macca Posted 3 February 2009 Author Share Posted 3 February 2009 I suspect a lot of you would have seen this before, but if not - it's as amusing as it's cringe-making!! http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=803902 Can you believe he did it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cisono Posted 3 February 2009 Share Posted 3 February 2009 Might have been fooled a bit more if you'd been drinking berocca beforehand! Not only that, he would have got most of those (second-hand but still good) B vitamins too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unit Posted 3 February 2009 Share Posted 3 February 2009 posting on behalf of american scott, last season we went to cov away and caught the 48 bus from town rather than shelling out an extra quid or two for the x6 (Which goes straight to cov!). The 48 took well over 2 hours and from the second the bus departed st. maggies bus station scott was moaning about needing a piss. The entertainment was unbelievable, watching him chew his fooking fist off hahahhaah... good times (for me!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoneDog Posted 4 February 2009 Share Posted 4 February 2009 I shit meself once. I was 12 and round me mates house playing subbuteo in his bedroom. The toilet at his house was downstairs right next to the living room. I felt a crap coming on but was paranoid about shitting in his toilet cos his sister was sitting on the settee and I thought she would smell it. So I held on and it got worse. I remember thinking "I'll have to go home in a minute". Anyway, we were kneeling down on his floor playing subbuteo and I scored a goal and like a twat I jumped up celebrating. Thats when it appeared. A full link, probably 6 or 7 inches! I quickly made me excuses and said see ya to me mate. I had a 20 minute walk to get home with this 'link' still in me pants. Luckily back then (mid 80's) I still wore normal briefs cos if I'd of had boxers on the crap would of gone straight down me trouser leg and ended up on his bedroom carpet. I would of been ruthlessy took the piss out of at school for another 4 years if that had happened. Anyway, on the walk home I must of looked a right twat cos I was trying to keep it from falling out me pants, down me leg and onto the pavement or squashin on me arse. In the end though (when the coast was clear) I just shook about a bit and got rid of it, legged it home and went for a wash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cider Fox Posted 4 February 2009 Share Posted 4 February 2009 I pissed myself in mcdonalds...........some tramp was takin a shit in the disabled toilets and would'nt let me in cock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ric Flair Posted 4 February 2009 Share Posted 4 February 2009 I've got two monumental stories to add to this, but I haven't got the time nor the quality to add them right now. One involved needing a wee and the other involved needing to squit me bag. They will be added within the near future. Remind me if I forget. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adam Posted 4 February 2009 Share Posted 4 February 2009 At every god damn festival:"Oh fook oh fook oh fook where's the bog roll? *Sprint sprint sprint* Oh fook not that one, ew not that one, ew not that one, OH GOD YES." Very true, was just about to post that myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinnydipper Posted 4 February 2009 Share Posted 4 February 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corky Posted 4 February 2009 Share Posted 4 February 2009 Blimey, and you got out alive?!!! I'm still here today to live the tale. I got a lot of funny looks (as well as lustful ) but I got out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macca Posted 19 April 2009 Author Share Posted 19 April 2009 I've got two monumental stories to add to this, but I haven't got the time nor the quality to add them right now.One involved needing a wee and the other involved needing to squit me bag. They will be added within the near future. Remind me if I forget. You forgot!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tevez Posted 19 April 2009 Share Posted 19 April 2009 The satisfaction of pissing on someone at a festival/concert must be brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DB11 Posted 19 April 2009 Share Posted 19 April 2009 The satisfaction of pissing on someone at a festival/concert must be brilliant. Eh?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanScott Posted 19 April 2009 Share Posted 19 April 2009 posting on behalf of american scott, last season we went to cov away and caught the 48 bus from town rather than shelling out an extra quid or two for the x6 (Which goes straight to cov!). The 48 took well over 2 hours and from the second the bus departed st. maggies bus station scott was moaning about needing a piss. The entertainment was unbelievable, watching him chew his fooking fist off hahahhaah... good times (for me!) It was too funny. The relief of a 10 minute piss in Tesco was amazing. Stopping in Nuneaton for 10 minutes was no help. The stupid bus driver wouldn't let me off for a minute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Ol' Bob Posted 20 April 2009 Share Posted 20 April 2009 I remember one year whilst away on a lads holiday (was about 18) in Norfolk (yes it's not quite ibiza) there were about 3 of us all hungover and had left the caravan early to get some fresh air. Was walking down the beach and was dying for a piss but there were no public toilets near, probably could have held on but was half asleep as it was and went directly for the beach huts. It was about 7 in the morning and there was nobody else out on the beach so thought i'd try and sneakily take a leak on the side of one of the beach huts, so I went straight for some big nice white one, possibly the most looked after by the look of it, I seem to remember appreciating the paint work as I stood there and began to let the floodgates open. Next thing I know I turn around mid-piss and stand there eye to eye with some confused looking elderly woman. She just stood staring at me, I stared at her and there was an awkward moment in which I didn't know wether to stop and run away, or to carry on as I was at the point of no return. I took the cowards option and quickly put myself away and sort of muttered "ooh sorry". She just carried on staring now looking angry and as I jogged off two kids and what was probably her husband walked round the corner of the beachhut, they then stood there looking at my puddle of piss when the old woman pointed to me jogging away and said something to her husband. I just kept running away, caught up with my mates and just carried on walking along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sir Fynwy Posted 20 April 2009 Share Posted 20 April 2009 I came perilously close to shitting myself when out running the other day - my tip to would be runners is always go for a dump first as it doesn't half loosen your bowels.The closest I've come to it was when I went out for a curry and the next morning went into town shopping early doors, without taking a precautionary crap. By the time I got to Castle Park on my way home I couldn't walk normally and how I managed to walk another half a mile without ruining my trousers I've no idea. It's probably the most frightened I've ever been Last 2 miles of the 2007 Leicester half marathon turned into a real problem for me as I desperately needed a dump, by the time I got over the finishing line I felt really ill, worst of it was hold it in seemed to block me up and I couldn't go for about 2 days afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trav Le Bleu Posted 20 April 2009 Share Posted 20 April 2009 I can see this thread is going to run and run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted 20 April 2009 Share Posted 20 April 2009 Ha well, I can't remember any times when I've nearly pissed myself but my sister actually did. We were driving back home to Leicester from my Mums in Wales and my sister needed a wee but for some reason refused to stop, we were driving for a good few hours and as we reached the top of her road I made her laugh and she pissed herself! It was hilarious! She was in her early 30's at the time as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macca Posted 20 April 2009 Author Share Posted 20 April 2009 Ha well, I can't remember any times when I've nearly pissed myself but my sister actually did. We were driving back home to Leicester from my Mums in Wales and my sister needed a wee but for some reason refused to stop, we were driving for a good few hours and as we reached the top of her road I made her laugh and she pissed herself! It was hilarious!She was in her early 30's at the time as well Did she find it as hilarious? Don't slaughter me for saying this, but that's the type of thing a girl would admit to far more than a bloke, I should think. I've never heard of, nor would I imagine I will hear of, a bloke wetting himself when not totally drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JakeShingler Posted 21 April 2009 Share Posted 21 April 2009 Any one ever soiled ya self? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr The Singh Posted 21 April 2009 Share Posted 21 April 2009 Too many times to mention, some alcohol related, some due to the fact I thought I could hold it in!! Never let a number 2 slip through though!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lookwhaticando Posted 22 April 2009 Share Posted 22 April 2009 On my return back down the embankment I got a round of applause and a crescendo of beeping horns from the assembled truckers. :laugh: Brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macca Posted 22 April 2009 Author Share Posted 22 April 2009 Any one ever soiled ya self? Have you, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welck12 Posted 22 April 2009 Share Posted 22 April 2009 When i was at college i needed a dump, but my lecturer wouldnt let me go. Now normally that wouldnt have been to bad but it was while we were about to do the Bleep test. Now anyone who has ever tried running while needing a dump can probarly imagine the agony i went through. I had to do well in the test as it counted towards our grades for the year. I got to about level 14 then had to carry on running straight out of the sports hall before i spoiled myself in front off everyone else in the course. The worst bit was that my lecturer knew i needed a crap, so once i walked back into the sports hall he had already told everyone; so i walked back in to ironic cheers and hooting all round Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilley Posted 22 April 2009 Share Posted 22 April 2009 I took a piss in a bottle in an empty carraige on the way to Peterborough because the queue for the toilet was ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billyfox1 Posted 22 April 2009 Share Posted 22 April 2009 Right now. We have a staff meeting in 2 minutes and it's probably about redundancies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.