How do you cope with being pissed off with yourself?

[foxfanazer]

17 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Time heals all wounds.

 

If you're gregarious like me and you can find the right angle, turn it into a hilarious anecdote to be used at just the right time.

 

You really can't change the past so let the anger settle in your own way.

 

As it happens I had a similar situation - I totalled a rental car in Botswana some years ago (and very nearly died - that car was ****ed), and although it cost me a lot of money and ****ed up my back for life I'm sort of glad it happened because it's a unique experience that I'll hopefully not manage to do again.

 

So really the main lesson is - don't drive at night in Botswana.

 

Sound advice right there

[Buce]

23 minutes ago, Col city fan said:

Shut up Buce!

 

 

22 minutes ago, Col city fan said:

I’m afraid I’m the same.

 

Try growing a pair, you big girl. 

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, Captain... said:

 

The first bit is obvious but how quickly do you get from being initially pissed off to acceptance of the things you can do nothing about. It didn’t matter how many times I told myself there is nothing I can do about it over and over I still couldn’t shake my mood for a few hours. 

 

 

No wonder you couldn't shake your mood for a few hours if you kept telling yourself over and over.

 

"What we focus on is what we get"

 

So change your focus. Distract yourself and focus on something different instead.

 

Do something else to take your mind of it. This short video on our brain's RAS (reticular activating system) explains it simply...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCnfAzAIhVw

Edited 2 June 2018 by Izzy Muzzett

[winteriscoming]

Not great at it I try and blame someone else even though I know it's my fault. Takes me a while to calm down and eventually I realize it could be worse I could be a cov fan!!!! 

[Captain...]

2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

No wonder you couldn't shake your mood for a few hours if you kept telling yourself over and over.

 

"What we focus on is what we get"

 

So change your focus. Distract yourself and focus on something different instead.

 

Do something else to take your mind of it. This short video on our brain's RAS (reticular activating system) explains it simply...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCnfAzAIhVw

 

So you’re saying I shouldn’t dwell on it and start threads on foxestalk to remind me about it forever?

 

The biggest problem is that it isn’t resolved yet as I have to take the car back and deal with the hire company and having to pay for it. 

 

If it was my car I probably would have got over it quicker. Now I have to have this hanging over me untilI take the car back.

[Buce]

2 minutes ago, Captain... said:

So you’re saying I shouldn’t dwell on it and start threads on foxestalk to remind me about it forever?

 

The biggest problem is that it isn’t resolved yet as I have to take the car back and deal with the hire company and having to pay for it. 

 

If it was my car I probably would have got over it quicker. Now I have to have this hanging over me untilI take the car back.

 

Izzy is right.

 

Dwelling on it will change nothing that has happened; all it will do is make you feel bad and spoil the here and now. And worrying about taking the car back doesn't change the facts either. Deal with that shit when you have to, not now.

[stix]

I tend to take it out on others around me until the wife tells me to get a grip and stop being such a div. 

[Izzy]

11 minutes ago, Captain... said:

So you’re saying I shouldn’t dwell on it and start threads on foxestalk to remind me about it forever?

 

The biggest problem is that it isn’t resolved yet as I have to take the car back and deal with the hire company and having to pay for it. 

 

If it was my car I probably would have got over it quicker. Now I have to have this hanging over me untilI take the car back.

It’s only hanging over you because it’s in your conscious awareness. And making a thread about it on here is a good way of keeping it in your conscious awareness 

 

No doubt you’ll have plenty of thinking about it until you take the car back but you don’t need to pay conscious attention to those thoughts. Otherwise we can end up ‘thinking about our thinking’ and we can get caught up in “What if..?” scenarios in our head and start catastrophising - and then we feel even more stressed/angry etc.

 

So just notice those thoughts when they appear but then ignore them and change your focus to something else.

 

In other words if you stew/dwell on it then you’re bound to feel shit about it as Buce says.

[ScouseFox]

can’t even remember the last time i was pissed off. shit happens, who cares. not me. 

[Guest the fox]

5 minutes ago, ScouseFox said:

can’t even remember the last time i was pissed off. shit happens, who cares. not me. 

I can't remember how many times I've said this and (thought) I believed it. But things just bottle up inside you until you can't take it anymore. I would even have minor panic attacks and my hands start shaking and my chest tightens. I keep telling myself it's ok and every bad thing that happened to me is just life. It's just the prosses of going through what everyone else is going through. I'm usually all smiles and laughs but sometimes you just wish for a break. 

[Guest Col city fan]

5 hours ago, Buce said:

 

 

Try growing a pair, you big girl. 

[Strokes]

I used to sulk terribly and dwell on things for weeks but after speaking to a councillor I’ve learned to laugh at myself and not take things so seriously. No point in enforcing negative emotions for no good reason, non of us are perfect and those that appear to be are usually the most unhappy.

[shailen_patel4]

Light a cigarette up and I’m all sorted,not the best way but it helps me 

[Max Wall]

On 02/06/2018 at 15:56, Izzy Muzzett said:

No wonder you couldn't shake your mood for a few hours if you kept telling yourself over and over.

 

"What we focus on is what we get"

 

So change your focus. Distract yourself and focus on something different instead.

 

Do something else to take your mind of it. This short video on our brain's RAS (reticular activating system) explains it simply...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCnfAzAIhVw

 

I focused on Michelle Keegan for much longer than I should have. Didn't work for me.

[Max Wall]

On 02/06/2018 at 20:17, ScouseFox said:

can’t even remember the last time i was pissed off. shit happens, who cares. not me. 

I heard through the grapevine that you were livid during Wales 2016 Euro finals campaign 

Edited 2 August 2018 by Max Wall

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

Bang my forehead on the table, as a rule.

[ozleicester]

Like almost all, I cant stop doing it, but...

 

I try to ask myself, will i......... think, be worried, or be affected by this event in 1 years time?

 

In the past ive found myself getting upset at myself or others over really insignificant things... the last time we re were back in the UK (xmas 2015 ), I, or the car hire company, buggered up my booking, so i hopped off the 28  hour flight, stood in the queue at the car place for 10 minutes to be told the car i had booked was going to cost me an extra 200 pounds, I got shitty, grumbled, shouted, stomped and checked other hire car options online and ended up paying the extra and spending the first day totally pissed at myself and the situation.

 

Looking back, 2.5 years later and its meaningless, the $ were spent i dont miss them now and i had a shitty start to my (League winning) holiday. 

 

Whats that line ... (ignore the God bit).....

God, grant me  develop the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference

 

oh Ive just seen that this thread is just making it worse for you.. and now ive replied months later... sorry about that

 

Edited 16 August 2018 by ozleicester