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tom27111

Dilemma

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Posted

OK, so as they do in Family Guy, list a dilemma and choose your outcome....

You can sleep with Taylor Swift 3 times, has to be in a month. As soon as the third time is done, you have your legs chopped off.

Or... You have to be in a sexually active relationship with Wayne Rooney. For a year. He can spend his money on you but you're his bitch. It's also widely publicised in the press. So everyone knows about it.

I'm learning how to use a wheelchair.

Any others?

Posted

shag Taylor Swift twice. Keep legs.

 

Nope you lose your legs at the end of the month anyway and miss out on a shag with Swifty.

 

To be honest Taylor Swift  doesn't really do it for me, and I reckon Rooney would want to have sex with me about as much as I would want to have sex with him, not very much, he would keep me around as obviously that is the legally binding terms of this contract, but any initial  sexual curiosity would soon die, hopefully before the first penetrative act, as neither of us would really be into it. He would go back to Coleen/grannies and I would have my legs and access to his fortune. The only Caveat is that Ronney is not allowed to use his money to get a plastic surgeon to turn me into some weird sexy granny. 

Posted

Does anyone find Taylor Swift attractive enough to sacrifice there legs for 3 sexual acts?

 

She's no Karlie Kloss.

Posted

I can't think of a woman I'd sacrifice my own legs for too sleep with. Like seriously for that you must have to really fancy them.

 

I don't think this is such a dilemma. I mean, you're stuck in a burning building that's a dilemma.

Posted

Sell the 3 shags with Taylor Swift to Rooney for an exorbitant price, walk off on my own legs and start spending his money as I choose.

 

After 3 shags with Rooney, Swift would be gagging for me anyway.

 

Edit: Of course, Rooney would lose his legs, but his footballing career is drawing to a close, anyway, so he could target the Paralympics.

Posted

both 4/10's so I will take Rooney n his cash

Posted

Do I get robotic legs, or do I have to use some crappy second-hand wheelchair?

With the money you'd make selling your story to the tabloids and your sextape with Taylor all over the Internet, you could have your pick of the best robotic legs in the world.

Posted

My Dilemma?

 

Wear espadrilles on the beach on my walk into town for a drink this morning and get sand in them or not wear shoes and get cold feet?

Posted

Do I get anaesthetic for the leg chopping or is it like something out of the film Hostel?

 

and define sexually active? How many times a month are we talking?

 

This requires some deep thought.

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