Stopharage

If you had to have a second nose somewhere on your body, where would you place it?

I think we’ve got the crack team who brokered the Sensi deal on this one.

Bloody hell, starting the day off with Garcia and then ending it linked with Sarri is like your wife walking out on you and Scarlett Johansson knocking on your door for a game of naked Twister.

Only problem with this, is Daka would miss his flight there.

Goodbye sweet prince. For the short time we had together, there were magical times and many laughs along the way. The times we shared will remain close to our hearts and you have given us memories that can never be replaced or forgotten. That’s enough about Albrighton though. This guy leaving gives me a feeling of ‘Meh’. The knuckle-draggers of the Kings Road are going to be apoplectic when his centre-backs pass it between themselves when they’re losing 1-0 to Fulham with a minute left.

We're so skint that we can't afford to pay for enough kits for the entire squad?

Fear if we go for this then we'll have our pants pulled down on the deal, the contract and value for money. Acclimatising to the Premier League is pretty tough and we'll need players who can hit the ground running, not need 3 months to get to speed and bed in.

Limited to 5 years after the Chelsea shenanigans.

Lots of safe names being bandied around. I think we take a punt on Joey Barton.

I think we should go for Klopp.

Really don't get all this chat for Moyes or Corberan. If he were willing to take it, I'd give it to Rob Edwards. Not because of what he did last year at Luton, but what he's done across the clubs he's worked at. He adapts his team's playing style and formation on the basis of the squad that he's got, he doesn't adapt the team to the playing style he wants his team to play. Seems eminently sensible as he'd be inheriting a squad and a playing style that is hugely different to his Luton team. If we're as hamstrung financially as it appears we may be, then we want a manager who can make the most of the squad he's got and play a style of football that plays to their strengths, rather than some philosophy they have. Luton went down last year firstly because their squad was never good enough, a lot of them had gone through the leagues with them and they had a really bad run of injuries. Our squad has more depth and is significantly better and I think if he got the gig he'd be willing to build on Maresca's blueprint. I really think we're on a hiding to nothing if we get Moyes or Corberan; neither are noted for the possession-based football that our squad has had drummed into them for over a year. They may be pragmatists but that's about it.

Where’s that Mavididi tweet when you need it..

You can't blame Enzo at all. The guy takes the gig here, seemingly 'misinformed' about the rather perilous state of the finances. Then does a decent job getting us promoted, especially seeing as we can't splash out the £2m or so required for a much-needed midfield reinforcement in the January transfer window. Presumably, he's now been given the lowdown on the financial restrictions we may face in this transfer market and that there may be a need to sell KDH, against both the player and the manager's wishes. If we are going to have a budget transfer window, he might not be willing to risk his reputation on a potential Sheffield United level relegation. I don't think we'll be that bad, nor that the restrictions will be as catastrophic as some may fear but there are more attractive options out there for him. Plus if we get the £7.5m for him we can then just put that straight into the accounts and get Rudkin to be the manager..

Who needs Lookman when you end up with Tete?

It will never surprise me how utterly clueless some of our fans are. £20m outlay for Szmodics, recouping £4-5m on Thomas. What’s next, selling Ward back to Liverpool for £12m?

Could always try and teach Iheanacho how to do sudoku.

If we are resigning Vestergaard, then you'd hope we'd sign someone quicker than him at CB. Like Casemiro.

No, Chemical Alli.

This way madness lies. Every time I wonder how Rudkin can be such a poor operator in the transfer market, I'm then reminded that loads of our fans are equally clueless. £20m for someone with one decent season. In the league below. We're looking down the back of the sofa for spare change to buy players and people think this would be a good idea?

Ah silly season has begun then.

Would have thought Brentford would be a far better fit, with Toney likely to leave.

I wonder whether he knows he’s out of contract?

Which Premier League footballer looks most like Lurch out of the Addams Family?

I think we desperately need a nasty midfielder in the ranks. One of those players you would hate to play against but are a cult hero for your team. Midfielder with a bit of bite who can up the tempo and get the team firing. Someone like McGinn would be ideal.

Enzo to reignite Kalvin Philipps' career with an early loan move for the entire 24/25 season. Option to buy around £20m.