Depression

[HighPeakFox]

I've been very busy and then managed to fit a break in, to Wales, so I could have the chance to scatter my Mum's ashes. The trip was a success, I came back knowing I had commitments immediately, and now I've been able to have 4 days off. And today I'm really low.

 

I've usefully found out when saying 'yes' is the wrong thing to do (not easy when you're a freelancer, dependent on people asking you to work for them), but still am struggling with good quality sleep. I have started a process with the sleep clinic, and am wondering what they have found out from the night I wore all sorts of equipment designed to measure my oxygen levels and so forth. 

 

I am hoping that this is a temporary state, as right now I just am very down on energy and motivation.

[filthyfox]

35 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

I've been very busy and then managed to fit a break in, to Wales, so I could have the chance to scatter my Mum's ashes. The trip was a success, I came back knowing I had commitments immediately, and now I've been able to have 4 days off. And today I'm really low.

 

I've usefully found out when saying 'yes' is the wrong thing to do (not easy when you're a freelancer, dependent on people asking you to work for them), but still am struggling with good quality sleep. I have started a process with the sleep clinic, and am wondering what they have found out from the night I wore all sorts of equipment designed to measure my oxygen levels and so forth. 

 

I am hoping that this is a temporary state, as right now I just am very down on energy and motivation.

If you have sleep apnoea, the CPAP will change your life.

[HighPeakFox]

42 minutes ago, filthyfox said:

If you have sleep apnoea, the CPAP will change your life.

I don't think I do, but we shall see.

[Sampson]

3 hours ago, FoxesDeb said:

I'm feeling a bit down about everything at the moment. I can't shake the feeling that maybe if I'd done something differently that my son would still be here, even though I'm not sure what, and as a mother I suppose it's to be expected. 

 

I also have this overwhelming feeling that just as I'm in a really comfortable position in life that that I might not live long enough to enjoy it. Maybe that's tied in with the guilt thing, I don't know, but it definitely occupies most of my waking thoughts.

 

Anyway first world problems I guess, I know many of you are struggling more than me, I hope everyone here is doing ok x

 

2 hours ago, bovril said:

I've had similar feelings to yours described in the second paragraph. I think a lot of us do. I do think we have been primed over the last couple of decades by film, TV, news and especially social media to think something bad is constantly going to happen. We're in a constantly anxious state now. God knows what the constant exposure is doing to our brains. 

Yeah, many of us feel it every day. Ive said before on here, but I think about death pretty much daily. I understand logically the "it will just be the same as before you were born" but it's the simple moments of going to the pub or a restaurant or playing board or card games or watching football with friends and family, or reading a good book, or the beauty of bird song, green hills and the sea lapping up on the shore or the feel of the wind on my face - just the idea of losing all the small joys in life causes my  second brain in my gut to feel empty.

 

One of the hardest things about modern life for me I think is just how incredibly unsocial modern culture has become. For most of human history you lived with your friends and family in a tribe and making friends and having meaningful social interaction was the easiest thing in the world- that's how our brains are wired to help us survive as pack animals, but making genuine long-term friendships that you spend timr with constantly as an adult today is stupidly hard. I think a lot of us wish we had more friends and human companship and hung out with the friends we do have more, but it's almost a shameful thing to admit as an adult nowadays.

Edited 5 August by Sampson

[FoyleFox]

I didn't want to quote all the relevant posts but, you may perceive others have greater struggles @FoxesDeb but it doesn't lessen the impact of yours on you. I can't imagine what you've been through, as I can't many of the others here. Each persons issues and concerns are equal here. 

 

With regards to thinking of death, I certainly do that a lot. Not my own, that doesn't concern me but with nearly 90 y/o parents, a nearly 70 y/o partner and the dog nearly 14, a wave of death is imminent. Which is a constant worry. 

 

The being apart from friends and family was fully behind my return to Leicestershire, but as it was still Covid, we didn't immediately spend as much time together as I'd hoped. Then life just took over. So, it still didn't happen as much. A few of us have recently been making more of an effort. Just to meet for coffee and a catch up rather than night's out, as we had been doing. It's a start. 

[Free Falling Foxes]

May not help everyone, but has helped many.....

 

[Trav Le Bleu]

3 hours ago, Sampson said:

 

Yeah, many of us feel it every day. Ive said before on here, but I think about death pretty much daily. I understand logically the "it will just be the same as before you were born" but it's the simple moments of going to the pub or a restaurant or playing board or card games or watching football with friends and family, or reading a good book, or the beauty of bird song, green hills and the sea lapping up on the shore or the feel of the wind on my face - just the idea of losing all the small joys in life causes my  second brain in my gut to feel empty.

 

One of the hardest things about modern life for me I think is just how incredibly unsocial modern culture has become. For most of human history you lived with your friends and family in a tribe and making friends and having meaningful social interaction was the easiest thing in the world- that's how our brains are wired to help us survive as pack animals, but making genuine long-term friendships that you spend timr with constantly as an adult today is stupidly hard. I think a lot of us wish we had more friends and human companship and hung out with the friends we do have more, but it's almost a shameful thing to admit as an adult nowadays.

Social media is an oxymoron.

[leicsmac]

9 hours ago, Sampson said:

 

Yeah, many of us feel it every day. Ive said before on here, but I think about death pretty much daily. I understand logically the "it will just be the same as before you were born" but it's the simple moments of going to the pub or a restaurant or playing board or card games or watching football with friends and family, or reading a good book, or the beauty of bird song, green hills and the sea lapping up on the shore or the feel of the wind on my face - just the idea of losing all the small joys in life causes my  second brain in my gut to feel empty.

 

One of the hardest things about modern life for me I think is just how incredibly unsocial modern culture has become. For most of human history you lived with your friends and family in a tribe and making friends and having meaningful social interaction was the easiest thing in the world- that's how our brains are wired to help us survive as pack animals, but making genuine long-term friendships that you spend timr with constantly as an adult today is stupidly hard. I think a lot of us wish we had more friends and human companship and hung out with the friends we do have more, but it's almost a shameful thing to admit as an adult nowadays.

Agree 100% with this and it's something I continue to struggle with too. 

 

I remember playing a (superb) video game called The Talos Principle, and, near the end, one of the characters gives this speech.

 

"I... think this is... This is it. The end of... me. I don't believe that I will continue to exist. I would like to think that there is a... a soul or spirit. Some part of my consciousness that will persist. All the evidence says that when my brain dies, I will be gone. I've lived my life, never turning away from the truth even if it scares me and... I can face this. Face my own end, and... and say with absolute conviction... that it was good to be human."

 

That last part in particular, about it being good to be human, in spite of it being often difficult and sometimes simply agonising, resonated hard.

 

And yes, another big fault of social media is the decline of those social groups and "third places" (not homes or workplaces) where such groups could gather for in person interaction. That has become so much more difficult these days. It really shouldn't be shameful to admit that a person is lonely, and they need more of that interaction to feel more grounded and just more...human.

[James and his giant peach]

I'm in a horrible job a horrible marriage and I hate myself. I have awful skin, teeth, a bad temper, no money no prospects no friends. I feel absolutely terrible and have done for a long time. 

[DJW1]

1 hour ago, James and his giant peach said:

I'm in a horrible job a horrible marriage and I hate myself. I have awful skin, teeth, a bad temper, no money no prospects no friends. I feel absolutely terrible and have done for a long time. 

You´ve been brave in sharing this with us. Explain your situation to professionals who can help you: your GP, telephone helplines etc.

If you want to share more things with us, please do so.

[James and his giant peach]

I don't see how anyone can help to be honest. 

[FoxesDeb]

1 hour ago, James and his giant peach said:

I'm in a horrible job a horrible marriage and I hate myself. I have awful skin, teeth, a bad temper, no money no prospects no friends. I feel absolutely terrible and have done for a long time. 

Things must feel really overwhelming, and that's completely understandable, you need to maybe try to look at each thing individually. What kind of work do you do? Maybe someone here can offer some advice depending on what you do. Skin and teeth can be sorted out potentially, although teeth especially can be costly, but long term the improvements to overall wellbeing and confidence can be massive. I guess the way you feel about everything probably compounds the anger you feel, and I get that. My best advice would be to try and tackle one thing at a time. Talk to us here and we will try to help. 

[Lionator]

12 hours ago, James and his giant peach said:

I don't see how anyone can help to be honest. 

At the very least just go and see your GP and be completely honest. When you’re in the pits it’s easy to see no way out, and the path isn’t straight or linear, it’s about momentum and making small changes that eventually flower into bigger ones over time. 

[Zear0]

Life has been relentless of late and not always in a positive way. I’ve had a succession of potentially serious medical symptoms that turned out innocuous and another has appeared this week that’s shaken me quite badly. It takes it toll on the mind and the body being constantly worked up and the CBT I have helps only to an extent as the reaction to these things I think is “normal”.

 

I’m 38 and not in ill health or out of shape, but my god do I need to take better care of myself to stop myself suddenly falling to bits.

 

Just needed to vent, good luck to all going through challenging times.

[foxfanazer]

On 09/08/2026 at 18:13, James and his giant peach said:

I'm in a horrible job a horrible marriage and I hate myself. I have awful skin, teeth, a bad temper, no money no prospects no friends. I feel absolutely terrible and have done for a long time. 

Really sorry to hear how you're feeling mate. 

 

This might be really shit advice but I'll give it anyway. That sounds like a whole cluster **** of problems as a collective but maybe find ways to fix the smaller ones and the bigger ones will seem less daunting. Also fixing things for yourself gives you a sense of achievement and worth which then makes you more resilient 

 

Do seek help from a GP though mate

 

 

 

Inbox is always open

[James and his giant peach]

7 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Really sorry to hear how you're feeling mate. 

 

This might be really shit advice but I'll give it anyway. That sounds like a whole cluster **** of problems as a collective but maybe find ways to fix the smaller ones and the bigger ones will seem less daunting. Also fixing things for yourself gives you a sense of achievement and worth which then makes you more resilient 

 

Do seek help from a GP though mate

 

 

 

Inbox is always open

Thank you so much for your reply, posting on here and people like you being so kind makes a massive difference to my day. 

[foxfanazer]

15 minutes ago, James and his giant peach said:

Thank you so much for your reply, posting on here and people like you being so kind makes a massive difference to my day. 

We're all in the same boat with this cruel illness buddy. Just keep talking though 👍

 

It's a great community on here, helped me out more than you can imagine 

Edited 14 August by foxfanazer

[filthyfox]

So... i find out on monday if i have adhd. I dont really know how to feel about it... broken? That part of the secret of why i am who i am is about to be revealed?

Fact is, Monday will just be an ordinary day with time taken off for an appointment. I dont know if i need to make it its own "thing".

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, filthyfox said:

So... i find out on monday if i have adhd. I dont really know how to feel about it... broken? That part of the secret of why i am who i am is about to be revealed?

Fact is, Monday will just be an ordinary day with time taken off for an appointment. I dont know if i need to make it its own "thing".

If you do have ADHD, you're in good company with the likes of Will Smith, Ryan Gosling, Michael Phelps, Emma Watson, Richard Branson, Justin Timberlake, Will I Am, Tom Hanks, and many others.

 

You ain't 'broken' you're just you. We're all fvcked up to some degree either mentally, physically, or emotionally, so I really wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

 

Those who love you will still love you, with or without a label.

 

[filthyfox]

26 minutes ago, Izzy said:

If you do have ADHD, you're in good company with the likes of Will Smith, Ryan Gosling, Michael Phelps, Emma Watson, Richard Branson, Justin Timberlake, Will I Am, Tom Hanks, and many others.

 

You ain't 'broken' you're just you. We're all fvcked up to some degree either mentally, physically, or emotionally, so I really wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

 

Those who love you will still love you, with or without a label.

 

Ive lived 44 years without knowing what my full potential is.

I have failed at things i may not have had i known earlier.

THAT is what makes me sad

[Trav Le Bleu]

4 hours ago, filthyfox said:

So... i find out on monday if i have adhd. I dont really know how to feel about it... broken? That part of the secret of why i am who i am is about to be revealed?

Fact is, Monday will just be an ordinary day with time taken off for an appointment. I dont know if i need to make it its own "thing".

I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Some people call me "Bob", cos of the "what do you name a goldfish?" joke and goldfish having reputedly an 8 seconds memory.

 

And I'm brilliant, so go figure.

 

ADHD ≠ broken.

 

Anyway, what was I saying?

[filthyfox]

5 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I'm 99% sure I have ADHD. Some people call me "Bob", cos of the "what do you name a goldfish?" joke and goldfish having reputedly an 8 seconds memory.

 

And I'm brilliant, so go figure.

 

ADHD ≠ broken.

 

Anyway, what was I saying?

Something about a rabbit?...   or was that my wife?

I mean a conversation with my wife about a rabbit?

Or do i mean my wife IS  a bunny girl?

[Lionator]

14 hours ago, filthyfox said:

So... i find out on monday if i have adhd. I dont really know how to feel about it... broken? That part of the secret of why i am who i am is about to be revealed?

Fact is, Monday will just be an ordinary day with time taken off for an appointment. I dont know if i need to make it its own "thing".

Can I recommend the book Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate.
 

It’s all about ADHD, what it means, where it may come from etc. He’s a successful psychiatrist, author, speaker, basically everything, and has lived his life with ADHD getting diagnosed in his later life. 

[filthyfox]

Soilunds great.  Thankyou.

Ironically, inhave just started reading again after about a 5 year period of nothing going in

[filthyfox]

I wonder how much sleep im gonna get tonight, lol!

I HAVE purposefully knackered myself out physically