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Darkzzz_

My Missus is great because....

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Posted
My missus, and women in general.

Don't get me started.

:angry::@:cry:

Posted
my missus comes to every game with me, eve tho she doesnt really like football. That's 90 mins of hoofball and she never moans, fantastic!

Is that your Missus in your avatar? :mellow:

QUOTE (dannyuk1982 @ Nov 26 2007, 06:33 PM)

That's 90 mins of sex and she never moans.

:crylaugh::crylaugh::crylaugh: Is it me or is Bert turning into the funniest poster ?

Bert is NOT funny.

He gets someone else to post for him.

Love you really Bertpops!!!!

My other half is GREAT! !!!!

I love him.

Posted
You can't call you Wii your "missus".

lol

:thumbup:

My missus, and women in general.

Don't get me started.

Your missus is German :thumbup:

Posted

i think i posted this in a thread some months back but this one is specifially about the Missus so:

A couple of years ago i was dating a Danish girl... lovely lass, things were going great... i even got taken to denmark to meet the family...

Things were going so well i even thought i would share with her another great love of my life- Leicester City

Now some of you will know what i mean... when you love a girl so much you are willing to let your two worlds merge.. so i finally asked her if she wanted to come to a City game...

Her response...

" Can i bring a book?"

:blink::o:cry:

We broke up about a year after that.

  • 2 years later...
Posted

My missus is great because she really slacks off on the us-getting-together bit, and I don't care whatever it is she's up to, because not taking her out saves me a lot of money.

Posted

I worry about mine, I've recruited way above myself.

Chances of bagging another eight out of ten are slim to nil, she goes, I'm settling for either:

a) a lovely seven

b) a succession of mediocre fives

c) a line of drunken flings with a tonne of threes

d) turning into Lamby

The prospect of c / d is why I love my missus.

Posted

My missus is great because she really slacks off on the us-getting-together bit, and I don't care whatever it is she's up to, because not taking her out saves me a lot of money.

:huh: Are you Uncle Scrooge being cheated on, mate?

Posted

i think i posted this in a thread some months back but this one is specifially about the Missus so:

A couple of years ago i was dating a Danish girl... lovely lass, things were going great... i even got taken to denmark to meet the family...

Things were going so well i even thought i would share with her another great love of my life- Leicester City

Now some of you will know what i mean... when you love a girl so much you are willing to let your two worlds merge.. so i finally asked her if she wanted to come to a City game...

Her response...

" Can i bring a book?"

:blink::o:cry:

We broke up about a year after that.

The worst I had was an ex who thought it was more fun/important to try and keep hold of a money spider she found on her seat for 90 minutes rather than watch the match. It managed to escape her 5 minutes before the end and probably got trampled to death - better fate than I had with her

Guest ttfn
Posted

I've not bothered taking my mrs to the football since she spent 45 minutes buying a half time Yorkie at Leicester v Hereford a couple of years back.

You'd like to think it took her so long because they refused to sell it to her.

Posted

My g/f was crying after we lost in the Play off semi finals, she had not even heard of Leicester City (she's Mexican) until we met 3 years ago and I started the long process of indoctrination.

Posted

She has learnt everything she knows from me ;)

No seriously, the list is wayyyyy too long.. but..if nothing else she got me off my arse and moved us back here... of course if things dont work out :whistle:lol

Posted

THE ESSENTIAL WIFE

====================

What wondrous secret holds the key,

To a happily married life?

First essential, surely,

Is to take a selfless wife…

A girl whos mindful what you are,

And picks her wedding day,

With regard to footballs fixture list,

So to miss when your team plays…

A girl who chooses holidays,

According to a look…

Not at sunkist beaches,

But at wheres the next World Cup…

A girl who cleans and washes,

And prepares such gourmet grub,

And buys a home, not near mum and dad,

But by a decent Real Ale pub…

Cos marriages can last for years,

Yet I urge you, though it may sound strange,

Never marry for beauty or brains,

But a girl who dont want you to change…

THRACIAN

=========

Posted

My missus, and women in general.

Don't get me started.

Thank fcuk I'm not still with her.

Never marry for beauty or brains,

But a girl who don’t want you to change…

Oh dear.

Posted

There have been allagations that this is fake...

The Good Wife's Guide

From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

this is the supposed original article http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/images/goodwifeguide.gif

( although note the day is friday the 13th!)

Posted

If she'd been willing to try being 'a little bit gay' things may've been very different!

I wonder if someone has been circulating this to some of those Thai lady boys....

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