Vacamion

This ref's giving us nowt.

There's going to be a lot of Newcastle players getting "cramp" and taking an age to get up. If Liverpool are within a goal, there will be 10 mins plus of added on time.

Peter Drury and his set of pre-prepared lines can do one.

Game needs a goal. Both sets of players crowding the ref, I hate to see it.

I want Harvey to play well, but the ideal outcome for me is a Liverpool win (spits), so that Newcastle still won't have won anything since Pathé News reported it, whilst we've won loads, despite our current woes.

Speaking from local experience, the smell is pocket sized bottles of buckie, badly cut speed, a soupçon of grey trackie bottoms, with finishing notes of blood-laced-spittle and domestic violence.

Kasper and corners. We know this script...

Changing it to a European Rugby Championship, with relegation from the top group, and promotion from a second tier, brings other nations into it and, at the moment, risks a Wales or Italy or Scotland dropping down. So I'm a fan of the idea.

That's a paddlin'.

Certainly not any surprise that Wolves are ahead in Southampton. Southampton are in the running to be one of the worst ever sides in the Premier League's history. Even we (somewhat squeakily) beat them there. 9 points adrift is fair reward for our form over the last three months.

Liverpool had their chances, but they were clinging on for dear life at the end of ET. PSG deserved it and will give anyone a hell of a game.

Bye then

Nuñez really is largely a waste of space, aint he?

All PSG. If Liverpool make it to penalties, I reckon Darwin Nuñez scuffs it, to break Scouse hearts.

I made this joke last time we played them, but if they beat us again, they get to keep us.

At least with a 7pm Sunday kick off we can all enjoy a weekend before this game spoils it. Man United are there for the taking, but we are so utterly abject of late, that I would snap your hand off for a nil-nil with loud booing from the crowd and the pundits calling us a disgrace to the league.

Ok, we need a poll thread, which comes first Goal Clean Sheet @mod hero inside someone

Was waiting to see if this thread would be posted before "When will we next get a clean sheet?"

Not unsurprising. A resilient first half, a little hope builds, then a nothing goal deflates us. Really, really don't like Chelsea, whose players dived, appealed everything, surrounded the ref to intimidate him and wasted time. Ah well.

Ah Dennis Wise and that amazing thing on his head.

Partick Thistle.

Of course, Liverpool, of course...

Pretty scathing headline in The Times:

We'll shit 'em. By which I mean Stanford Bridge is set for a display of ordure. As per, we'll keep a clean sheet at the wrong end, Lurch and Sideshow will put on another masterclass, while the team jogs, plays it backwards a lot and jumps out of the way of crosses.

If you were were a West Ham fan you would be: a) Glad that there's dross going down to keep you in the division and b) Not too fussed about watching the "highlights" of that game, as most of the commentary was about just how utterly abject Leucester City were / are