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James.

Amusing News Stories

By James., in General Chat

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  • 4 weeks later...
Zingari

Zingari

Posted
Posted (edited)

pull up to the bumper baby :D

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7996815.stm

those crazy Norwegians

High-speed sex costly in Norway

A man faces a hefty fine and a driving ban after being caught having sex with his girlfriend while speeding on a motorway in Norway, police have said.

Officers initially trailed the couple's car after noticing it was swerving from side to side and travelling at 33km/h (20mph) over the road's speed limit.

But they soon realised the erratic driving was due to the woman "sitting on the man's lap", a spokesman said.

After filming the exploit for evidence, they pulled them over at a rest area.

The 28-year-old man's punishment will be decided within the next week, but police said he was likely to face a fine of several thousand Norwegian kroner and a lengthy driving ban.

"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know," Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerud Police District, told the AFP news agency.

"[The vehicle] was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," he added.

"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way."

Despite her prominent role in the incident, the 21-year-old woman was permitted by police to drive her lover home.

Edited by Zingari
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  • 2 weeks later...
Fox You Forest

Fox You Forest

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Posted

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/8146782.stm

Olympic hopeful opens NZ brothel

An Olympic hopeful from New Zealand has opened a brothel in a bid to raise cash for a tilt at taekwondo glory in 2012.

Logan Campbell, 23, competed at Beijing in 2008, but has now opened a 14-room "gentleman's club" after becoming tired of seeking funding from his parents.

New Zealand decriminalised prostitution six years ago, and brothels are allowed to operate with few restrictions.

But NZ Olympic officials say Campbell's business venture may count against him when choosing a team for London 2012.

"Selection takes into account not just performance but also the athlete's ability to serve as an example to the youth of the country," Team NZ funding manager John Schofield told the country's Sunday Star Times newspaper.

Logan Campbell says he began looking for alternative ways of raising Olympic funding when he realised how difficult it was proving to raise adequate cash to support his training towards a place at the London Olympics.

Mum was hesitant but she met the girls, a couple came over to her house and she was sweet as

Competing in Beijing a year ago, Campbell lost to a Taiwanese fighter, Sung Yu-Chi, who eventually won a bronze medal.

Speaking to the Sunday Star Times, Campbell noted that his opponent was the equivalent of a "movie star" in his homeland.

His own costs leading up to Beijing totalled some NZ$150,000 (£58,000), much of it provided by his hard-working parents, Campbell noted.

To take the financial strain from his parents Campbell has gone into partnership with a Hugo Philiips, 20-year-old accountancy graduate, to set up what the pair insist is a "high-class" escort agency.

He hopes to take a couple of years off to work full-time on the new venture, before returning to training in 2011 with a NZ$300,000 Olympic kitty.

It's proactive at least. lol

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Zingari

Zingari

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Posted

German brothel offers discounts to cyclists

A Berlin brothel has come up with a novel way to offset the impact of the global economic crisis and target a new group of customers at the same time - offering a discount to patrons who arrive on bicycles.

Published: 12:59AM BST 14 Jul 2009

"The recession has hit our industry hard," said Thomas Goetz, owner of the Maison d'envie brothel.

"Obviously we hope that the discount will attract more people," he added. "It's good for business, it's good for the environment - and it's good for the girls."

Customers who arrive on bicycle or who can prove they took public transportation get a 5-euro ($7) discount from the usual 70-euro ($100) fee for 45 minute sessions, Mr Goetz said. He said the environmentally friendly offer was working a charm.

"We have around 3-5 new customers coming in daily to take advantage of the discount," he said, adding the green rebate has helped alleviate traffic and parking congestion in the neighbourhood.

Germany is one of the few countries in the world where prostitution is legal. It has about 400,000 prostitutes who, since 2002, have been allowed to enter formal labour contracts.

.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics...o-cyclists.html

what if you ain't got the energy to pedal home again :unsure:

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Webbo

Webbo

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8156695.stm

A Coventry City football player has been ordered to pay £1,600 after rubbish including his personal documents was dumped in a country lane.

Freddy Eastwood, 25, of Kidderminster, Worcestershire, admitted paying someone to dispose of his waste without them having an environmental permit.

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Zingari

Zingari

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Couple lose despite backing every greyhound

A married couple took almost £47,000 in cash to back every dog at a greyhound track but what they thought to be a foolproof strategy turned out to have a crucial flaw.

The unnamed couple placed £46,656 in bets to cover every possible placing of six dogs in six races Photo: PA

The pair, in their 50s, were hoping to scoop a British record breaking greyhound jackpot of £101,110.39p at Sheffield's Owlerton Stadium.

They travelled hundreds of miles from the south coast of England with their stake money and what they believed to be a fail-safe plan.

The unnamed punters placed £46,656 in bets to cover every possible placing of six dogs in six races, using cash they brought in a Tesco carrier bag.

But the couple had not bargained on two other ticketholders backing all six winners and the jackpot being split three ways. It meant that their share of £33,703.46 left them with a net loss of around £13,000.

John Gilburn, Owlerton's managing director, said: "The couple arrived at the track before racing saying they wanted to play all the permutations on the jackpot and produced a Tesco carrier bag stuffed full of money.

"We took them into the cash room and it took us an hour to complete the count. I don't know if they were part of a syndicate or what, but when they came for their money they were very, very philosophical about the situation."

One of the jackpot winners was a local punter who also wished to remain anonymous and the other an internet gambler known as the Scoop6 Squirrel.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/585...-greyhound.html

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Zingari

Zingari

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Posted

Ipswich woman trapped in toilet for a week

A WOMAN has been rescued after she spent a week trapped in her toilet.

The 67-year-old was taken to hospital suffering from dehydration after her ordeal in Ipswich, an eastern Australian city.

The woman, who has not been named, fell in the early hours and somehow became trapped between the toilet bowl and the inward-opening door.

Finally this Sunday a neighbour heard her cries for help and alerted the emergency services. Firefighters rescued the woman by removing the door.

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/st...&tCategory=

shouldn't laugh really , but ... :P

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peterborofox

peterborofox

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Ipswich woman trapped in toilet for a week

A WOMAN has been rescued after she spent a week trapped in her toilet.

The 67-year-old was taken to hospital suffering from dehydration after her ordeal in Ipswich, an eastern Australian city.

The woman, who has not been named, fell in the early hours and somehow became trapped between the toilet bowl and the inward-opening door.

Finally this Sunday a neighbour heard her cries for help and alerted the emergency services. Firefighters rescued the woman by removing the door.

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/st...&tCategory=

shouldn't laugh really , but ... :P

:giggle:

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Ultra

Ultra

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Posted
Couple lose despite backing every greyhound

A married couple took almost £47,000 in cash to back every dog at a greyhound track but what they thought to be a foolproof strategy turned out to have a crucial flaw.

The unnamed couple placed £46,656 in bets to cover every possible placing of six dogs in six races Photo: PA

The pair, in their 50s, were hoping to scoop a British record breaking greyhound jackpot of £101,110.39p at Sheffield's Owlerton Stadium.

They travelled hundreds of miles from the south coast of England with their stake money and what they believed to be a fail-safe plan.

The unnamed punters placed £46,656 in bets to cover every possible placing of six dogs in six races, using cash they brought in a Tesco carrier bag.

But the couple had not bargained on two other ticketholders backing all six winners and the jackpot being split three ways. It meant that their share of £33,703.46 left them with a net loss of around £13,000.

John Gilburn, Owlerton's managing director, said: "The couple arrived at the track before racing saying they wanted to play all the permutations on the jackpot and produced a Tesco carrier bag stuffed full of money.

"We took them into the cash room and it took us an hour to complete the count. I don't know if they were part of a syndicate or what, but when they came for their money they were very, very philosophical about the situation."

One of the jackpot winners was a local punter who also wished to remain anonymous and the other an internet gambler known as the Scoop6 Squirrel.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/585...-greyhound.html

:doh: :laugh:

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Guest

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Posted
Ipswich woman trapped in toilet for a week

A WOMAN has been rescued after she spent a week trapped in her toilet.

The 67-year-old was taken to hospital suffering from dehydration after her ordeal in Ipswich, an eastern Australian city.

The woman, who has not been named, fell in the early hours and somehow became trapped between the toilet bowl and the inward-opening door.

Finally this Sunday a neighbour heard her cries for help and alerted the emergency services. Firefighters rescued the woman by removing the door.

http://www.eadt.co.uk/content/eadt/news/st...&tCategory=

shouldn't laugh really , but ... :P

Made me think of this....

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Zingari

Zingari

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Posted

It's a bit old this story but , anyway ;

Python puts squeeze on Thai biker

A Thai man is unconscious after almost being squeezed to death by a four-metre python he was carrying on a motorbike.

Samrauy Phonlerk, a local villager, had volunteered to take the snake to a national park after it was found in Pracinburi town, east of the capital Bangkok.

A friend agreed to drive him there on his motorcycle, but as they were setting off the friend noticed that the snake appeared to have escaped from a bag and to be strangling Samruay.

The friend abandoned the motorcycle at a busy intersection and ran for help.

Emergency workers who came to the scene found the python tightly coiled around its victim.

More than a dozen people beat the snake with sticks for over 20 minutes before it relented.

"Samrauy lost a lot of blood because he was bitten and constricted, but he came out of the intensive care unit this morning, although he is still unconscious," a police spokesman said.

The python was later released into the jungle.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3346625.stm

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l444ry

l444ry

Posted
Posted

Giant Australian Squid Has Dandruff.

A giant squid recently washed up on an Australian beach was found to have had dandruff. Marine biologist Dr. Spongebloke Trianglepants was asked how could scientists possibly know such a thing and he said, "Just look at his Head and Shoulders lying there on the beach next to him. What further evidence do you need?"

Oddly enough it has also been found that a lot of terrorists who blow themselves up also have dandruff problems because their Head and Shoulders are also found near the site where they explode.

The Obama/Brown administrations will now order Homeland Security to stop, detain, and torture any person found with Head and Shoulders, as this is prima facie evidence which calls for drastic action. Attorney General Ginzalaez was asked about this issue and he could only scratch his head in response and appeared like a deer frozen in the headlights of a car. By the same token many deer killed in highway accidents also may have dandruff problems because their Head and Shoulders are often found near the accident scene.

Ginzalez has issued an order to the Department of the Interior to instruct all of their Game Wardens to check deer within their jurisdictions and proceed accordingly.

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Zingari

Zingari

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Posted

Former cabinet minister Hazel Blears' car has been attacked while she was out canvassing voters.

Vandals slashed the tyres of the Labour MP for Salford's Citroen Xsara Picasso and smashed its windscreen.

The ex-communities secretary said she did not think her car had been targeted because of who she was and called the attack "pathetic and cowardly".

The MP recently survived an attempt to deselect her over revelations involving her parliamentary expenses.

Ms Blears said did not believe this was linked to the attack on her car, which was first revealed by the Manchester Evening News newspaper.

'Gang of kids'

She told the BBC: "This was an act of anti-social behaviour by some youths, the same kind of anti-social behaviour unfortunately many of my constituents have to put up with.

"I was canvassing nearby at the time and returned to my car to find the damage.

"I had earlier seen a gang of kids hanging around the car. This was pathetic and cowardly."

A Greater Manchester Police spokesman said: "At about 6.25pm on Sunday police in Salford were called to Cemetery Road, Weaste, following a report that a car had been damaged.

"Between 5pm and 6.15pm, offenders had smashed the windscreen of a parked grey Citroen Xsara Picasso and slashed all four tyres.

"No-one was injured in the incident and officers are now investigating."

Earlier this year Ms Blears, a former Labour Party chairman and Home Office minister, decided to repay £13,000 after it emerged she had not paid capital gains tax on the sale of a property.

Although her actions had been within the MP expenses rules, they were described as "totally unacceptable" by the prime minister.

She was later criticised for resigning from the cabinet days before voters went to the polls in the European and local elections, although she subsequently said she "enormously" regretted the timing of her departure.

In June, she defeated a no-confidence motion in a vote by her constituency Labour association.

Were you in the area when the incident happened?

Did you see anything?

Please send us your comments using the form at the bottom. keep it to yourself and make them realise how the rest of us have to live

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8192919.stm

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