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Vardinhio

Worst toilet you've ever pooed in?

By Vardinhio, in General Chat

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foxfanazer

foxfanazer

Posted
Posted

I had a really bad stomach is waiting for a lift to work on Narborough Road at about 4am. Really couldn't hold it so I shit behind the huntsman and wiped my arse with my terms of employment booklet

Bad times lol

The Blur

The Blur

Posted
Posted

lol

 

This thread have some potential to revolutionise FT in 2015 in the way Tinder thread did in 2014! 

 

During my travels in Asia, I developed a weird gift. After my first go in an eastern toilet (a piss thankfully) my bowels just developed an ability to completely clam up whenever I am near an eastern toilet and just loosen up whenever I am near a western toilet so effectively this mean I always need a shit when I am in a building that have western toilets even if it was first time in days. It is a bizarre but incredibly useful bodily function that I have!  

srbfox

srbfox

Posted
Posted

A fisherman rowing boat just off Kavos beech and wiped my behind with my sick. Probably worse for him though anywhere in Kavos would have been bad!

Zear0

Zear0

Posted
Posted

Long drop toilet in Yosemite Park. Could see the shit pile at the bottom and the seat was smeared with it. Had to hover and upon impact a swarm of flies then dislodged and made a beeline for my Harris. Absolutely hummed. That or the ones in Abbey Park.

Captain...

Captain...

Posted
Posted

Festival toilets: I've shat in many but normally I go for an early morning poo just after they've been cleaned or I will just crimp off a quick one whenever I find a clean one.

Worst toilet was in Fiji, everyone was having tummy troubles and the only toilet in the hostel was a mess. Like several peoples arses had assploded everywhere. The height up the walls was impressive. You couldn't even put your hands on the walls to steady yourself for a hover drop.

lgfualol

lgfualol

Posted
Posted

Isle of wight festival 2010 was not pretty. 30 degree heat, shit piles higher than the toilet seat.

Reading festival was dreadful too.

Bestival had the best toilets. I rarely take a shit at festivals but Bestival's are so clean I was in there like 5 hours a day.

DANGEROUS TIGER

DANGEROUS TIGER

Posted
Posted

Counden Road, home of Coventry Rugby Club. The toilet was buried deep in bushes. I threw up at the stench. Pee and shite all over the floor. Horrendous experience, and never to be forgotten.

lavrentis

lavrentis

Posted
Posted

went out in a northern part of a particular city (that city shall remain nameless @purpleronnie) and there was a dead fish in the bog. almost made me throw up

RonnieTodger

RonnieTodger

Posted
Posted

In Asda one morning, had a huge vindaloo the night before and I had to rush across the floor, pure relief when it fell out. Some moaning desperate bastard outside as well was saying hurry up so I made sure I left it lingering for him despite telling him to leave it for 5 minutes which I knew he couldn't, even just sat there farting for a couple of minutes to keep him hanging on.

 

I even went to customer services and told them to send the toilet attendent immediately as well to embarrass him even more.

 

Spat my drink out at that bit

Rob1742

Rob1742

Posted
Posted

Worked for a bloke once who was worth over £100m.

He had all the money, but his offices were dreadful and his bogs were horrendous.

They were that bad that on the odd occasion that I needed a dump, I would call the cleaner up and make him give them a good going over before I stepped foot in there.

"Gary, I need a dump, go and sort out the best trap for me and give me the nod when it's sorted"

Brenfox

Brenfox

Posted
Posted

A company I used to work for had a blocked toilet & were in no rush to get it sorted. It just built up until it was actually higher than the seat. Right next to the canteen too.

Leeds Fox

Leeds Fox

Posted
Posted

To use toilets as bad as the ones in this thread, it's always a case of just managing to find somewhere to go before your stomach explodes all over your trousers. Once I was on an Adventure Training Expedition, mounting biking over a couple of days. I filled my water bottle up from a dirty, stagnant looking water source, and very foolishly didn't put a water purification tablet into my 'drink'. As we carried on cycling, I drank the water. After a while my stomach turned into a tsunami of hell! I just remember having to say I was going for a wee, go behind a tree and let all hell break loose! The tree looked like it'd been sprayed with brown paint. I had to take a sock off to wipe! I probably should have used both socks, but I wasn't sure if I'd be needing the other one a little later.

Filbert Walker

Filbert Walker

Posted
Posted

To use toilets as bad as the ones in this thread, it's always a case of just managing to find somewhere to go before your stomach explodes all over your trousers. Once I was on an Adventure Training Expedition, mounting biking over a couple of days. I filled my water bottle up from a dirty, stagnant looking water source, and very foolishly didn't put a water purification tablet into my 'drink'. As we carried on cycling, I drank the water. After a while my stomach turned into a tsunami of hell! I just remember having to say I was going for a wee, go behind a tree and let all hell break loose! The tree looked like it'd been sprayed with brown paint. I had to take a sock off to wipe! I probably should have used both socks, but I wasn't sure if I'd be needing the other one a little later.

 I would hate to have seen the inside of your shorts after a long day in the saddle....

Leeds Fox

Leeds Fox

Posted
Posted

I would hate to have seen the inside of your shorts after a long day in the saddle....

Remarkably clean, given the circumstances. A good wipe did the trick and managing to find a toilet not too long after just about saved the day... and the shorts.

FoxInTheBirstallBox

FoxInTheBirstallBox

Posted
Posted

My old work toilets wernt so much disgusting, but it was a serious task
in this little boutique shop in rothley, the toilet door opens up onto the shop floor, and the two cubicles were instantly visible. well for a time, there was no lock on the door so if you had to do a Forrest Gump, you had to be smart. deducing when or if anyone else has had a dump so you can guess whether anyone would open up the door to show the entire shop a guy pinching out a poop.
But that wasn't the end of it....
The toilet was weak at best, you'd struggle to flush a pencil down there so as you're having a poop you had to pinch it off into several bitesized chunks and for the love of god don't use too much paper. And then the moment of truth... the flush. id say 7/10 times you had to do a double flush to get it all gone, failing that there was a bucket by the side that you had to fill with water and chuck down the bog to release the dump.
It was a serious task trying to have a crap at work, but at least i got paid for it

Itsthejoeker

Itsthejoeker

Posted
Posted

If I think I need a dump at 9am there's no way it'll wait till 5:30pm. Maybe I need more Bran Flakes

 

Squeeze one out before work, then you'll be fine till you get back.

Itsthejoeker

Itsthejoeker

Posted
Posted

Nah, I hate the anti-climax of a half-dump when you don't really need one. I'd rather wait till I get to work and go large with all the trimmings

 

That is a very compelling argument

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