The People's Hero Posted 7 October 2008 Author Posted 7 October 2008 I am indeed. Just about anyway. She tried to break up with me the other day because i dont love her or something. Bloody women.Im still working on your present by the way. Women are always trying to break up with people, especially their partners. Best thing to do is ignore them and give them something to take their mind off of it, like a big pile of ironing. Try it.
General Smuts Posted 7 October 2008 Posted 7 October 2008 Women are always trying to break up with people, especially their partners.Best thing to do is ignore them and give them something to take their mind off of it, like a big pile of ironing. Try it. If i wasn't so ill id be on that. Maybe i can convinve her that ive got a terminal disease which can only be cured with sexy times?
The People's Hero Posted 10 October 2008 Author Posted 10 October 2008 We need our Peuts update. What's our long haired giraffe bothering loveable emo up to these days?
General Smuts Posted 10 October 2008 Posted 10 October 2008 We need our Peuts update.What's our long haired giraffe bothering loveable emo up to these days? Today i went back to work, coughing and spluttering the whole way. I nearly collapsed in a shaking fit so they let me go to lunch early. Everyones away ill so i felt as i only have the flu i should come in really. 3 days out with flu is fooking pathetic. i've had it for 4 days and 2 days at work 2 days at home seems fair enough. Im currently rocking the lemsip (10p for the hot water) that taste a lot like cat piss. I had some soup yesterday that tasted like babysick. Its not been that great a week. Dear Diary, when will the worlds pain end?
The People's Hero Posted 10 October 2008 Author Posted 10 October 2008 I love how you always manage to end it on a hilarious combination of twee and emo.
Finnegan Posted 10 October 2008 Posted 10 October 2008 I love how you always manage to end it on a hilarious combination of twee and emo. And how he's the first to bump his own thread.
The People's Hero Posted 10 October 2008 Author Posted 10 October 2008 If i wasn't so ill id be on that.Maybe i can convinve her that ive got a terminal disease which can only be cured with sexy times? Did this work? If so I'm gonna go see your girlfriend tonight and pretend I've got TB.
Tabou Posted 10 October 2008 Posted 10 October 2008 Did this work?If so I'm gonna go see your girlfriend tonight and pretend I've got TB. I don't think this will work. "Hi, I have HiV, and sex is the only cure. Fancy a shag?"
Dr The Singh Posted 10 October 2008 Posted 10 October 2008 Women are always trying to break up with people, especially their partners.Best thing to do is ignore them and give them something to take their mind off of it, like a big pile of ironing. Try it. I just gave Mrs Singh, 3 sprogs, she can never leave me now, those srogs need there dad! MUHaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaaa!! PS - Mrs Singh has just left me!!
General Smuts Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 I cannot begin to describe the weirdness of my bus journey home. It was in all honesty the kind of thing that only happens to me. Bu normally after the pub. Not after work. Imagine Victor Meldrew crossed with Graham Norton and Shane McGowan with all his worldy goods in a tescos bag for life on his lap and a story to tell. This man sits next to me on the bus and repeatedly nudges me with his tin of Special Brew until i take off my iPod headphones and politely humour him. An hour from home. This pissed up old gay tramp of a man continues to tell me his life story (just kicked out of his YMCA, loves the cock) when his mam gets on the bus. Instead of pissing off and sitting with her he continues to blather on at me. Once hes finished his can of Special Brew then things get even fooking weirder. Hes now groping about telling me he loves me holding my hand .. and i am fooking trapped at least half hour from home on a bus with this fooking nutter with his mam seperated by an aisle. When i could finally escape his goodbye 'You will stay in touch wont ya' *spanks arse*. My life is odd. And im not sure i like it ...
filbertway Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 I cannot begin to describe the weirdness of my bus journey home. It was in all honesty the kind of thing that only happens to me. Bu normally after the pub. Not after work.Imagine Victor Meldrew crossed with Graham Norton and Shane McGowan with all his worldy goods in a tescos bag for life on his lap and a story to tell. This man sits next to me on the bus and repeatedly nudges me with his tin of Special Brew until i take off my iPod headphones and politely humour him. An hour from home. This pissed up old gay tramp of a man continues to tell me his life story (just kicked out of his YMCA, loves the cock) when his mam gets on the bus. Instead of pissing off and sitting with her he continues to blather on at me. Once hes finished his can of Special Brew then things get even fooking weirder. Hes now groping about telling me he loves me holding my hand .. and i am fooking trapped at least half hour from home on a bus with this fooking nutter with his mam seperated by an aisle. When i could finally escape his goodbye 'You will stay in touch wont ya' *spanks arse*. My life is odd. And im not sure i like it ... Quality I've had a few encounters on the bus with pissed up middle aged men begging me to go for a pint with them but you win
The Reverend Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 I cannot begin to describe the weirdness of my bus journey home. It was in all honesty the kind of thing that only happens to me. Bu normally after the pub. Not after work.Imagine Victor Meldrew crossed with Graham Norton and Shane McGowan with all his worldy goods in a tescos bag for life on his lap and a story to tell. This man sits next to me on the bus and repeatedly nudges me with his tin of Special Brew until i take off my iPod headphones and politely humour him. An hour from home. This pissed up old gay tramp of a man continues to tell me his life story (just kicked out of his YMCA, loves the cock) when his mam gets on the bus. Instead of pissing off and sitting with her he continues to blather on at me. Once hes finished his can of Special Brew then things get even fooking weirder. Hes now groping about telling me he loves me holding my hand .. and i am fooking trapped at least half hour from home on a bus with this fooking nutter with his mam seperated by an aisle. When i could finally escape his goodbye 'You will stay in touch wont ya' *spanks arse*. My life is odd. And im not sure i like it ... That is a great story. Serves you right for using pubic transport. lol
BigGibbo Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 That is a great story.Serves you right for using pubic transport. lol Whats this? Sounds messy!
The Reverend Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 Whats this? Sounds messy! It actually was intentional
BigGibbo Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 It actually was intentional I call them peasant wagons & would agree that it serves him right for using them!
Samilktray Posted 11 October 2008 Posted 11 October 2008 I cannot begin to describe the weirdness of my bus journey home. It was in all honesty the kind of thing that only happens to me. Bu normally after the pub. Not after work.Imagine Victor Meldrew crossed with Graham Norton and Shane McGowan with all his worldy goods in a tescos bag for life on his lap and a story to tell. This man sits next to me on the bus and repeatedly nudges me with his tin of Special Brew until i take off my iPod headphones and politely humour him. An hour from home. This pissed up old gay tramp of a man continues to tell me his life story (just kicked out of his YMCA, loves the cock) when his mam gets on the bus. Instead of pissing off and sitting with her he continues to blather on at me. Once hes finished his can of Special Brew then things get even fooking weirder. Hes now groping about telling me he loves me holding my hand .. and i am fooking trapped at least half hour from home on a bus with this fooking nutter with his mam seperated by an aisle. When i could finally escape his goodbye 'You will stay in touch wont ya' *spanks arse*. My life is odd. And im not sure i like it ... The more I read your posts the more I love you.
The People's Hero Posted 12 October 2008 Author Posted 12 October 2008 We should make your life in to a movie - and get big bird out of Sesame Street to direct it.
Finnegan Posted 12 October 2008 Posted 12 October 2008 I cannot begin to describe the weirdness of my bus journey home. It was in all honesty the kind of thing that only happens to me. Bu normally after the pub. Not after work.Imagine Victor Meldrew crossed with Graham Norton and Shane McGowan with all his worldy goods in a tescos bag for life on his lap and a story to tell. This man sits next to me on the bus and repeatedly nudges me with his tin of Special Brew until i take off my iPod headphones and politely humour him. An hour from home. This pissed up old gay tramp of a man continues to tell me his life story (just kicked out of his YMCA, loves the cock) when his mam gets on the bus. Instead of pissing off and sitting with her he continues to blather on at me. Once hes finished his can of Special Brew then things get even fooking weirder. Hes now groping about telling me he loves me holding my hand .. and i am fooking trapped at least half hour from home on a bus with this fooking nutter with his mam seperated by an aisle. When i could finally escape his goodbye 'You will stay in touch wont ya' *spanks arse*. My life is odd. And im not sure i like it ... Nothing gay about it, he just thought you were a bird. "None of your fashionable androgyny in his day!"
General Smuts Posted 13 October 2008 Posted 13 October 2008 Update time. Hello there oh fans of the Peut. How are we today? Thats a shame, i'm sure that rash will subside soon, if not i've got a cream that can help. So the weekend then eh. Good times, bad times, sad times, gonad times. Started with a cheeky 2 hr trip to the promised land to meet the love of Katy's life ... and Mablo for a short trip to the FT game where i died on my arse through flem, vomit and sweat for 45 minutes. Enjoyable nonethless. We won (YAY) 6-2 and all was right in the world. Had a quick bath and a cheeky hello to the parents then twas off to the pub for a couple of jars and a laugh at Wilkes' missus. Oh and there was some football on but my team lost. Must Katy ribbing and straw hat wearing ensued and there were photos galore. Good times were had by all. Sundee i went with our lass to meet the inlaws - grandma and grandpa Roos where i bagged myself a big TV (if anyone wants it let me know - its going spare). I nearly broke myself in two trying to carry that big bastard. I also scratched the inlaws table, they did not look happy. I shan't be returning soon. Then i watched TV and went to bed without getting any. Again. I might take the bus home tonight and see if my fella's on it again. Im sure he'll be up for some. Oh dear diary, when will i be famous? The vapid always seem so alone. Just like me.
General Smuts Posted 24 October 2008 Posted 24 October 2008 As requested by the Woolers. It'll have to be quick because life as the UK's Nissan GT-R Representative Administrator is hectic and consumed by work. Yes that's right im big dawg now. They give me free curry and everything. And i got to stroke the exact GT-R that The Stig drove. Yea bitch lick my love length take it all DEEP! Jealous much? HOLLA! Oldham - shits yea thems were some good away day. Cider, Sheffield and pissing in a river in the middle of a mountain. Good times. Great atmosphere and a banging trip. All round quality day out. Im not gan tommorrow though as im on Guest List for a Raveonettes/Courteeners/Displacements/Babyshambles gig in Hoxton tommorrow night. fook me im cool. Im considering a haircut. What do we think readers? Also. I have completed TPH's present and am in negotiations with the post office with regards to sending it. Im sure he'll love it. I hope so. Unrequited love is so emotional ...
Raj Posted 24 October 2008 Posted 24 October 2008 As requested by the Woolers.It'll have to be quick because life as the UK's Nissan GT-R Representative Administrator is hectic and consumed by work. Yes that's right im big dawg now. They give me free curry and everything. And i got to stroke the exact GT-R that The Stig drove. Yea bitch lick my love length take it all DEEP! Jealous much? HOLLA! Oldham - shits yea thems were some good away day. Cider, Sheffield and pissing in a river in the middle of a mountain. Good times. Great atmosphere and a banging trip. All round quality day out. Im not gan tommorrow though as im on Guest List for a Raveonettes/Courteeners/Displacements/Babyshambles gig in Hoxton tommorrow night. fook me im cool. Im considering a haircut. What do we think readers? Also. I have completed TPH's present and am in negotiations with the post office with regards to sending it. Im sure he'll love it. I hope so. Unrequited love is so emotional ... Gay twat!
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