Questions Thread

[Countryfox]

1 minute ago, Bayfox said:

Another job related one.

 

My wife works in local authority 30 hours a week and has been there about 15 years, so has worked her way up, there is nowhere else she can go in her department, she enjoys her job, and despite cuts is pretty safe and her boss has told her as much.

 

She has been offered a position in the private sector with a 12k pay rise working same hours, we would lose a little bit of that as we claim child care vouchers and get the government monthly payment, but I think she will be £500 a month better off from my calculations.

 

I want her to take the job as my business is suffering (selfish I know) but keeping a roof over our kids heads is key. She is torn, she likes the idea of a new challenge and the fact they have head hunted her and offered to let her keep reduced hours and offered such a good pay rise, but worries about leaving and not enjoying the workplace.

 

What would you advise if it was your wife, not what would you do personally. I'd jump if only for the cash.

 

Give her a good hard slap and tell her to change jobs ...   the selfish cow !!   If she refuses put some itching powder inside her chastity belt and that will soon bring her to her senses.    Women eh ?!?!

[Buce]

49 minutes ago, Bayfox said:

Another job related one.

 

My wife works in local authority 30 hours a week and has been there about 15 years, so has worked her way up, there is nowhere else she can go in her department, she enjoys her job, and despite cuts is pretty safe and her boss has told her as much.

 

She has been offered a position in the private sector with a 12k pay rise working same hours, we would lose a little bit of that as we claim child care vouchers and get the government monthly payment, but I think she will be £500 a month better off from my calculations.

 

I want her to take the job as my business is suffering (selfish I know) but keeping a roof over our kids heads is key. She is torn, she likes the idea of a new challenge and the fact they have head hunted her and offered to let her keep reduced hours and offered such a good pay rise, but worries about leaving and not enjoying the workplace.

 

What would you advise if it was your wife, not what would you do personally. I'd jump if only for the cash.

 

I'd say, go with your instincts, babe - I'll support you whatever you decide.

 

It might sound cheesy, but trust me, she'll love you for it.

[Buce]

52 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

 

Give her a good hard slap and tell her to change jobs ...   the selfish cow !!   If she refuses put some itching powder inside her chastity belt and that will soon bring her to her senses.    Women eh ?!?!

 

Just now, Buce said:

 

I'd say, go with your instincts, babe - I'll support you whatever you decide.

 

It might sound cheesy, but trust me, she'll love you for it.

 

Which one of these is getting you laid?

[Bayfox]

Certainly not the 1st  

 

And she'd know I was after something if i tried the 2nd to be fair.

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Bayfox said:

Another job related one.

 

My wife works in local authority 30 hours a week and has been there about 15 years, so has worked her way up, there is nowhere else she can go in her department, she enjoys her job, and despite cuts is pretty safe and her boss has told her as much.

 

She has been offered a position in the private sector with a 12k pay rise working same hours, we would lose a little bit of that as we claim child care vouchers and get the government monthly payment, but I think she will be £500 a month better off from my calculations.

 

I want her to take the job as my business is suffering (selfish I know) but keeping a roof over our kids heads is key. She is torn, she likes the idea of a new challenge and the fact they have head hunted her and offered to let her keep reduced hours and offered such a good pay rise, but worries about leaving and not enjoying the workplace.

 

What would you advise if it was your wife, not what would you do personally. I'd jump if only for the cash.

I'd ask her what it is specifically that she's worried about in leaving and why she thinks she might not enjoy her new workplace. 

 

Maybe she's made lifelong friends there and doesn't want to leave them? Maybe the safety of her current job and strong relationship with her boss isn't worth risking? Maybe she's also great at her current job and gets the recognition she deserves?

 

It doesn't really matter what you, I or anyone else advises because most people will just end up pleasing themselves in my experience. We might look at an extra £500 month and think it's a no brainier, but all the reasons I listed above may be worth way more to your wife than that..

[Countryfox]

1 hour ago, Buce said:

 

 

Which one of these is getting you laid?

 

Definitely mine ..  cus if she doesn't .......         I'd give her a good hard slap and ...  

 

 

19 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I'd ask her what it is specifically that she's worried about in leaving and why she thinks she might not enjoy her new workplace. 

 

Maybe she's made lifelong friends there and doesn't want to leave them? Maybe the safety of her current job and strong relationship with her boss isn't worth risking? Maybe she's also great at her current job and gets the recognition she deserves?

 

It doesn't really matter what you, I or anyone else advises because most people will just end up pleasing themselves in my experience. We might look at an extra £500 month and think it's a no brainier, but all the reasons I listed above may be worth way more to your wife than that..

 

Captain Sensible has joined the debate ...   

[Izzy]

6 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

Captain Sensible has joined the debate ...   

[Buce]

5 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

 

Definitely mine ..  cus if she doesn't .......         I'd give her a good hard slap and .. 

 

And that would be that..

 

 

Quote

 

 

Captain Sensible has joined the debate ...   

 

[Izzy]

3 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

 

 

[Jattdogg]

She could take the job and get canned or let go for a multitude of reasons at which point that £500 is a moot point.

 

Too many different what if scenarios  that are at play here which makes it tough. One could say if your business isnt doing well perhaps you should change your job not hers (if thats even possible to just drop it).

 

If she is happy and enjoys her job i wouldnt leave it because you just dont know what you are walking into. If she takes a job and feels stressed  out it can affect work performance, relationships at home etc.

 

Making ends meet is a different thing. If business  is not well  could you pickup a part time job to increase your cash or perhaps she can until business is good again?   If not then switching jobs for her is a no brainer. Gotta ensure you have food, water,  housing etc right?

 

 

Edited 12 June 2017 by Jattdogg

[Bayfox]

3 hours ago, Jattdogg said:

She could take the job and get canned or let go for a multitude of reasons at which point that £500 is a moot point.

 

Too many different what if scenarios  that are at play here which makes it tough. One could say if your business isnt doing well perhaps you should change your job not hers (if thats even possible to just drop it).

 

If she is happy and enjoys her job i wouldnt leave it because you just dont know what you are walking into. If she takes a job and feels stressed  out it can affect work performance, relationships at home etc.

 

Making ends meet is a different thing. If business  is not well  could you pickup a part time job to increase your cash or perhaps she can until business is good again?   If not then switching jobs for her is a no brainer. Gotta ensure you have food, water,  housing etc right?

 

 

Some good points all the points we have been over. 

 

To me 500 quid is not a moot point. Its 6k a year. If disciplined thats 6k of the mortgage.

 

I'm majority owner of my company so although solvent i have no idea what i could walk away with. Looked at getting out 2 years ago but the liquidation process is a complicated issue. And means i could end up banned from being a director of another business meaning setting up on my own again doing anything could be a no go.

 

And if i decided to go for a job i have no idea how that would look to employers. I've been doing the same thing since i was 19. 19 years in nov.

 

I've done the part time thing a few times but now we have 2 kids i have a different outlook on that as i need to see the kids.

 

I know i am being selfish and we are a partnership thats how our relationship works. But i feel i have done my bit over the years and now it has fell on her due to how hard she has worked to maybe help back.

 

Lifes a bitch at times. Really difficult dilemma.

 

And here's me asking for advice on ft. 

Edited 12 June 2017 by Bayfox

[Jattdogg]

48 minutes ago, Bayfox said:

Some good points all the points we have been over. 

 

To me 500 quid is not a moot point. Its 6k a year. If disciplined thats 6k of the mortgage.

 

I'm majority owner of my company so although solvent i have no idea what i could walk away with. Looked at getting out 2 years ago but the liquidation process is a complicated issue. And means i could end up banned from being a director of another business meaning setting up on my own again doing anything could be a no go.

 

And if i decided to go for a job i have no idea how that would look to employers. I've been doing the same thing since i was 19. 19 years in nov.

 

I've done the part time thing a few times but now we have 2 kids i have a different outlook on that as i need to see the kids.

 

I know i am being selfish and we are a partnership thats how our relationship works. But i feel i have done my bit over the years and now it has fell on her due to how hard she has worked to maybe help back.

 

Lifes a bitch at times. Really difficult dilemma.

 

And here's me asking for advice on ft. 

Lol.

 

Only you and your wife can figure this out based on whats best for your family.  If shes not willing to leave then perhaps she can pickup  a part time job to help more? To make up that lost 500 until things get better for you? Either way best of luck i hope things work out for your family with the least disruptions 

 

And btw 500 quid is 500 quid. I wouldnt want to pass that up either.

[Bayfox]

28 minutes ago, Jattdogg said:

Lol.

 

Only you and your wife can figure this out based on whats best for your family.  If shes not willing to leave then perhaps she can pickup  a part time job to help more? To make up that lost 500 until things get better for you? Either way best of luck i hope things work out for your family with the least disruptions 

 

And btw 500 quid is 500 quid. I wouldnt want to pass that up either.

Cheers. Noramlly we get by ok. This is the 1st time we have ever had a real dilemma. We moved 2 years ago and stretched ourselves with the mortgage. Due to some ***** of neighbours and a chance to over pay seems a good opportunity to me. But i'm very money orientated at times. Clearing debts quicker is a no brainer for me. But i'm not the one making the sacrifice this time.

[foxfanazer]

9 hours ago, Bayfox said:

Another job related one.

 

My wife works in local authority 30 hours a week and has been there about 15 years, so has worked her way up, there is nowhere else she can go in her department, she enjoys her job, and despite cuts is pretty safe and her boss has told her as much.

 

She has been offered a position in the private sector with a 12k pay rise working same hours, we would lose a little bit of that as we claim child care vouchers and get the government monthly payment, but I think she will be £500 a month better off from my calculations.

 

I want her to take the job as my business is suffering (selfish I know) but keeping a roof over our kids heads is key. She is torn, she likes the idea of a new challenge and the fact they have head hunted her and offered to let her keep reduced hours and offered such a good pay rise, but worries about leaving and not enjoying the workplace.

 

What would you advise if it was your wife, not what would you do personally. I'd jump if only for the cash.

Just subtly manipulate the situation to suit yourself but make it look like it's her decision. Simple! 

[Jattdogg]

2 hours ago, Bayfox said:

Cheers. Noramlly we get by ok. This is the 1st time we have ever had a real dilemma. We moved 2 years ago and stretched ourselves with the mortgage. Due to some ***** of neighbours and a chance to over pay seems a good opportunity to me. But i'm very money orientated at times. Clearing debts quicker is a no brainer for me. But i'm not the one making the sacrifice this time.

We are thinking of moving ourselves but very cognizant of not over stretching as well. We like to keep enough savings to cover our arses for 6 months in case we lose jobs etc. We also have been dropping money in lump sums off of mortgage each year (we dont have expensive habits so savings are easier to realize).

 

But in life doesnt matter how much you save as middle class workers (or below) there will always be trying times. 

 

The wife is going to have to understand your predicament too (with declaring bankruptcy etc) and how it could screw you long term. 

 

Tell her you will give her the best oral shes had in years (this is a one shot deal). Yes, i said one shot.

Edited 12 June 2017 by Jattdogg

[Bayfox]

7 hours ago, Jattdogg said:

We are thinking of moving ourselves but very cognizant of not over stretching as well. We like to keep enough savings to cover our arses for 6 months in case we lose jobs etc. We also have been dropping money in lump sums off of mortgage each year (we dont have expensive habits so savings are easier to realize).

 

But in life doesnt matter how much you save as middle class workers (or below) there will always be trying times. 

 

The wife is going to have to understand your predicament too (with declaring bankruptcy etc) and how it could screw you long term. 

 

Tell her you will give her the best oral shes had in years (this is a one shot deal). Yes, i said one shot.

We only moved due to having a **** of a teenager living next door to us. And i mean real willy puller. Got his house smashed after upsetting the local drug lord his mum's answer was to hit the vodka.

 

So options were move for my sanity or fill the **** in and end up in the shit myself.

[Crinklyfox]

17 hours ago, Bayfox said:

Another job related one.

 

My wife works in local authority 30 hours a week and has been there about 15 years, so has worked her way up, there is nowhere else she can go in her department, she enjoys her job, and despite cuts is pretty safe and her boss has told her as much.

 

She has been offered a position in the private sector with a 12k pay rise working same hours, we would lose a little bit of that as we claim child care vouchers and get the government monthly payment, but I think she will be £500 a month better off from my calculations.

 

I want her to take the job as my business is suffering (selfish I know) but keeping a roof over our kids heads is key. She is torn, she likes the idea of a new challenge and the fact they have head hunted her and offered to let her keep reduced hours and offered such a good pay rise, but worries about leaving and not enjoying the workplace.

 

What would you advise if it was your wife, not what would you do personally. I'd jump if only for the cash.

Another factor to consider - does the new position entail more responsibilities and potentially responsibility for staff?  If so, depending upon your wife's personality, this could either be a boon or a burden.  I used to manage people in my working life and I have known colleagues who have been very good at their job crumble when given extra responsibilities after promotion.  I have also seen colleagues blossom after they were given new opportunities.

 

If your wife is convinced that she could be capable in the new position then it may cause her later sorrow if she passes the opportunity up.  If only.....  Every job move is a risk, but if we didn't take those risks we'd never climb the career ladder and maximise our potentials.

 

My eldest son stuck to a job he was happy in for ten years, only to find last year that the site was being closed down by the company and all the staff made redundant.  He was fortunate enough to get another job he is happy in very quickly but it does go to show that the safe option is sometimes not that safe.  The only constant in life is change and what is good now may not be so in a couple of years time.

[Finnegan]

Old people ( @davieG @Webbo @Alf Bentley etc) were you just as confused about pogs and tazos as I am by fidget spinners?

 

Is that what this felt like?

[davieG]

5 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

Old people ( @davieG @Webbo @Alf Bentley etc) were you just as confused about pogs and tazos as I am by fidget spinners?

 

Is that what this felt like?

What's  a pog and tazo?

I know what a fidget spinner is, well I think I do.

[Buce]

4 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

Old people ( @davieG @Webbo @Alf Bentley etc) were you just as confused about pogs and tazos as I am by fidget spinners?

 

Is that what this felt like?

 

Yep.

 

It's all downhill from here..

[leicsmac]

18 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

Old people ( @davieG @Webbo @Alf Bentley etc) were you just as confused about pogs and tazos as I am by fidget spinners?

 

Is that what this felt like?

 

According to my better half (who through the nature of her work knows about these things) they were originally designed as a coping tool for neurally atypical kids, and she's not really impressed that everyone is using them now (for various reasons).

 

But no, broadly speaking I'm just as nonplussed about the things as you are.

[Alf Bentley]

28 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

Old people ( @davieG @Webbo @Alf Bentley etc) were you just as confused about pogs and tazos as I am by fidget spinners?

 

Is that what this felt like?

 

Like Davie, I never remember hearing the words "pog" or "tazo".

 

I know about fidget spinners as my daughter has one.

Some kids are allowed to use them in her class, others are not - presumably based on whether they have stress or concentration issues.

[Webbo]

3 hours ago, Finnegan said:

Old people ( @davieG @Webbo @Alf Bentley etc) were you just as confused about pogs and tazos as I am by fidget spinners?

 

Is that what this felt like?

Err." middle aged people".

[Alf Bentley]

39 minutes ago, Webbo said:

Err." middle aged people".

 

Speak for yourself. I'm old. In fact, I'm the oldest swinger in town - and I'm not Tony (or Julie) Wadsworth, before you ask.

 

Here's footage of a recent occasion when I met up with DavieG:

 

 

[davieG]

1 hour ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Speak for yourself. I'm old. In fact, I'm the oldest swinger in town - and I'm not Tony (or Julie) Wadsworth, before you ask.

 

Here's footage of a recent occasion when I met up with DavieG:

 

 

Too much hair for me apart from that spot on, oh wait perhaps that's when I use to bother about my looks and wore a wig.