Limericks. Post Them Here.

[Webbo]

Couple of old ones;

 

There was a young woman from Leeds

Who swallowed a packet of seeds

In less than an hour

Her tits were in flower

And her fanny was covered in weeds.

 

 

A policeman from Clapham Junction

Had a penis that just wouldn't function

For all of his life

He fooled his poor wife

With some snot on the end of his truncheon .

[cambridgefox]

Could put this in the kids thread too.

There once was a lady called Pat

Who had triplets Matt,Rat and Tat

She said" it was fun in the breeding

But hell in the feeding"

As she found she had no tit for tat

[Guest MattP]

Adbul could not give a toss,

She was 13 and seemed to be lost

He put on some glitter,

Took her up the shitter,

And went for a drive to the mosque.

[Strokes]

There was an old liberal called ken

Who was once mistaken for xen

He said 'oh don't worry'

I occasionly eat a curry

And his blushes couldnt be spared by his pen.

[Guest MattP]

A man couldn't stay off the booze,

So much he missed the big snooze,

We plied him with horses

But job centre courses,

That's certainly not something he'll choose.

[Guest MattP]

A man lived his life on the sick,

Most knew he was taking the mick,

Though I don't know the facts,

I'm sure he's on crack,

But maybe he's just a bit thick.

[Rincewind]

I'll stop doing limericks about people on here

Accusations of cyber bullying is the fear

So my scribblings will stop

Whilst I am on top

And now I think I'll  go out for a beer.

[Guest MattP]

Three hours sat on a chair,

It still hadn't dawned we're off air,

IIt's not black and white,

The cuts made us shite,

Panj Pani has had another mare.

[Strokes]

There was a young man named mido

Who was fraudulently claiming UK giro

Are the dwp really thick

Coz this will make you feel sick

They wired the money straight to him in Cairo.

[Guest MattP]

Well I'm off out to look for some graft,

Not really, you having a laugh?

Me have a boss?

Yeah in the High Cross,

Now give me some more booze and fags.

[Guest MattP]

Listeners let me tell you a story,

About an evil man surely a Tory,

Though I don't know the facts,

He doesn't pay tax,

And he's guilty if I'm on the jury.

[Guest MattP]

31 years in a factory,

Worse than a toilet at Glastonbury,

Went out on strike,

They put up a fight,

A paycheck? Shut up, that's blasphemy.

[Trav Le Bleu]

MattP was becoming a  lurker

And so he put on a burqa

What a daft knob

It cost him his job

And now he's a job centre shirker.

[notnow john]

A travelling rep from the fens

Bought his wife a Mercedes Benz

The SLK-C

Ran into his knee

And now she's living at Kens

[Dan]

Jack Wilshere's gone for a smoke

They say he's a racist bloke

But the big question is

Could he do all of this

On a cold Tuesday night in Stoke?

[Webbo]

Mister Trav Le Bleu

There's nothing he cannot do

No one is better

At posting a letter

But when it comes to poetry he's poo.

[Merging Cultures]

There was a guy called Webbo

His power went to his heado

He closed lots of threads

and reported some dreads

but screwed over the people who cared'oh

[Webbo]

There was a guy called Webbo

His power went to his heado

He closed lots of threads

and reported some dreads

but screwed over the people who cared'oh

Seriously? Does it bother you that much?

[Harry - LCFC]

This is the most immature thread I have ever seen.

[Merging Cultures]

There was a guy called Webbo

Who clearly couldn't watch a vid'oh

He is a mod, 

who is quite odd

and couldn't comprehend'oh

[Merging Cultures]

There was a mod called Webbo

who used to close lots of threads'oh

his power went to his head

and now FT's almost dead

if only he had a sense of humo.

 

Sorry Webbo, I know you didn't mean to be a pain in the arse... it's just that the limerick thread is still open...

[Jimothy]

There was a mod called Webbo

who used to close lots of threads'oh

his power went to his head

and now FT's almost dead

if only he had a sense of humo.

Sorry Webbo, I know you didn't mean to be a pain in the arse... it's just that the limerick thread is still open...

There was a poster called BaltimoreBlue

Who didn't know what to do

He searched for a thread

About "What the fox the said"

Couldn't find, so started one anew

[cambridgefox]

This is the most immature thread I have ever seen.

Poo bum willy head!

[Merging Cultures]

There was a poster called BaltimoreBlue

Who didn't know what to do

He searched for a thread

About "What the fox the said"

Couldn't find, so started one anew

 

Love it!!

[cambridgefox]

There was a young man named mido

Who was fraudulently claiming UK giro

Are the dwp really thick

Coz this will make you feel sick

They wired the money straight to him in Cairo.

There once was a fellow called Strokes

Who didn't like women but blokes

He knelt on the table

All willing and able

Charging 3 pound 50 for pokes

Sorry Strokes