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Vardinhio

Worst toilet you've ever pooed in?

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Posted

my dad went to peru in 2002 and and there was a tiny little shack next to a mudhut it had no light or toilet paper instead there was a pile of leaves with some poison ivy in it there was a hole in it whwere you had to squat it wasalready half full. it kinda looked like shreks moon toilet.shrek2_29.jpg

Posted

A dockside bog in Agadir squatting over a battered Dulux paint tin, finishing off with a napkin filched from a cafe, and then being chased half way across the docks by an Arab who wanted a tip for emptying it!

Posted

Oh, one of my mates had to have a dump in the bushes by the 10th tee at Western Park. Used his golf towel for afterwards

 

My mate had on in a bunker there once.

 

 

For me - in Leicester either the Market Tavern or the old Mark Jarvis on Northampton Street, both didn't seem to have been cleaned for a while and had been used by some rather primitive members of the human race.

 

Worldwide - A bar in Tijuana in Mexico, shit everywhere, the floor, walls everything. I was shitting and being sick by the time I had squeezed it out. Would genuinely have rather had used the bog again where we had a gun pulled on us demanding a dollar to use it.

Posted

Christ, I forgot about festival toilets. They'll take some beating. 

 

I did a bad shit in a club in Magaluf. The toilet attendant didn't offer me any aftershave and just sprayed Glade in the cubicle lol

Posted

A service station in India. I won't go into details in the end I had to use the womens loo 

 

Surprised you didn't walk in on a rape.

Posted

In Asda one morning, had a huge vindaloo the night before and I had to rush across the floor, pure relief when it fell out. Some moaning desperate bastard outside as well was saying hurry up so I made sure I left it lingering for him despite telling him to leave it for 5 minutes which I knew he couldn't, even just sat there farting for a couple of minutes to keep him hanging on.

 

I even went to customer services and told them to send the toilet attendent immediately as well to embarrass him even more.

Posted

I kind of made a clean toilet into a sheissen hole. Being in utter need due to a bad stomach I had to get to the nearest toilet which happened to be a McDonalds. I was cramping up, clenching to the point where i walked like Graham Norton but the liquid poo was trickling out. I barely made it to the bog and as soon as i dropped my kecks.. BOOM...

Man, it was everywhere, all over the seat, the bowl, the rim, the lid. It was under the hinges... everywhere. There was no way I could clear it up without serious kit. I used my kecks to clear what I could and then binned them, but I had to leave it all for the poor cleaner. It was late and the place was going to close soon so I made a silent apology to the God of bog cleaners and left.

Yes I was disgusted with myself.

Posted

In a world blighted with poor quality public toilets did anyone have a favourite toilet stop? Myself having lived in Nottingham for years as a student I always relied on trusty Walkabout. They had auto flush and must have had very enthusiastic cleaners. It was much cleaner in there than in our student house, a genuine pleasure to poo.

Posted

In a world blighted with poor quality public toilets did anyone have a favourite toilet stop? Myself having lived in Nottingham for years as a student I always relied on trusty Walkabout. They had auto flush and must have had very enthusiastic cleaners. It was much cleaner in there than in our student house, a genuine pleasure to poo.

 

In my experience decent toilets are few and far between, apart from in decent restaurants.

 

It's horribly annoying when people seem to deliberately soil the seat with piss or spit. They wouldn't do that at home.

 

We should adopt the American way and have disinfectant spray to apply to tissue and wipe the seat with before using a seat shaped piece of tissue to sit on.

Posted

marks an spencers in town in liverpool always had belter toilets. used to go there instead of the work ones sometimes for a luxury trip. worst is just any festival probably. followed by all the rumours that someone's fell in the trench underneath, wonder if anyone ever actually has? 

 

 

as an aside i single man in work (as in i'm the only member of staff there) so some of my toilet trips are ridiculously rushed, always like a challenge i set to myself. can i leave the counter, shit, wipe, wash and get back to my till in under 60 seconds (the length of a race etc). 

Posted

as an aside i single man in work (as in i'm the only member of staff there) so some of my toilet trips are ridiculously rushed, always like a challenge i set to myself. can i leave the counter, shit, wipe, wash and get back to my till in under 60 seconds (the length of a race etc). 

 

That sounds awful - a work dump is something to savour. 60 minutes is more likely than 60 seconds

Posted

That sounds awful - a work dump is something to savour. 60 minutes is more likely than 60 seconds

 

yeah but needs must when you work 5-10 or 8.45-2 by yourself. obviously when there's other staff in and i can disappear i'll sit out back, post a bit on here, play some games and the usual. both ends of the spectrum in my job. 

Posted

yeah but needs must when you work 5-10 or 8.45-2 by yourself. obviously when there's other staff in and i can disappear i'll sit out back, post a bit on here, play some games and the usual. both ends of the spectrum in my job. 

 

The rectum spectrum

Posted

That sounds awful - a work dump is something to savour. 60 minutes is more likely than 60 seconds

 

Absolutely this, I like to look at it as being paid to shit. 

 

10 minutes a day shitting 5 times a week and even when I was working for 7 quid an hour I was pulling in £182.00 a year sat on the throne. Glorious 

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