tom27111 Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 There have been some very frank discussions on here in the recent past, especially regarding things like depression and suicide. I was just wondering if there are any gay, bisexual or transgender people on here and how it is being a football fan. Minorities have a history of overcoming prejudice in football. It's taken a long time, but women and ethnic minorities are now widely seen at games and are obviously making positive headlines for playing the game. I'm not the most politically correct person in the world, so I'm sorry if anyone is offended. Is homosexuality one of the last big taboos in football? Should a top player come out? There must be some. In my own personal experience, I'm not gay. One of the lads I used to share a house with recently had a sexual experience with another man, he was worried we'd all find out, so he told us. He's been with a hell of a lot of women and we didn't think he'd be attracted to men, but all of us just basically said "OK, and?" As if he was just telling us about another conquest with a woman. Also, how would people react if one of our players came out? And maybe more importantly, how would you treat an opposing player who was gay?
Fox92 Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 A player will never "come out" because it'll be all over the front pages. Media should just leave it be. If a player wants to come out then so be it, don't need headlines for months.
FLAN Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 Depends if he scores against us or not. If he did I'd jeer him for scoring against us obviously If one of ours came out as gay .... Whats to react to?
davieG Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I'm not interested in players personal lives even less so in their sexual preference I don't want to know who with , when or how often they might be having sex with.
Xen Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I'm gay. Don't get down to the football as much as I'd like, but when I have I've never had a bad experience (at least, not because of any homophobia. Some of the matches a few years back however... ). You hear the odd comment every now and again, but its nothing major and easily brushed off. Bit irritating hearing the odd person/neanderthal still calling a player gay/fag for going down softly, or something like that, but that's very rare to be honest. Haven't taken my partner with me to a game yet (hard enough getting tickets for myself...) so that might change slightly, but I honestly wouldn't expect it to. At Leicester at least it seems fairly well accepted - we've got Foxes Pride as regulars and as far as I'm aware they've been met with good support. If a top player comes out it shouldn't be a big deal, but it will be. For a week or two, maybe, but that's it.Then for a few months after that we might get another front page as a few more start to open up, but the 'shock' factor will have disappeared with the newspapers printing EXACTLY the same story each time. After that everyone will forget about it and that'll be that. But as DavieG says, we shouldn't care about players' personal lives, so there is no need at all for a player to come out publicly.
Guest MattP Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 Couldn't give a shit what people are, individual freedoms are what a country should be built on.
Captain... Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 A player will never "come out" because it'll be all over the front pages. Media should just leave it be. If a player wants to come out then so be it, don't need headlines for months. I wouldn't say never, I mean who'd have thought we would have an openly paedophilic professional footballer?!
Captain... Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I'm gay. Don't get down to the football as much as I'd like, but when I have I've never had a bad experience (at least, not because of any homophobia. Some of the matches a few years back however... ). You hear the odd comment every now and again, but its nothing major and easily brushed off. Bit irritating hearing the odd person/neanderthal still calling a player gay/fag for going down softly, or something like that, but that's very rare to be honest. Haven't taken my partner with me to a game yet (hard enough getting tickets for myself...) so that might change slightly, but I honestly wouldn't expect it to. At Leicester at least it seems fairly well accepted - we've got Foxes Pride as regulars and as far as I'm aware they've been met with good support. If a top player comes out it shouldn't be a big deal, but it will be. For a week or two, maybe, but that's it.Then for a few months after that we might get another front page as a few more start to open up, but the 'shock' factor will have disappeared with the newspapers printing EXACTLY the same story each time. After that everyone will forget about it and that'll be that. But as DavieG says, we shouldn't care about players' personal lives, so there is no need at all for a player to come out publicly. If you went to the game with your partner, would you feel comfortable kissing and being affectionate with him in and around the ground?
Darkon84 Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I've never understood the fascination with players coming out to the public etc or why people think they should. So what if they are gay, straight, bi etc, does it really bother anyone or affect anyone else's lives if they are? I'm sure their friends, and teammates probably know, but as for the general public, it's none of our business.
Guest MattP Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 If you went to the game with your partner, would you feel comfortable kissing and being affectionate with him in and around the ground? I would hope not, I can't stand any over the top sort of public displays of affection, everyone whether straight or gay should act with decorum when surrounded by other people many of whom wouldn't want to see it. It's a football match, not a nightclub at 2am.
Captain... Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I've never understood the fascination with players coming out to the public etc or why people think they should. So what if they are gay, straight, bi etc, does it really bother anyone or affect anyone else's lives if they are? I'm sure their friends, and teammates probably know, but as for the general public, it's none of our business. People are obsessed with famous people, look at Beckham and wags, and it sells. Someone doing something different would be of interest, the first person to come out would be big news, even in a supportive way, the next person less so, until it became less interesting, but the fact that there are many many people playing in team sports and almost none have come out makes it an interesting anomaly if nothing else.
johnny the fox Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I don't give a fook ..whats it got to do with anybody where a footballer shoves his totdger as long as its legal...? mind you, the way some celebrate after a goal..one thing could lead to another...
Guest MattP Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 People are obsessed with famous people, look at Beckham and wags, and it sells. Someone doing something different would be of interest, the first person to come out would be big news, even in a supportive way, the next person less so, until it became less interesting, but the fact that there are many many people playing in team sports and almost none have come out makes it an interesting anomaly if nothing else. It is strange how football is the only sport that has this, we've had gay Tennis players, gay Cricketers, the vast majority of Rugby Union players are out and proud homosexuals. I think the press you speak about are probably the reason why, the thought of having it splashed across every front page (whether supportive or not) is probably as daunting as coming out.
Finnegan Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 Not biting, Matt. Few people have hit the nail on the head though, the biggest issue is the press hounding. The average person doesn't give a shit but it becomes a big deal because of the ridiculous amount of pressure and scrutiny a person will come under when they come out. It'd be better if a whole load just came out at once, albeit massively unlikely.
David Guiza Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I've never understood the fascination with players coming out to the public etc or why people think they should. So what if they are gay, straight, bi etc, does it really bother anyone or affect anyone else's lives if they are? I'm sure their friends, and teammates probably know, but as for the general public, it's none of our business. I guess it's because it breaks the taboo that football has. Granted it was a two decades ago now, but when you look back at someone like Justin Fashanu you can see how far we've come and yet still not far enough in some respects. I totally agree that it is a personal decision and any one person has the choice to be as open or conservative as they wish to be. I personally still wouldn't feel overly comfortable with it if I were in that position and of that persuasion, the red label press would jump all over it and effectively tarnish the career of said player, which is a sorry state of affairs but almost certainly true.
Xen Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 If you went to the game with your partner, would you feel comfortable kissing and being affectionate with him in and around the ground? Not hugely, but I'm equally apprehensive anywhere (in town, cinema etc). A quick kiss or holding hands I don't think would be a problem, and if someone did have a problem with it I'd probably just stop and leave it at that. 'Over-the-top' PDA (gay or straight), as Matt says, shouldn't really happen regardless of context and participants. Especially at the football - if you can't last 90 minutes without trying to stick your tongue down your partner's throat then you really shouldn't be allowed out in public.
Guest MattP Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 Not biting, Matt. Impressed, soon as I saw your name I thought I'd have a go
Xen Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I guess it's because it breaks the taboo that football has. Granted it was a two decades ago now, but when you look back at someone like Justin Fashanu you can see how far we've come and yet still not far enough in some respects. I totally agree that it is a personal decision and any one person has the choice to be as open or conservative as they wish to be. I personally still wouldn't feel overly comfortable with it if I were in that position and of that persuasion, the red label press would jump all over it and effectively tarnish the career of said player, which is a sorry state of affairs but almost certainly true. I doubt the press would try to tarnish a player's career because of it. The overwhelming viewpoint among football fans appears to be one of acceptance, so if the press try to ruin a player's career simply because they're gay then the backlash would be immense. To be honest, that would probably do even more for uniting football against homophobia than any positive campaign. The player may be known as "the gay one" for a while, but that would only last until another player comes out (which will happen fairly swiftly after the first, I'd imagine) and I really don't think that would impact his career anyway.
David Guiza Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I doubt the press would try to tarnish a player's career because of it. The overwhelming viewpoint among football fans appears to be one of acceptance, so if the press try to ruin a player's career simply because they're gay then the backlash would be immense. To be honest, that would probably do even more for uniting football against homophobia than any positive campaign. The player may be known as "the gay one" for a while, but that would only last until another player comes out (which will happen fairly swiftly after the first, I'd imagine) and I really don't think that would impact his career anyway. I guess you're right, 'tarnish career' was a little extreme of me but I think it would certainly have a detrimental effect at this moment in time. I just have little to no faith in the papers that will jump on top of anything like that and I feel that's a huge reason as to why nobody of real note has came out, yet. I'm proud of what an accepting, diverse and modern nation we are. However, football is not always a reflection on that and sometimes quite the opposite. It wasn't that long ago for example that simply putting womens players on FIFA caused some Neanderthals to lose their heads and a small group of Chelsea fans were refusing to let a man on the metro because of his race. Regardless of that we are certainly heading in the right direction, particularly compared to large parts of Europe and I don't think it will be too long until it happens.
Finnegan Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 Impressed, soon as I saw your name I thought I'd have a go Cheeky bastard
Thracian Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 I don't get this need to "come out" or have parades as if it's something unusual. I don't think it is. There are so many shades of sexual grey where people are concerned. And, apart from certain religious zealots, I don't think anyone gives a toss. Just get on with being yourselves (legally) and let others be themselves. How would I react to a homosexual footballer? I've played lots of football and honestly never noticed one, perhaps because I can't remember giving the subject of homosexuality a thought while playing or being involved in football. It wasn't much talked about when I was a kid. How would I be expected to react? Do the rules of football change? Should I be careful in the bath? It's never been a concern and I can't imagine how it would matter in the slightest. The truth lies in the fourth sentence, especially the last bit. I've twice had the seriously scary problem of homosexuals trying to abduct me when I was 14/15 and also had uncomfortable approaches while at a gymnastics club at the Leicester YMCA as a teenager and at an amusements arcade in Leicester City centre around the same time, when staff came to my rescue in a fairly dramatic way. Those experiences - although successfully thwarted and thankfully harmless in the event - left a lot of long-lasting anger and distrust. Most of that's gone now I'm pleased to say. And, thankfully, at my age, it's unlikely to be resurrected! .
Rincewind Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 There was a programme with Fashanau a while back about his brother. I am sure there are a few. One of the players at the poker night I go to told the organiser who asked me if I had a problem. I said no of course but he came out to us because he did not want confusion or embarrassment to arise during the games. It may seem wrong to say it but I was not overly surprised. His mannerism veered that way. Hard to explain. I have friends who hug me. Does it make them gay? I'm not but my sister asked if I was a few years back. Partly because I am single and not been with many women or had a regular GF. I put that down to my shy manner and lack of confidence when younger in approaching girls or in conversation with them and others. Yet I can stand up at a open mic evening and read poetry to an audience. It is one situation I feel appreciated. I know one gay from my DNO friends. He told the rest of us during one of our radio sessions. We just said so what. It is awkward for him as he is religious but says it should not matter to HIS god as love is love regardless.
Guest BlueBrett Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 If there are top level players out there at the moment who are gay and don't want to come out due to fear of being stigmatised they are thinking about it all wrong. The first few to be open about their homosexuality will make an absolute fortune from marketing/merchandising opportunities that will inevitably arise, especially if they happen to be good looking. Not only that but they would become over night gay icons and secure a legacy for themselves that would long outlive their playing days. Obviously this kind of thing isn't for everyone but sooner or later someone will come to view their coming out potential in this way. This is assuming there are actually a load of gay players out there. There might not be many/any after all.
RonnieTodger Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 It will be a long long time before a top professional player comes out before he retires. As many have said, it's their business anyway. Generally speaking, football fans are morons and if you think that homosexual players wouldn't get any abuse, you're kidding yourselves. Imagine a gay player playing away in Russia in the Europa League.
Guest MattP Posted 4 March 2016 Posted 4 March 2016 It will be a long long time before a top professional player comes out before he retires. As many have said, it's their business anyway. Generally speaking, football fans are morons and if you think that homosexual players wouldn't get any abuse, you're kidding yourselves. Imagine a gay player playing away in Russia in the Europa League. At least a Russian would be allowed to play, imagine the World Cup in Qatar, by the laws of that land he would be executed by the state.
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