted

I went through a traffic light 1.2 seconds after it went red.  I was forced to attend a half day course on traffic lights else get 3 points.

 

Good.

Posted

Serves you bloody well right. 

 

Seriously though it is damn dangerous. 

 

i had to attend an accident when a passenger was killed as a result of this. Not nice my friend.

 

Totally agree with you.

 

Good.

 

Again, you are right.

 

In my defense it wasn't a conscious decision to do it.  It was a genuine mistake on my part.  I won't be doing it again.

Posted

Nice effort, but three guys ordering salads?

 

If you're not gay you should have been arrested for that.

 

Money was tight, and back then this particular pizza place had re-fillable salad bowls, so you could actually have quite a feed without shelling out a fortune. Although in our case we ended up shelling out £102.60 for three salads, so not such a great deal

Posted

Used to love detaining shoplifters, druggies. Almost as good as an orgasm.  :thumbup:

 

If that is true, then I think you are doing at least one of them wrong.

Posted

Used to love detaining shoplifters, druggies. Almost as good as an orgasm.  :thumbup:

:o I thought that was a truncheon I brushed up against 

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