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James.

Amusing News Stories

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Posted

jYO75.jpg

Bum-driller.

Anaconda-like whoppers :laugh: :laugh:

The choice of words in there is nothing short of comedy gold, you genuinely couldn't make that shit up!

"Notorious Bum driller"

"Anaconda like whoppers"

"After he shattered Mutumba's ass"

"...downloading his sperm into my butt"

"His leaking bums"

and possibly my favourite is the use of the word "Shaftmate" in the caption.

Brilliant, just brilliant. :crylaugh:

Posted

I did actually laugh out loud. I'd read one, and then a few seconds later, I'd read another and I couldn't stop cracking up!

Posted
A British driver who thought that he had escaped the clutches of speedgun trigger-happy police in the UK when he emigrated to New Zealand was caught speeding by the same policeman who had pulled him over in London two years earlier.

Constable Andy Flitton caught the speeder and was writing his ticket when the sharp-eyed driver recognised him as the man who had booked him two years previously on the A5 flyover on Edgware Road.

"I was writing his ticket when he came over to me and said: 'Did you used to work in London?' And when I said yes, he asked if I used to operate the laser gun on the A5 in North London," Flitton said, the New Zealand Herald reported.

Cursing the spectacularly unlikely coincidence, the driver complained that he had only ever been pulled over by the same globetrotting policeman.

"And he said: 'I thought it was you – I've only been given two speeding tickets in my life and you've given me both of them,'" Flitton said.

Flitton, originally from Bedforshire, decided to leave the fast lane. Having worked for the Metropolitan police in London for 26 years, he moved to New Zealand and took up a job with the New Zealand traffic police in Rangiora, a rural town on the South Island, two years ago.

The 47-year-old had forgotten about the original booking until the man approached him while he was writing out the ticket in September.

The driver he pulled over had both South African and British licences and told the policeman he had emigrated from England only days before being caught exceeding the speed limit.

Flitton displayed little sympathy for a man he had fined twice, 11,682 miles (18,8000km) apart.

"He only ever broke the law twice, and both times I was the one to give him a ticket," he said. "It cost him £60 over there and $120 over here, so it wasn't cheap.

"I didn't recognise him at first – I dealt with thousands of people a year in London – but I found it rather amusing."

Posted

What does the word "amusing" mean in Australia ?

I find it amusing as when i first read it all i could think of was it was a head job gone wrong and the fact that most men in a reltionship get castrated but not literally

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

Pensioner in Georgia cuts Armenia off from internet

An elderly woman in Georgia is facing a prison sentence after reportedly causing internet services in neighbouring Armenia to crash.

The country found itself offline for hours on 28 March after cables linking Georgia to Armenia were damaged.

A Georgian interior ministry spokesman said a 75-year-old woman had admitted damaging fibre-optic cables while scavenging for copper.

She has been charged and reportedly faces up to three years in prison.

"Taking into account her advancing years, she has been released pending the end of the investigation and subsequent trial," spokesman Zura Gvenetadze told AFP news agency.

She had been searching for copper in the Georgian village of Ksani.

The cables, owned by the Georgian Railway Telecom company, serve eastern Georgia, Armenia and Azerbaijan.

All three wholesale internet providers in Armenia - ArmenTel, FiberNet Communication and GNC-Alfa - were unable to provide their usual service on the evening of 28 March, Armenia's Arka news agency reported.

Services were eventually restored after midnight.

One set of cables!

Posted

BBC

Apology over The Walking Dead poster gaff

An advertising firm has apologised for placing a billboard for a TV show called The Walking Dead on the side of a funeral parlour.

The unintended, "unfortunate juxtaposition" caused raised eyebrows in Consett, County Durham.

The roadside advert for the Channel 5 post-apocalyptic drama has since been removed from the exterior wall of the Co-operative Funeralcare premises.

An alternative poster has been pasted in its place.

A spokeswoman for Clear Channel, the firm responsible for the billboard, apologised.

"Clear Channel apologises for any offence caused by the unfortunate juxtaposition of this advertisement, which was certainly not intended," she said.

"We arranged to have it moved right away and it has now come down."

  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

I dunno why , but this story just struck me as amusing :D

The thought of Japanese tourists going home in shock after meeting rude French people :P

A dozen or so Japanese tourists a year have to be repatriated from the French capital, after falling prey to what's become known as "Paris syndrome".

That is what some polite Japanese tourists suffer when they discover that Parisians can be rude or the city does not meet their expectations.

The experience can apparently be too stressful for some and they suffer a psychiatric breakdown.

Around a million Japanese travel to France every year.

Shocking reality

Many of the visitors come with a deeply romantic vision of Paris - the cobbled streets, as seen in the film Amelie, the beauty of French women or the high culture and art at the Louvre.

The reality can come as a shock.

An encounter with a rude taxi driver, or a Parisian waiter who shouts at customers who cannot speak fluent French, might be laughed off by those from other Western cultures.

But for the Japanese - used to a more polite and helpful society in which voices are rarely raised in anger - the experience of their dream city turning into a nightmare can simply be too much.

This year alone, the Japanese embassy in Paris has had to repatriate four people with a doctor or nurse on board the plane to help them get over the shock.

An encounter with a rude Parisian can be a shocking experience

They were suffering from "Paris syndrome".

It was a Japanese psychiatrist working in France, Professor Hiroaki Ota, who first identified the syndrome some 20 years ago.

On average, up to 12 Japanese tourists a year fall victim to it, mainly women in their 30s with high expectations of what may be their first trip abroad.

The Japanese embassy has a 24-hour hotline for those suffering from severe culture shock, and can help find hospital treatment for anyone in need.

However, the only permanent cure is to go back to Japan - never to return to Paris.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/6197921.stm

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