The joke thread

[Grebfromgrebland]

1 hour ago, The Bear said:

That joke makes zero sense

You probably got stuck on the glue

[Sampson]

7 minutes ago, Grebfromgrebland said:

You probably got stuck on the glue

The glue is indeed where everyone gets stuck.

[Izzy]

Put all my old dogging gear up for sale on eBay yesterday.

 

No bids yet, but I've got 12 people watching.

[Sampson]

Does anyone remember that joke I told about the chiropractor?

 

It was about a week back.

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, Sampson said:

Does anyone remember that joke I told about the chiropractor?

 

It was about a week back.

I have a similar joke, but it's too filthy. 

[Mister Singh]

On 19/06/2025 at 11:50, Sampson said:

Does anyone remember that joke I told about the chiropractor?

 

It was about a week back.

That reminds me, I have kept old copies of the chiropractor weekly magazines. I have a lot of back issues.

[Parafox]

Why was I the only naked person at last weeks gender reveal party?

 

 

[Trav Le Bleu]

Does anyone else think that overweight people should be accepted into the wider community?

[Trav Le Bleu]

To kill a French vampire you must hammer a baguette though its heart. Which sounds simple, but is actually quite painstaking.

[Parafox]

34 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

To kill a French vampire you must hammer a baguette though its heart. Which sounds simple, but is actually quite painstaking.

 

That's going to go over so many people's heads on here.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Parafox said:

 

That's going to go over so many people's heads on here.

D'accord.

[ROB-THE-BLUE]

[Trav Le Bleu]

Joey Tempest (lead singer of Europe) was sorting out his LP collection, giving each one a number from highest to lowest.

 

It was the vinyl countdown.

[spacemunky]

7 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Joey Tempest (lead singer of Europe) was sorting out his LP collection, giving each one a number from highest to lowest.

 

It was the vinyl countdown.

I'm not going to laugh at that, but it is funny how if you hadn't put "lead singer of Europe" in there, I'd have no idea who that was.

 

Also, why were they called Europe? Weren't they from Sweden or Norway? Why not go with that or Scandinavia? Might as well called themselves Earth.

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, spacemunky said:

I'm not going to laugh at that, but it is funny how if you hadn't put "lead singer of Europe" in there, I'd have no idea who that was.

 

Also, why were they called Europe? Weren't they from Sweden or Norway? Why not go with that or Scandinavia? Might as well called themselves Earth.

Might as well ask why did Asia name themselves Asia? Or America even.

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Might as well ask why did Asia name themselves Asia? Or America even.

I had a terrible sleep and woke up grumpy.

[Trav Le Bleu]

20 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

I had a terrible sleep and woke up grumpy.

And how is the good lady?

[Alf Bentley]

27 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

I had a terrible sleep and woke up grumpy.

 

That'll teach you to sleep with the 7 dwarves.

 

[Nick]

I’ve just read the last two pages and would like a crowd funding page for Dignitass setting up please.

[Alf Bentley]

31 minutes ago, Nick said:

I’ve just read the last two pages and would like a crowd funding page for Dignitass setting up please.

 

Glad to hear you're not going to Dignitas, as they do assisted suicide there.

 

Is Dignitass a twin institution for Brits to confess their folly or Americans to get a kick up the bum?

[MPH]

3 hours ago, Nick said:

I’ve just read the last two pages and would like a crowd funding page for Dignitass setting up please.

 

well that joke died of its own accord..

[MPH]

Just tried to register “ beefstew” as my new password but it got rejected!!

 

Apparently it’s not strogonoff…

[Nick]

10 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Glad to hear you're not going to Dignitas, as they do assisted suicide there.

 

Is Dignitass a twin institution for Brits to confess their folly or Americans to get a kick up the bum?

I did wonder when writing if it had a double s!

[Free Falling Foxes]

Sir Geoff Hurst was asked how he thought the England team of '66 would have fared against the Lionesses. 
"I think we'd have won 1-0" he replied. 
"Only 1-0?" questioned the reporter. 
"Yes," said Geoff. "There's only me left now and I'm 83."

[Trav Le Bleu]

Did you hear that @Vacamion washed his kilt?

 

Afterwards he couldn't do a fling with it.