Questions Thread

[Izzy]

4 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Sigh.

 

Has anyone on here? Have you?

Sorry, I thought you meant is it possible to self publish on Amazon 

I haven't personally but I know a couple of people who have. 

Neither of them made any money out of it though and I think only about 1-5% of authors sell more that a few hundred copies.

Have you got a book idea in mind? Or have you indeed written a book mate?

[potter3]

4 hours ago, Buce said:

 

Has anyone self-published an e-book through Amazon?

 

Might be mis-remembering who it was, but possibly @LanguedocFox?

[Carl the Llama]

Currently at my sister's wedding at a fancy old privately owned castle-cum-venue near Edinburgh.  The free wine and bubbly refills got a bit much so I slunk out to ask the porter where my room is while I could still stand. Probably the nicest hotel room I'll ever have the fortune to stay in. It's been a while now and my head's more intact so do I return to the old and new relatives with the necessary awkward conversations or do I sink further into this armchair and see how good the decanter of complimentary whisky is?

[Izzy]

12 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Currently at my sister's wedding at a fancy old privately owned castle-cum-venue near Edinburgh.  The free wine and bubbly refills got a bit much so I slunk out to ask the porter where my room is while I could still stand. Probably the nicest hotel room I'll ever have the fortune to stay in. It's been a while now and my head's more intact so do I return to the old and new relatives with the necessary awkward conversations or do I sink further into this armchair and see how good the decanter of complimentary whisky is?

Where does shagging one of the bridesmaids fit in to the nights plan?

[Carl the Llama]

1 minute ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Where does shagging one of the bridesmaids fit in to the nights plan?

Which one: The 2 up with their boyfriends or  my other sister?

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14 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Currently at my sister's wedding at a fancy old privately owned castle-cum-venue near Edinburgh.  The free wine and bubbly refills got a bit much so I slunk out to ask the porter where my room is while I could still stand. Probably the nicest hotel room I'll ever have the fortune to stay in. It's been a while now and my head's more intact so do I return to the old and new relatives with the necessary awkward conversations or do I sink further into this armchair and see how good the decanter of complimentary whisky is?

Take the decanter back to the reception, get blind drunk, insult the new in-laws, attempt to pull a bridesmaid, end up in your pants passed out in the hotel reception. Job done.

[Carl the Llama]

2 minutes ago, separator said:

Take the decanter back to the reception, get blind drunk, insult the new in-laws, attempt to pull a bridesmaid, end up in your pants passed out in the hotel reception. Job done.

But if I take the decanter down I'll have to share and see above re. Bridesmaids

[Carl the Llama]

Guys I think you've misread my intention to have internet strangers justify my decision to sample whisky and pass out.

[Izzy]

2 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Guys I think you've misread my intention to have internet strangers justify my decision to sample whisky and pass out.

I think what we're saying is get laid while you can still get it up, and then get pissed on free whiskey and pass out.

 

Unless you just don't fancy a shag tonight which is fair enough I suppose..

[Carl the Llama]

Just now, Izzy Muzzett said:

I think what we're saying is get laid while you can still get it up, and then get pissed on free whiskey and pass out.

 

Unless you just don't fancy a shag tonight which is fair enough I suppose..

Do you really think I'd waste so much time chatting with you boring lot if I had the social skills to make that a legit option?

 

I mean yes... I don't fancy a shag.

[DJ Barry Hammond]

 

So get completely drunk and then have a go with your sister? (eeewwwww!)

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1 minute ago, DJ Barry Hammond said:

 

So get completely drunk and then have a go with your sister? (eeewwwww!)

Shame the wedding's not in Norfolk, thats a pretty standard evening

[Carl the Llama]

1 minute ago, DJ Barry Hammond said:

 

So get completely drunk and then have a go with your sister? (eeewwwww!)

I said I'm in Scotland not Northamptonshire.

[Carl the Llama]

Just now, separator said:

Shame the wedding's not in Norfolk, thats a pretty standard evening

Damn, stole my punchline you arse.

[Beliall]

the following morning.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DO NOT SEARCH FOR INCEST TWEET ONLINE> i saw this on my facebook this morning, went to search for it and am utterly horrified at the results.

[DJ Barry Hammond]

 

Hang on... i popped in here to ask a serious question, not provide a crude reply to @Carl the Llama

 

Q: Has anyone on here gone to University as a mature student and if so;

• What's it like / how awkward is it?
• What did they look at from you in terms of entry requirements? 
• On the money side, was it diffcult to go from work and having some to studying and not having any at all? 
• On the attracting females side... would I potentially hold an advantage because I was a mature student? (possible fringe benefit that popped into my mind).
• Can you offer any other guidance to someone who's contemplating it?

To give some additional background... I'm 35 going on 65 and have been looking at Sports Journalism courses. I've previously worked in various finance administration roles, but that was driving me into the ground and I'm now in a position where I could make a change. 

 

I'm single with no dependents, so there's not a massive amount to stop me in that respect, but I do have a lingering thought that this could be a mid-life crisis calling (I can't afford a convertible).

 

For what it's worth, out of the Universities that run this type degree, Teeside University is interesting me, so if anyone has experiences of this particular University that they can pass on, that would be fab.

 

Thanks

[Carl the Llama]

Good questioning Barry, looking forward to the answers, reckon they could help me too.

 

13 minutes ago, Beliall said:

DO NOT SEARCH FOR INCEST TWEET ONLINE>

Oh ok I was just about to, thanks.

[DJ Barry Hammond]

 

@Carl the Llama

 

To answer your perdicament seriously... by posting on here, it suggests you would like companionship of some sort and have so far not found anything suitable in the wedding after party.

 

I can agree that in this situation, getting away from the maddening crowd for a period would be very pleasant, but come the morning you may feel it a missed opportunity if you don't at least return to the party for a little bit.

 

i therefore suggest you have a quick look in on the Tinder thread, pick up some sure fire lines from there and armed with this return to the party with renewed confidence and bag yourself a women or two (but not your sister).

 

We don't expect to hear from you until tomorrow afternoon now. Good luck!

 

P.S. If upon your return, an available women asks where you've been - that's a sure fire sign they're interested (otherwise why would they have noticed / care?) You could always, add "in my room, it's got a beautiful view... pause, and see if she invites herself for a look.

 

Edited 20 May 2017 by DJ Barry Hammond

[Carl the Llama]

3 minutes ago, DJ Barry Hammond said:

 

@Carl the Llama

 

To answer your perdicament seriously... by posting on here, it suggests you would like companionship of some sort and have so far not found anything suitable in the wedding after party.

 

I can agree that in this situation, getting away from the maddening crowd for a period would be very pleasant, but come the morning you may feel it a missed opportunity if you don't at least return to the party for a little bit.

 

i therefore suggest you have a quick look in on the Tinder thread, pick up some sure fire lines from there and armed with this return to the party with renewed confidence and bag yourself a women or two (but not your sister).

 

We don't expect to hear from you until tomorrow afternoon now. Good luck!

 

P.S. If upon your return, an available women asks where you've been - that's a sure fire sign they're interested (otherwise why would they have noticed / care?) You could always, add "in my room, it's got a beautiful view... pause, and see if she invites herself for a look.

 

Frankly it isn't me. Not a one night stand kind of guy at the best of times, least of all when I have to deal with my extended family in the morning.  That's not a bad line mind. Besides I figured I ran out of the energy for irl social interaction about an hour ago.

[Carl the Llama]

Also just found out total recall's on stv. The original version.

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2 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Also just found out total recall's on stv. The original version.

Finest scotch whiskey and a prostitute with 3 tits on the telly, thats your night sorted.

[Nalis]

In fairness to Carl the Llama its a bit difficult to pull at a family wedding because:

 

A) Its mostly other family members there and not that many single folk.

B) where there is another single person there, family might make a big deal of playing cupid (for a relationship rather than to help you get a shag) and its a bit forced/cringe.

C) dealing with the aftermath from your parents, auntie Sue and cousins from Canada the next day if they see you bringing a random girl to your room from the wedding. Hangovers are bad enough to deal with.

 

You're better off at mate's weddings, more license to be yourself with women.

[Beliall]

14 minutes ago, Nalis said:

In fairness to Carl the Llama its a bit difficult to pull at a family wedding because:

 

A) Its mostly other family members there and not that many single folk.

B) where there is another single person there, family might make a big deal of playing cupid (for a relationship rather than to help you get a shag) and its a bit forced/cringe.

C) dealing with the aftermath from your parents, auntie Sue and cousins from Canada the next day if they see you bringing a random girl to your room from the wedding. Hangovers are bad enough to deal with.

 

You're better off at mate's weddings, more license to be yourself with women.

D : people know you or have heard of you. Ruining your game

[Merging Cultures]

4 minutes ago, Beliall said:

D : people know you or have heard of you. Ruining your game

From CTL's comments, I don't think that will be a problem for him!

[DJ Barry Hammond]

2 hours ago, Nalis said:

In fairness to Carl the Llama its a bit difficult to pull at a family wedding because:

 

A) Its mostly other family members there and not that many single folk.

B) where there is another single person there, family might make a big deal of playing cupid (for a relationship rather than to help you get a shag) and its a bit forced/cringe.

C) dealing with the aftermath from your parents, auntie Sue and cousins from Canada the next day if they see you bringing a random girl to your room from the wedding. Hangovers are bad enough to deal with.

 

You're better off at mate's weddings, more license to be yourself with women.

 

If the guests are an issue, that's the time to look towards the staff!