Working abroad

[foxoffderby]

I start a new job tomorrow I will be based in Denmark for five months then back in the UK. I'm a bit nervous leaving the wife and my 12 year old behind but I will be back at weekends so I can still go footy. Just wondering how many other people work abroad and commute back to the UK on a regular basis? How do you cope with leaving family behind? My wife and son say they are fine with it but I'm still worried about not being there if they need me. Any advice or experiences would be appreciated. 

[Unabomber]

Sounds pretty cool what are you doing?

[inckley fox]

I used to do it. The time you spend with them will be the best time you've ever spent with them, you'll really appreciate it. They will too. Your 12 year old will be fine. Lots of 12 year olds don't see their dads for months at a time, years on end. It's a small thing and it'll brace him/her well for later life.

 

When the five months are over the reunion will be all the sweeter.

 

I wouldn't spend too much time on the phone or skyping or whatever, though, otherwise you won't make the most of what should be an interesting experience. Give yourself a few weekends in Denmark too, so you can get to know your new home. Otherwise you feel like a prisoner who's let out at the weekends. The folks back home will understand, I suspect.

 

This is what worked for me, by the way. I know it sounds very imperative what I'm saying, but I'm not arrogant enough to believe that there aren't other things that work for other people, or circumstances which differ from mine.

[Strokes]

2 hours ago, foxoffderby said:

I start a new job tomorrow I will be based in Denmark for five months then back in the UK. I'm a bit nervous leaving the wife and my 12 year old behind but I will be back at weekends so I can still go footy. Just wondering how many other people work abroad and commute back to the UK on a regular basis? How do you cope with leaving family behind? My wife and son say they are fine with it but I'm still worried about not being there if they need me. Any advice or experiences would be appreciated. 

I've not worked abroad since having the kids but I regularly work and stop away from home for weeks on end. It's no bother really and you/they soon adapt, if you return home with gifts they will always look forward to you coming back  

[Nick]

I was just about to do some work in the British Overseas Territories.... I'm guessing Irma has put an to that contract or at least put it on hold!

[SemperEadem]

It is something I would love to do.

[Crinklyfox]

12 hours ago, foxoffderby said:

I start a new job tomorrow I will be based in Denmark for five months then back in the UK. I'm a bit nervous leaving the wife and my 12 year old behind but I will be back at weekends so I can still go footy. Just wondering how many other people work abroad and commute back to the UK on a regular basis? How do you cope with leaving family behind? My wife and son say they are fine with it but I'm still worried about not being there if they need me. Any advice or experiences would be appreciated. 

If you're back each weekend then the period away should be manageable.  I spent quite a bit of my working life on short-term jobs overseas (and the occasional long one).  Leaving the family is hard but you have the advantage of being a short plane journey away so could return home at any time if needed.

[Merging Cultures]

5 months will fly by. 

 

My family are with me, but I worked abroad by myself (too far to get back at weekends!) and I concur with what @inckley fox says about ensuring you get out and about while in a different country. I tell interns that come here to make sure they say "yes" to dinners, trips out etc. that they get invited to so they can make the most of the experience. Otherwise they might as well be back home doing the work.

[foxoffderby]

14 hours ago, Unabomber said:

Sounds pretty cool what are you doing?

I'm a telecoms engineer and part of a team installing new data cabling as well as telephones and pc's at various new buildings in locations around Denmark.

[foxoffderby]

What are peoples experiences of Denmark ? the food the culture  places to see etc. I've heard the beer is expensive 

[Steven]

5 minutes ago, foxoffderby said:

What are peoples experiences of Denmark ? the food the culture  places to see etc. I've heard the beer is expensive 

Ask Shen?

[Milo]

Good luck with coming home at the weekends and going to watch the football, by the way!! 

 

Sounds great - 5 months is easily manageable. I worked away for 10 years, 6 months away and 2 months home. 6 of those years I was in a relationship with my (now) wife. It was the days before Skype, etc so really only spoke once a week. 

 

Most of my peer group barely see the kids during the week anyway - leave by 6.30 and back home about 8. 

 

Sounds like a great experience, especially if your wife is cool with it. 

 

For what it's worth, my experience of Denmark is excellent. Pricey, but nice people and clean, healthy environment...although you might try and get the summer gig next time..!!

 

 

 

[simFox]

Crikey, that's a doddle!

 

You'll hardly miss them when you get to go home every weekend. Plus Denmark is a nice place!

 

I work overseas, I'm supposed to do 4 weeks on 4 off, but then it became 6 on 2 off, now it's closer to 12 weeks, 10 days off, sometimes more. Most Ive done is 159 days, currently on track for 130.

 

While I'm away I work every day, including weekends. I'm also not allowed to leave the camp as it's not secure, so I just travel from work to camp.

 

Only plus side is we get all the sports channels, so I can choose any game during the goal rush.

 

 

[Captain...]

The fact it has a fixed time frame should make it ok. 5 months is manageable especially if you get weekends home and you get to look  forwards to completing the job as you get to go home, you should try and get them out to see you for a weekend, or longer, like at half term. I assume you won't be out there over Christmas.

 

I've done a number of projects away but normally 1 week away 1 week home, but some times 2-3 weeks away and sometimes including weekends. The toughest was taking a job in England a leaving a girlfriend in Spain. I only saw her once a month, it was only supposed to be for 6 months, but then I  took another job in England and we split up, but we were not in a long term relationship like you. One mistake to avoid is calling/skyping too often and for too long. You end up feeling obliged to talk and annoyed if she isn't available, yet you have little to talk about. Don't get into a routine that neither of you enjoy.

 

Denmark is a nice place, bloody expensive but if work is picking up the tab then it isn't so much of an issue, if you are in Copenhagen there is plenty to occupy yourself in the evening so you are not missing the family too much, might be harder in a more remote place. Bring back lots of the Christmas beer it is excellent and they do sweets called spunk which is hilarious.

[foxoffderby]

4 minutes ago, simFox said:

Crikey, that's a doddle!

 

You'll hardly miss them when you get to go home every weekend. Plus Denmark is a nice place!

 

I work overseas, I'm supposed to do 4 weeks on 4 off, but then it became 6 on 2 off, now it's closer to 12 weeks, 10 days off, sometimes more. Most Ive done is 159 days, currently on track for 130.

 

While I'm away I work every day, including weekends. I'm also not allowed to leave the camp as it's not secure, so I just travel from work to camp.

 

Only plus side is we get all the sports channels, so I can choose any game during the goal rush.

 

 

yeah I suppose coming back at weekends is a major plus point and its not far at all in terms of flight times. Glad they've got all the footy!

[foxoffderby]

3 minutes ago, Captain... said:

The fact it has a fixed time frame should make it ok. 5 months is manageable especially if you get weekends home and you get to look  forwards to completing the job as you get to go home, you should try and get them out to see you for a weekend, or longer, like at half term. I assume you won't be out there over Christmas.

 

I've done a number of projects away but normally 1 week away 1 week home, but some times 2-3 weeks away and sometimes including weekends. The toughest was taking a job in England a leaving a girlfriend in Spain. I only saw her once a month, it was only supposed to be for 6 months, but then I  took another job in England and we split up, but we were not in a long term relationship like you. One mistake to avoid is calling/skyping too often and for too long. You end up feeling obliged to talk and annoyed if she isn't available, yet you have little to talk about. Don't get into a routine that neither of you enjoy.

 

Denmark is a nice place, bloody expensive but if work is picking up the tab then it isn't so much of an issue, if you are in Copenhagen there is plenty to occupy yourself in the evening so you are not missing the family too much, might be harder in a more remote place. Bring back lots of the Christmas beer it is excellent and they do sweets called spunk which is hilarious.

thanks capo that's really useful. Will be about 40mins from Copenhagen there will be 4 other lads with me so that will be good. Won't be using the phone much will stick to texting. Gonna have to get those sweets for the mrs  she has got a really sweet tooth  

[jonthefox]

6 hours ago, foxoffderby said:

What are peoples experiences of Denmark ? the food the culture  places to see etc. I've heard the beer is expensive 

Well, Copenhagen was a blast last November.

[fuchsntf]

On Tuesday, September 12, 2017 at 13:40, foxoffderby said:

thanks capo that's really useful. Will be about 40mins from Copenhagen there will be 4 other lads with me so that will be good. Won't be using the phone much will stick to texting. Gonna have to get those sweets for the mrs  she has got a really sweet tooth  

I suppose you are into your first few weeks away from home, I hope you are enjoying, new country ,new and different People.I spent all my working life travelling and working in the field, or Long years foreign Projects.

 

I have a great marriage > still < , with 4 kids. I used the time away, and you have to forget them while doing the job, AND on some weekends, so you yourself can expand your foreign social experiences.This in turn will help you pay back your family, with gained maturity and perspectives.Plus if you take your work n travel further into your life,

or even A longtime/few years living abroad, will help you share these chosen foreign-fields

With your wife and kids.

I got lucky, while finishing my house, leaving the family alone for over a 18months, I did a project for my firm in USA Chicago, living and renting a home. The family stayed here in Germany, but it meant, after working out a Wage-social  full packet with My firm, I was able

To get my wife and family, over to the USA on 3-4trips, which in normal circumstances, I could

Never afford...Plus it was before Skype.

That allowed us also to have a great 4 weeks in Michigan and Canada,together.  

( I had 6 wks, plus overtime days , for my Yearly holiday gratuation)

My wife and I had has youngsters travelled USA and other parts of the the world h as trekkers ,

Backpacker, and expidition veterans.So after getting into that 'Family-settling-down' period, it was still possible to do and carry on  the travel-work-business-travel, part of our lives.

 

We have not ended up rich, still paying mortgage the kids now all grown up, have their normal lives, One with Hubby and baby, carry on the family exploits of work n travel, they are are using the baby-pause to

Travel through east Asia, at present Just finished with S.korea now in Japan.The others still travel, according to their budgets.

My wife n I, we have done the far stretches/corners of the world, we look now to those closer

Treasures, we Lived  in France so no rush there , but now enjoy the likes Rome, beautifull Toskana ,Greece , not yet done Venice.

 

If this is a one off, squeeze out the whole experience, for self and family, or if possible use it as

Your springboard to more work-travel pool, and dive right in...Missing your wife and kid is normal, but they will enjoy and relax individual time alone, then the treasured time together, become extea special and builds part of the family history.....Dont forget the camera, and go away from tourist spots and find the local life and hidden siteseeing suprises.

Oh...learn other languages basics.

 

 

 

 

[The Year Of The Fox]

The spunk bar in Copenhagen was class during the CL trip ?