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James.

Amusing News Stories

By James., in General Chat

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Zingari

Zingari

Posted
Posted

unscrupulous Devon monks causing violence in Scotland :)

Top cleric lays into Buckfast monks

A BISHOP has attacked the monks who make Buckfast, the tonic wine often blamed for Scottish street violence.

The Right Reverend Bob Gillies, the Episcopal Bishop of Aberdeen and Orkney, accused the Devon-based Benedictines behind the drink of betraying Christian values.

http://news.scotsman.com/scotland/Top-cler...fast.5988844.jp

DJ Barry Hammond

DJ Barry Hammond

Posted
Posted
That sheep was especially distressed when the trolley rolled through the meat aisle and he saw his old mate Terry wrapped up in cling film in the fridge section. Poor burger

Sorry but you should really have finished with this... sorry its taken me best part of 3 months to notice it.

samlcfc

samlcfc

Posted
Posted

Tree Hugger

A MAN has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a TREE
It is not the first bizarre sex charge to hit the headlines in Scotland.

In 2007 Steven Marshall, 19, admitted simulating sex with the pavement in Galashiels, Selkirkshire.

In the same year Robert Stewart, 53, was caught by two cleaners having sex with a bicycle in his hostel room in Ayr.

:huh:

lou

lou

Posted
Posted

Saw a programme about women that had sordid "relationships" with inanimate objects a couple of years ago on BBC? They used to meet up all over the world with like minded women... just remember one of them going to a fairground and copping off with one of the fairground rides lol Think there were some that fell in love with cars too from what I can remember.

Bizarre!

samlcfc

samlcfc

Posted
Posted
Saw a programme about women that had sordid "relationships" with inanimate objects a couple of years ago on BBC? They used to meet up all over the world with like minded women... just remember one of them going to a fairground and copping off with one of the fairground rides lol Think there were some that fell in love with cars too from what I can remember.

Bizarre!

yeh lol, i saw a bit of that. The presenter woke up in the middle of the night and filmed the guy he was reporting on outside knocking one out on the car haha

lou

lou

Posted
Posted
yeh lol, i saw a bit of that. The presenter woke up in the middle of the night and filmed the guy he was reporting on outside knocking one out on the car haha

haha yeah that was it! Think it was a VW Beetle lol

potter3

potter3

Posted
Posted

The whole part of the article about the goat is full of similar quotes. lol

It is really embarrassing," he reportedly said. "The head belongs to a man while the body is that of a goat. This is evident that an adult human being was responsible. Evil powers caused this person to lose self control.
Head Honcho

Head Honcho

Posted
Posted

Our best friend is the manager of this store and she has reacted to customer complaints.

Don't forget that these people have most probably had their pjs on in bed all night, done the housework and cooking in them and then decided to go out fooking shopping in them.

These people surely have to be the lowest form of life-would you seriously want them shopping in an aisle near you?

Rocket-Ron

Rocket-Ron

Posted
Posted
Our best friend is the manager of this store and she has reacted to customer complaints.

Don't forget that these people have most probably had their pjs on in bed all night, done the housework and cooking in them and then decided to go out fooking shopping in them.

These people surely have to be the lowest form of life-would you seriously want them shopping in an aisle near you?

I was more amused by the people shopping in there PJ's.

Infact I find it unbelievable :unsure:

My gran used to go to the shops in her slippers, but only becouse she forgot to change her footware :crylaugh:

Jimothy

Jimothy

Posted
Posted

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgo...est/8484978.stm

An Ayrshire businessman says he has been fined by the police for blowing his nose while driving.

Michael Mancini, from Prestwick, said he was sitting in stationary traffic with the handbrake on when he used a tissue to clean his nose.

He claimed he was waved over by four police officers and given a fixed penalty for not being in proper control of his car.

He has refused to pay the £60 fine and the case may now proceed to court.

The 39-year-old, who runs a furniture restoration business in Ayr, said: "The traffic was nose to tail in the high street and the traffic stopped and I thought that was quite a good time (to blow his nose).

"I stopped the van and put the handbrake on. I saw four police officers nearby. The traffic moved on and I was waved across by an officer.

"He said I was not in control of the vehicle."

Mr Mancini said he was "absolutely stunned" by the police action.

He added: "I said to the officer 'You're joking, you're having a laugh'.

"I've never been in trouble with the police. I was just completely gobsmacked. I honestly thought someone was going to run out with a camera."

Mr Mancini was fined on 26 October at the High Street in Ayr but has not paid the penalty.

His solicitor, Peter Lockhart, said he had written to the procurator fiscal on 18 January but a letter arrived the following day stating that if the fine was not paid the case would go to court.

Public interest

Mr Lockhart said: "In the letter I said - 'It should have been obvious to the officers what was going on and it beggars belief a ticket was issued'.

"I also wrote - 'We cannot see, given the circumstances of this case, that it is in the public interest'."

Mr Lockhart said he was waiting to hear if a court date has been set.

"We will be pleading on his (Mr Mancini's) behalf not guilty," he added.

A spokeswoman for Strathclyde Police said: "A 39-year-old man is the subject of a report to the procurator fiscal in connection with an alleged traffic offence."

:doh:

  • 2 weeks later...
Alexikokopops

Alexikokopops

Posted
Posted
Our best friend is the manager of this store and she has reacted to customer complaints.

Don't forget that these people have most probably had their pjs on in bed all night, done the housework and cooking in them and then decided to go out fooking shopping in them.

These people surely have to be the lowest form of life-would you seriously want them shopping in an aisle near you?

I've been shopping in my chef's trousers before, which I use as pjs if it's cold. I never realised I was the lowest form of life. SWEET.

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