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Vardinhio

Worst toilet you've ever pooed in?

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Posted

I had to go on an overnight train from Delhi to Mumbai once. There were two toilets in the carriage, one mark European and the other Indian. The European one had someone in it so obviously I went in the other. In there was a hole in the floor with two handle bars. All you could see was shit all over the floor where people had missed and railway buffers shooting past at 120 mph. Worse was to come. After my best aim I discovered there was no bog roll, so I had to take my socks off to wipe my arse.

I've done the overnight train from Chennai to Salem. Absolutely horrid. I've taken a dump in a lot of awful places but that train really was the worst.

The metal floor had rusted due to everyone's pee, so I was petrified that I'd fall through.

I am glad I took my one wipes though and didn't have to struggle in there to get my sock off!!

Posted

Shat in a buckets in a few vans a few times, chucked the buckets in the skip naturally.

We were doing an old railway warehouse that they were converting into industrial units. The toilets were so disgusting that nobody would sit on them, didn't stop us pissing on them though. Anyway I was looking for a bucket lying around to put some stuff in when I found this old emulsion bucket with a lid on. I picked it up and heard something rattling inside. I lifted the lid and the smell hit me, there was a huge turd in there. It'd been in there so long it had got blue fur on it.  :sick:

Posted

In the kitchen in a chinese takeaway in Leeds, I was desparate after holding one in for 14 hours.

Is that the Robbie Williams story?

 

Surely there are people in here that deserve one more airing of that. Hilarious. 

Posted

We were doing an old railway warehouse that they were converting into industrial units. The toilets were so disgusting that nobody would sit on them, didn't stop us pissing on them though. Anyway I was looking for a bucket lying around to put some stuff in when I found this old emulsion bucket with a lid on. I picked it up and heard something rattling inside. I lifted the lid and the smell hit me, there was a huge turd in there. It'd been in there so long it had got blue fur on it.  :sick:

 

Blue fur coated shit, that must be the ultimate stench.

Posted

Don't remember where it was, but this thread's dragged up horrible memories of squatting over a shit-smeared seat in a pub somewhere.

Posted

We were doing an old railway warehouse that they were converting into industrial units. The toilets were so disgusting that nobody would sit on them, didn't stop us pissing on them though. Anyway I was looking for a bucket lying around to put some stuff in when I found this old emulsion bucket with a lid on. I picked it up and heard something rattling inside. I lifted the lid and the smell hit me, there was a huge turd in there. It'd been in there so long it had got blue fur on it. :sick:

lol, I detest mould aswell, sounds awful!

Posted

marks an spencers in town in liverpool always had belter toilets. used to go there instead of the work ones sometimes for a luxury trip. worst is just any festival probably. followed by all the rumours that someone's fell in the trench underneath, wonder if anyone ever actually has? 

 

 

as an aside i single man in work (as in i'm the only member of staff there) so some of my toilet trips are ridiculously rushed, always like a challenge i set to myself. can i leave the counter, shit, wipe, wash and get back to my till in under 60 seconds (the length of a race etc). 

I take it the bog in the bookies that you work isn't like the one in Trainspotting then.

Posted

We were doing an old railway warehouse that they were converting into industrial units. The toilets were so disgusting that nobody would sit on them, didn't stop us pissing on them though. Anyway I was looking for a bucket lying around to put some stuff in when I found this old emulsion bucket with a lid on. I picked it up and heard something rattling inside. I lifted the lid and the smell hit me, there was a huge turd in there. It'd been in there so long it had got blue fur on it.  :sick:

 

Probably done by some knobhead who eats nothing but junk food

cookiemonster.jpeg

Posted

Used to be a club called starlight 2000 not sure if it's still in operation, was a proper kip but was open till 4 or 5 in morning sold red stripe and everyone was off their box, so much so their bowls had no control and the boys were shocking bad, still stained by the memory 10-15 years later

Posted

Used to be a club called starlight 2000 not sure if it's still in operation, was a proper kip but was open till 4 or 5 in morning sold red stripe and everyone was off their box, so much so their bowls had no control and the boys were shocking bad, still stained by the memory 10-15 years later

Wasn't that the old Boot And Shoe working mens club?

Posted

I just think there are lots of ill people about.Why is it nearly every supermarket toilet is pebble dashed .Would you not think to clean up a bit after,I'm not sure I've ever made the mess that I come across .

Posted

Jesus Christ, never told anybody this...

Koh sahn road, Bangkok. Been in Asia for a few weeks, stomach in bits most days. Had to go, wasn't in a good way, ran into the horrendous toilet in the bar we were drinking in. Sat down, all hell broke loose. Realised far too late...no paper. Bin next to me with disgusting, used paper.

Had to be done. So, so grim.

Posted

Was having a shit at the king power once but the lights had broken in that part of the toilets so i couldnt see much so didn't notice that the toilet was blocked. Sat down and flushed it about to have a shit and this horrible brown watery liquid came up and flooded the whole cubicle and all those next to it.

Posted

In Asda one morning, had a huge vindaloo the night before and I had to rush across the floor, pure relief when it fell out. Some moaning desperate bastard outside as well was saying hurry up so I made sure I left it lingering for him despite telling him to leave it for 5 minutes which I knew he couldn't, even just sat there farting for a couple of minutes to keep him hanging on.

I even went to customer services and told them to send the toilet attendent immediately as well to embarrass him even more.

Hahaha, I've just read the fart thread. I'm going to pretend that you didn't write this in response and that it's a glorious coincidence.
Posted

marks an spencers in town in liverpool always had belter toilets. used to go there instead of the work ones sometimes for a luxury trip. worst is just any festival probably. followed by all the rumours that someone's fell in the trench underneath, wonder if anyone ever actually has? 

 

 

as an aside i single man in work (as in i'm the only member of staff there) so some of my toilet trips are ridiculously rushed, always like a challenge i set to myself. can i leave the counter, shit, wipe, wash and get back to my till in under 60 seconds (the length of a race etc). 

 

Someone got stuck in the long drop at Leeds once. http://www.thejournal.co.uk/news/north-east-news/charlotte-taylor-gets-stuck-toilet-4472827

Posted

Jesus Christ, never told anybody this...

Koh sahn road, Bangkok. Been in Asia for a few weeks, stomach in bits most days. Had to go, wasn't in a good way, ran into the horrendous toilet in the bar we were drinking in. Sat down, all hell broke loose. Realised far too late...no paper. Bin next to me with disgusting, used paper.

Had to be done. So, so grim.

Judging by your user name you still had time to sign up to here while doing that.

Posted

The portaloos at Glasto.

There's something about squatting down and feeling the soft warmth of someone else's recently deposited fudge on your bum cheek that never leaves you.

Posted

The portaloos at Glasto.

There's something about squatting down and feeling the soft warmth of someone else's recently deposited fudge on your bum cheek that never leaves you.

Jesus christ.

Posted

Well rijeka played this summer in tirasspol-moldavia. I have a picture of the toilet on the border, if you are not too discusted i can post it. It's 2 holes in the ground. No toilet paper, just some used leaves and some vomit. Worst thing i ever saw...

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