The joke thread

[Danno]

Robin Williams dead. Police suspect arson, but I Doubtfire.

[Trav Le Bleu]

I asked Bonnie Tyler if she would like some chocolate yesterday, and she said she would love some.

 

So I offered her a Bounty, but she refused, a Mars bar was refused and so was a Galaxy.

 

I asked her just exactly what kind of chocolate she would like. She replied that she would like some chocolate with bubbles in it.

 

Turns out she was holding out for an aero.

Edited 12 August 2014 by Trav Le Bleu

[Beliall]

I asked Bonnie Tyler if she would like some chocolate yesterday, and she said she would love some.

So I offered her a Bounty, but she refused, a Mars bar was refused and so was a Galaxy.

I asked her just exactly what kind of chocolate she would like. She replied that she would like some chocoalte with bubble in it.

Turns out she was holding out for an aero.

So bad its good

[Trav Le Bleu]

Frank Maloney is very upset today as Robin Williams was a big influence on him.

[Tielemans63]

I asked Bonnie Tyler if she would like some chocolate yesterday, and she said she would love some.

 

So I offered her a Bounty, but she refused, a Mars bar was refused and so was a Galaxy.

 

I asked her just exactly what kind of chocolate she would like. She replied that she would like some chocolate with bubbles in it.

 

Turns out she was holding out for an aero.

 

I bought Bonnie Tyler’s old car on ebay a few months ago.

It’s bloody awful, every now and then it falls apart.

[Trav Le Bleu]

I bought Bonnie Tyler’s old car on ebay a few months ago.

It’s bloody awful, every now and then it falls apart.

 

Fair's fair though, cos every now and then you get a little bit closer.

[Parafox]

Fair's fair though, cos every now and then you get a little bit closer.

 

And then you turn around, bright eyes.

[Buce]

And then you turn around, bright eyes.

Bright eyes, burning like fire...

[jonthefox]

Bright eyes, burning like fire...

Fire , I beg you to burn.

Edited 14 August 2014 by jonthefox

[Trav Le Bleu]

Fire , I beg you to burn.

 

Burn baby burn.

[Trav Le Bleu]

Anyone heard about the dyslexic who went to a funeral because he though it would be real fun?

[jonthefox]

Burn baby burn.

Baby, I'm your man.

[Trav Le Bleu]

Baby, I'm your man.

 

Man, I feel like a woman.

[Webbo]

Anyone heard about the dyslexic who went to a funeral because he though it would be real fun?

Or the dyslexic devil worshipper won sold his soul to Santa?

[Beliall]

Was that the same guy lay up all night wondering if there was a dog, before getting horny and heading to a warehouse?

[jonthefox]

Man, I feel like a woman.

Cos I'm a woman , W-O-M-A-N

[Stadt]

and the stupid w*nker chipped it

[Guest]

is this still the joke thread?

[jonthefox]

I've just been on the diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accepted cookies.

[Rincewind]

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."
The robber then shot him in the temple, killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

 

 

Goodnight all nighters.

[broughtonblue]

As reports continue to grow about the nature of 'the material' taken from cliff Richards home, we can only hope it's not new songs!

[Webbo]

I've decided to sell my Hoover.

Well, it was just collecting dust.

Edited 19 August 2014 by Webbo

[RonnieTodger]

Beat me to it! Someone's a Tim Vine fan 

[Nick]

"I wrote a joke about a fat badger - but I couldn't fit it in to the set"

 

T. Vine.

[Jimothy]

"I wrote a joke about a fat badger - but I couldn't fit it in to the set"

T. Vine.

That one wasn't Vine, it was Masai Graham.