Ultra Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 I don't really give a good f**k what you know or don't know... but I'm gonna torture you anyway
Bert Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 From Van Wilder: Party Liaison: Van's response when asked to do something: "I'd love to help but I have a bamboo oar stuck up my gangees. It's very serious stuff"
Finnegan Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 Is this some white cunts joke that black cunts don't get? 'Cos I ain't fuckin' laughing Nic-o-larse.
Finnegan Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 'Nuff people say they know they can't believe, Jamaica we have a bobsleigh team. We 'ave da one Derice an' da one Junior! Da fasses of da fasses of Jamaican sprinter, Go to Olympics, by for Jamaica!
Leicfox Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 Clerks II Randal Graves: Since when did porch monkey suddenly become a racial slur? Dante Hicks: When ignorant racists started saying it a hundred years ago! Randal Graves: Oh, bullshit! My grandmother used to call me a porch monkey all the time when I was a kid because I'd sit on the porch and stare at my neighbors! Dante Hicks: Despite the fact that your grandmother might've used it as a term of endearment for you, it's still a racial slur! It'd be like your grandmother calling you a little kike! Randal Graves: Oh, it is not. Plus, my grandmother had nothing but the utmost respect for the Jewish community. When I was a kid she told me to always treat the Jewish kids well, or they'd put the sheeny curse on me. Dante Hicks: What the fook, man? Randal Graves: What? Dante Hicks: Sheeny's a racial slur, too! Randal Graves: Oh, it is not. Dante Hicks: Yes, it is! Randal Graves: She never called any Jews 'sheeny', she just used to say sheeny curse a lot. It was cute! Dante Hicks: It wasn't cute! It was racist! Randal Graves: I disagree, man, she was just an old timer, that's the way people talked back then! Didn't mean they were racist... But my grandmother did refer to a broken beer bottle once as a nigger knife... You know, come to think of it, my grandmother was kind of a racist. Dante Hicks: You think? Randal Graves: Well, I-I still don't think porch monkey should be considered a racial term. I mean, I've always used it to describe lazy people, not lazy black people! I think if we really tried, we could re-claim porch monkey, and save it. Dante Hicks: It can't be saved, Randal! The sole purpose for its creation, the only reason it exists in the first place, is to disparage an entire race! And even if it could be saved, you can't save it because you're not black! Randal Graves: Well listen to you! Telling me I can't do something because of the color of my skin! You're the racist! I'm taking it back, you watch! [customers enter] Randal Graves: Hey, what can I get for you, you little porch monkey? [beat] Randal Graves: Its cool, I'm taking it back.
Sparky Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 "We got no food , we got no jobs , OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF " Dumb and Dumber
Raj Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 Sonny: Hey man, how you doin'? Rich...[offers handshake] Sonny: [Richard refuses handshake] Sonny: You ok? Richard: Mmh [nods head] Sonny: You know the lads had this ridiculous idea th... Richard: [Richard interrupts him before he can finish off the sentence] Yeah, it was me. Sonny: Oh it was? Thought so. What are you up to? Richard: Moochin' about. Sonny: Moochin' about? In my house? Richard: Mmh Sonny: Do you always paint men? Like women?... What are you doin' lad? Richard: That's my concern. Sonny: Not with being in my house. Where are you staying? Richard: Motson's farm. Gonna come see me are ya? Sonny: Maybe I will. You're not afraid of me are ya? [Richard smiles & shakes head implying he isn't afraid] Tuff: Why doesn't he just chin him? Big Al: He's weighing him up, he's weighing him up, shut up. Sonny: You're making me very nervous, Richard. Richard: Well you should be. If I were you, i'd get in that ****' car and i'd get out of here man. I'd gather them goonies and get whatever you've got comin' mate... 'cause i'm gonna fooking hit you all. Sonny: I don't like being threatened, Rich'. Richard: I'm not threatening you mate. It's beyond fooking words. I watched over you when you were asleep and I looked at your fooking neck and I was that far away from slicing it. Richard: [Richard opens up his hand right hand and points towards his palm] You're fooking there mate! [Richard clenches his hand] Richard: So get in that car... and fook OFF! Richard: You get to me first! Sonny: I just might. BRILLIANT Cobbo!!! I was just thining about that. Especially ythe bit when he points to the inside of his hand and says"i got you right there"!!! Whats the name of the bastard film again...Dead mans something??? Shoes. My fav is from Indian Epic "Sholay" "Kalia...Kitni gholian hai" "teen Gholian saab" BANG BANG " He he he yeh ve margian Salan"
Uncle Albert Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsiously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Sir I just wanna say thank you . . . You saved my life. Makes me cry everytime.
Stewarmy Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 You're fat, and I'll throw you in the river. Love, Honour and Obey
Lillehamring Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 only cause it's the worst line i have ever heard in a film.... ok, this is the scenario to how i heard it... we were at some universtity film club screening and the first movie was 'made in england' (take your pick of quotes from that), which was excellent, and bizarrely they followed it with food-based-rom-com, 'no reservations', with zeta-jones - we decided to stay just for a laugh... sadly there wasn't much to be had, it is a desperately unfunny film, and the only time i laughed, out loud, really loud, was during the point *spoiler alert* when the two people decide they don't hate each other but are in love... it is worth noting that it was a very serious, moving part of the film and my laughed set everybody else off - priceless now, zeta-jones plays a serious, ice-maiden, bitch chef, and so naturally she doesn't do puddings (yes, i know, this film actually got made!) and, smoothly, in an almost leslie phillips drawl, aaron echardt says..... well, you obviously haven't tasted my tiramisu.....
Zingari Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 sorry, but mine is one of the ovious ones ; Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have more responsibility here than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I know deep down in places you dont talk about at parties, you don’t want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then question the manner in which I provide it. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to!” [Jack Nicholson, as Colonel Jessup] Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): “You want answers?” Tom Cruise (Kaffee): “I think I’m entitled.” Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): “You want answers?” Tom Cruise (Kaffee): “I want the truth!” Jack Nicholson (Col. Jessup): “You can’t handle the truth!”
Alexikokopops Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 And if you screw up just this much, you'll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong! Straightest film ever. 'Nuff people say they know they can't believe, Jamaica we have a bobsleigh team. Greetings sled god.
welck12 Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 "Who wants a moustache ride?" Thorny from Super Troopers Clerks II Randal Graves: Since when did porch monkey suddenly become a racial slur? Dante Hicks: When ignorant racists started saying it a hundred years ago! Randal Graves: Oh, bullshit! My grandmother used to call me a porch monkey all the time when I was a kid because I'd sit on the porch and stare at my neighbors! Dante Hicks: Despite the fact that your grandmother might've used it as a term of endearment for you, it's still a racial slur! It'd be like your grandmother calling you a little kike! Randal Graves: Oh, it is not. Plus, my grandmother had nothing but the utmost respect for the Jewish community. When I was a kid she told me to always treat the Jewish kids well, or they'd put the sheeny curse on me. Dante Hicks: What the fook, man? Randal Graves: What? Dante Hicks: Sheeny's a racial slur, too! Randal Graves: Oh, it is not. Dante Hicks: Yes, it is! Randal Graves: She never called any Jews 'sheeny', she just used to say sheeny curse a lot. It was cute! Dante Hicks: It wasn't cute! It was racist! Randal Graves: I disagree, man, she was just an old timer, that's the way people talked back then! Didn't mean they were racist... But my grandmother did refer to a broken beer bottle once as a nigger knife... You know, come to think of it, my grandmother was kind of a racist. Dante Hicks: You think? Randal Graves: Well, I-I still don't think porch monkey should be considered a racial term. I mean, I've always used it to describe lazy people, not lazy black people! I think if we really tried, we could re-claim porch monkey, and save it. Dante Hicks: It can't be saved, Randal! The sole purpose for its creation, the only reason it exists in the first place, is to disparage an entire race! And even if it could be saved, you can't save it because you're not black! Randal Graves: Well listen to you! Telling me I can't do something because of the color of my skin! You're the racist! I'm taking it back, you watch! [customers enter] Randal Graves: Hey, what can I get for you, you little porch monkey? [beat] Randal Graves: Its cool, I'm taking it back. Porch Monkey 4 Life
Samilktray Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 'If we want to change the world, we must first change ourselves' 'Show no love, love'll get you killed' 'Are you not entertained? Well? Is that not why you are here?!' (and the other Gladiator quote earlier in the thread)
Tabou Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 Bricktop - "In the quiet words of the virgin Mary.....Come again"
morris1234 Posted 6 March 2009 Author Posted 6 March 2009 seeing as somebody took some from team america, ill do one aswell. LEGENDARY! (contains bad language but piss yourself funny) ""We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fooked by dicks. But dicks also fook assholes. Assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fook a asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is they fook too much or fook when it isn't appropriate. And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are a inch and half away from assholes. I don't know much about this crazy crazy world, but I do know this. If you don't let us fook this asshole we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit.""
Number 6 Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 "Are you hungry? I haven't eaten since later this afternoon" - primer. "it could be worse, a woman could chop your penis off and throw it out the window of a moving car" - tyler durden fight club
Trav Le Bleu Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 In the background on the telly in Mission Impossible (the first one) you can clearly hear a Sky News reporter say "Leicester City"! Here's a few of mine! "You're all clear kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!" "I'm ready man. Check it out! I am the ultimate bad-ass! State of the bad-ass art! You do not want to fook with me. Check it out! Hey Ripley, don't worry. Me and my squad of ultimate bad-asses will protect you! Check it out. Independently targeting particle-beam phallanx. WHAP! Fry half a city with this puppy. We got tactical smart missles, phase plasma pulse rifles, RPGs. We got sonic, electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knifes, sharp sticks!" "I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight… If he bothers me, or if there's a woman… Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly only when I'm gettin' paid." "Can I make a suggestion that doesn't involve killing anybody, or is this the wrong crowd?" "He IS the Messiah, and I should know, I've followed a few!"
JakeShingler Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 "Bloody Hell i was expecting a kwik wank and a bowl of cornflakes"
ozleicester Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our dark that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you.We are all meant to shine as children do. Its not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsiously give other people to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Sir I just wanna say thank you . . . You saved my life.Makes me cry everytime.
StanSP Posted 6 March 2009 Posted 6 March 2009 A few from Airplane - a seriously funny film! Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital. Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it? Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines Rumack: Can you fly this plane, and land it? Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious. Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
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