How do you cope with being pissed off with yourself?

[Captain...]

Simple question:

 

So today I reversed my hire car into a large invisible stone and damaged the car. The cost will almost definitely be the full £1000 excess. 

 

This is the start of what was supposed to be a relaxing long weekend our first holiday in ages. I’ve spent the first hour after getting here in a right monosyllabic foul mood, despite my girlfriend’s best efforts to cheer me up. Even though I know there is nothing I can do about it I couldn’t put it out my head and was just in a right mard. In the process I managed to blame the hire company, they upgraded me to massive **** off hyundai, the Airbnb place for their shit directions that meant I had to turn around down a farm track, my girlfriend for not automatically jumping out the car to guide me, the dogs which appeared menacingly to distract me.

 

So I sulked for 2 hours and now I’m over it. I’m just annoyed that I ruined the first few hours of our holiday.

 

So how do you react when you’re pissed off with yourself?

[Dr The Singh]

Never happened

[Guest the fox]

I always ask my self, "can I change the past?". No one can. I did and said somethings that kept me down for hours just in my bed mumbling to myself "why am I so stupid to do such things?". It made me feel like crap so the only thing I keep telling myself to feel better is "Can I change the past?".

 

What happened, happened. So why will I let the misfortune of the past ruin my present and future?

Edited 1 June 2018 by the fox

[Carl the Llama]

Masturbate.

[Guest Kopfkino]

 

 

[Izzy]

 Good thread...

 

Well, I've learnt over the years that it's not the 'event' that pisses me off, it's my thinking about the event and it all depends on my mood/state of mind at the time of the event.

 

If I'm stressed/anxious/feeling low and something 'bad' happens, then I'm likely to get angry/sulk/blame etc. and it can last for a while. But if I'm feeling happy/relaxed/chilled etc. and the exact same 'bad' thing happens, I'm much more likely to laugh it off, not take it too seriously and mover on quicker.

 

It's like when someone cuts us up when we're driving. Sometimes we go ape shit and get road rage and sometimes we just laugh it off and let it go. Same external event but two different reactions and all dependent on our thinking and emotional state at the time. 

 

We're all making it up differently - sometimes good and sometimes bad. 

[urban.spaceman]

Time heals all wounds.

 

If you're gregarious like me and you can find the right angle, turn it into a hilarious anecdote to be used at just the right time.

 

You really can't change the past so let the anger settle in your own way.

 

As it happens I had a similar situation - I totalled a rental car in Botswana some years ago (and very nearly died - that car was ****ed), and although it cost me a lot of money and ****ed up my back for life I'm sort of glad it happened because it's a unique experience that I'll hopefully not manage to do again.

 

So really the main lesson is - don't drive at night in Botswana.

 

[Raw Dykes]

As people have said - you can't change the past. You have to try to focus on what you can do now to make yourself feel better. Maybe you can start planning an even better holiday or something.

 

It's easier said than done, but it is in your control to think positively and forget all the shite stuff. You're annoyed because you're understandably focussing on your mistake, but you can get your mind into a better place - think about how you're on holiday, you have a girlfriend, and now you have a (what I'm sure you'll see one day is a) funny story.

[TiffToff88]

A few glasses of whiskey and I forget what I was pissed off about!

[Foxhateram]

Yup I get annoyed with myself a lot. Even get to the point like Vardes in the gif above.

 

Recently I've had 4 interviews and in everyone I've said something that was just utter trash which has cost me the job. I go over it over and over. Then talk myself into a frenzy of how I'm not ready for promotion. 

 

Oh wait you said how to deal with it...... nope I clearly don't deal with it well. Haha

[Stadt]

Exercise

[Jattdogg]

3 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

A few glasses of whiskey and I forget what I was pissed off about!

Instead you worry  more about what you pissed on after one too many whiskeys

 

7 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

Masturbate.

Solves everything.

[stripeyfox]

Hire companies are real crooks when it comes to insurance. They give you a massive excess and then try and sell you an additional premium to reduce the excess but it is quite expensive. 

 

However, worth knowing for next time is that you can buy car hire excess premium insurance online for a fraction of the cost that Enterprise or whoever will charge you. I got a week's worth of cover for about £21.

 

I appreciate this probably doesn't help you feel better though.. 

[SouthStandUpperTier]

Vent on FoxesTalk.

[MC Prussian]

I think it passes and/or gets less infuriating with time and the older you get.

 

It's the acceptance of the realization that you can't change anything what has happened, only what lies ahead.

 

I mean, I could regret things I've done in the past, even though I'd say I've had a pretty decent and issue-free life so far. But shit happens.

Besides, it's ok to be pissed off about yourself in the heat of the moment. Just don't dwell on it for too long.

Edited 2 June 2018 by MC Prussian

[Buce]

 

I just accept it for what it is and move on.

 

We learn more from our mistakes than our successes.

[Captain...]

1 hour ago, Buce said:

 

I just accept it for what it is and move on.

 

We learn more from our mistakes than our successes.

 

The first bit is obvious but how quickly do you get from being initially pissed off to acceptance of the things you can do nothing about. It didn’t matter how many times I told myself there is nothing I can do about it over and over I still couldn’t shake my mood for a few hours. 

 

 

[Dr The Singh]

2 hours ago, Buce said:

 

I just accept it for what it is and move on.

 

We learn more from our mistakes than our successes.

Sure, Buce, sure!!

[Buce]

24 minutes ago, Captain... said:

 

The first bit is obvious but how quickly do you get from being initially pissed off to acceptance of the things you can do nothing about. It didn’t matter how many times I told myself there is nothing I can do about it over and over I still couldn’t shake my mood for a few hours. 

 

 

 

Pretty much straight away.

 

I know it's a cliché, but there really is no use crying over spilt milk, it's just a complete waste of emotional energy.

[Raj]

Great thread (For a change on foxestalk!!)

 

Most wrong with sulking,blaming everyone else,having a right old spitting the dummy out of the pram episode...and THEN contemplate....

Just think it could have been ALOT worse...there's always a worse off person/situation

[foxfanazer]

I’m not good with it. I overthink things and sulk like a bitch 

[stripeyfox]

17 hours ago, Captain... said:

Simple question:

 

So today I reversed my hire car into a large invisible stone and damaged the car. The cost will almost definitely be the full £1000 excess. 

 

This is the start of what was supposed to be a relaxing long weekend our first holiday in ages. I’ve spent the first hour after getting here in a right monosyllabic foul mood, despite my girlfriend’s best efforts to cheer me up. Even though I know there is nothing I can do about it I couldn’t put it out my head and was just in a right mard. In the process I managed to blame the hire company, they upgraded me to massive **** off hyundai, the Airbnb place for their shit directions that meant I had to turn around down a farm track, my girlfriend for not automatically jumping out the car to guide me, the dogs which appeared menacingly to distract me.

 

So I sulked for 2 hours and now I’m over it. I’m just annoyed that I ruined the first few hours of our holiday.

 

So how do you react when you’re pissed off with yourself?

Hardly your fault then mate....

[AlloverthefloorYesNdidi]

I like to take it out on the people around me. Try to attach blame to them even if you have to take a circuitous logical route to justify it. Generally be miserable and ratty. Remember - its not you who is the problem, its them.

 

Throw your toys out of the pram at every opportunity to deter others from pointing out your responsibility. 

 

I call this method The Riyad

 

 

[Guest Col city fan]

4 hours ago, Buce said:

 

I just accept it for what it is and move on.

 

We learn more from our mistakes than our successes.

Shut up Buce!

 

[Guest Col city fan]

34 minutes ago, foxfanazer said:

I’m not good with it. I overthink things and sulk like a bitch 

I’m afraid I’m the same.