Gary speed - RIP

[kingfox]

Forget my comments about Andy then, was just thinking of him and what Pearson might do about him on Tuesday.

But if it is depression, it has run in my family and it is a very hard thing to deal with, it can affect people in many different ways.

Many footballers have had it including players some people have mentioned like Enke and Collymore.

It's just sad to see someone go in that way.

[Filbert_Ross]

Does it seem to be down to depression then, or will something else come out?

[Father Ted]

Obviously a massive shock but I will rarely say RIP to anybody who takes their own life. If he had a major mental problem then fair enough but he never came across like that type of guy. If its over something petty then I sympathise greatly with his family but have no respect for him.

[Bert]

Has it been confirmed that he was a sufferer of depression or are people just jumping the gun?

[Filbert_Ross]

Has it been confirmed that he was a sufferer of depression or are people just jumping the gun?

gun i think.

[leicesterisme]

Just listened to a interview with Dan Walker. He was talking about how only yesterday Speed was telling him how good his two lads were at football and about a Golf day he was playing in next week.

Absolutely unbelievable. Such sad news.

[I am Rod Hull]

Has it been confirmed that he was a sufferer of depression or are people just jumping the gun?

This is what i`m thinking. I think there`s more to this than meets the eye. Apparently, a tabloid news paper had something on him, apparently....

[AoWW]

Such sad, sad news - truly tragic that, for whatever reasons, he felt the need to take his own life... he always seemed like one of the good guys.

My thoughts are with his family and friends - you can only assume that to them this news is completely incomprehensible.

Seeing Shay Given in tears earlier today really brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye.

RIP (often overused, but such an appropriate sentiment given the circumstances)

[EnderbyFox]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/danwalker/2011/11/gary_speed_leaves_a_huge_whole.html

A touching blog from Dan Walker talking about what Gary had said to him on Football Focus yesterday. All seems so strange and sudden

I have no idea where to start this blog, what to say in the middle and how to finish it. This will probably be a stream of consciousness.

I spent four hours with Gary Speed on Saturday. He was our guest on Football Focus and was in great form. I've met and interviewed him on many occasions. I always found him to be kind, funny, intelligent and insightful.

On Saturday he was cracking jokes with Gary McAllister, his midfield partner from the title-winning Leeds side of 1991-92.

Off-air we talked about playing golf, how good his boys were at football and his dreams of taking Wales to the World Cup in 2014.

He was always interested in what you were up to. He would say: "How are you finding Sheffield, Dan? Are you and the kids settling in OK?" That was part of his charm - he cared.

One of the production team went to the same school as Gary in North Wales and they were talking about the day the Queen turned up. A picture, taken of Gary with fellow alumni Michael Owen and Her Majesty, is still proudly shown in reception.

Gary was genuinely loved in the game. In the last few hours you will have heard more qualified accounts and memories from fellow managers, players, friends and fans talking of how much he meant to them and what he did for their club. There have been tributes and flowers left across the country and tears shed throughout the football family.

After Focus we recorded a 10-minute piece with Gary talking about Wales qualifying campaign for the next World Cup. He spoke with passion about the fixtures and desire to see success. His hope was that the upturn in form would see his team playing in front of full stadia again. He joked about Team GB and how Scotland would be an easy game, McAllister giggled.

Those words and hopes for the future seem so poignant now. There was certainly no hint of any troubles or any indication of what was going to happen a few hours later.

"I'm just popping upstairs to see Al [shearer], Dan. I'll see you up there in a mo," he said after the show.

I joined Gary in the Match of the Day production office a few minutes later where he was chatting with Shearer, Mark Lawrenson and McAllister.

They were having a laugh and watching the Stoke v Blackburn game. Alan and Gary were organising when they were going to see each other next before Shearer left to go to watch Manchester United v Newcastle at Old Trafford. They all ribbed Alan for his comedy hat that later featured on MOTD.

I was going home to Sheffield so I said my goodbyes. Gary gave me a warm handshake and said "thanks for today Dan".

"We might even have you on again soon," I joked.

When I got the news on Sunday morning I was stunned. I still can't get my head around it.

This is not the time to go into the reasons behind it all. I know people are talking about depression and other issues but we will have to wait to know the whole - probably very sad - truth.

This is the time to say that all our thoughts and prayers are with his family. This is the time to say I found him to be a top bloke and really enjoyed his company.

He leaves a huge hole in football. He seemed to have everything in front of him - two boys he loved, physical fitness and, at just 42, a promising future as manager of Wales. But Gary Speed is gone and I miss him.

Edited 27 November 2011 by EnderbyFox

[Narborough_fox]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/danwalker/2011/11/gary_speed_leaves_a_huge_whole.html

A touching blog from Dan Walker talking about what Gary had said to him on Football Focus yesterday. All seems so strange and sudden

I've got a tear in my eye after reading that.

[Babylon]

Obviously a massive shock but I will rarely say RIP to anybody who takes their own life. If he had a major mental problem then fair enough but he never came across like that type of guy. If its over something petty then I sympathise greatly with his family but have no respect for him.

Just because someone doesn't regularly battle with depression, doesn't mean that a single even cannot plunge them into a despair they feel they have no other way of deal with.

I have been around several cases of actual and attempted suicide. (I should add i'm no expert, this is friends and family i'm walking about) From people who had suffered decade long battles with depression, to someone who was disabled and no longer wanted to live that type of life. And most recently someone who's life was shattered when their partner and children left them.

Just because me, you, and others can deal with problems does not mean everybody is able to. People don't kill themselves over things that are petty. Whilst you may think it is, to the person involved it can be a soul destroying event they mentally cannot deal with.

We live in a society where everything is labeled as some kind of illness. (Disruptive in class, of he's got ADHD etc) Yet people still seem to sneer at those who take their own life, when in almost all cases it is linked to a mental illness of some kind.

Edited 27 November 2011 by Babylon

[HEGGSY]

Just noticed - cheers for putting RIP on the thread title mods, completely forgot in all the confusion and shock earlier

[Ozwin]

Has it been confirmed he had depression then? Don't want to speak ill of the dead or anything but we don't know all the facts yet.

Either way RIP, proper footballing man, will be missed from the game tremendously.

[acooling08]

Do not mean to be disrespectful to Gary at all, but I don't understand how people using this forum can cry over his death. Obviously it is a big loss to football and his family but I don't understand the emotion over a man none of us ever met. I can understand players who played with him or were managed by him being very upset but not every Joe Bloggs football fan. I mean, no one cries during the minutes silence on 11/11 apart from relatives of dead soldiers. Just seems a bit OTT.

Anyway, thoughts are with his family. No doubt he'll be remembered as a very decent player.

[Bert]

Do not mean to be disrespectful to Gary at all, but I don't understand how people using this forum can cry over his death. Obviously it is a big loss to football and his family but I don't understand the emotion over a man none of us ever met. I can understand players who played with him or were managed by him being very upset but not every Joe Bloggs football fan. I mean, no one cries during the minutes silence on 11/11 apart from relatives of dead soldiers. Just seems a bit OTT.

Anyway, thoughts are with his family. No doubt he'll be remembered as a very decent player.

Maybe it brings back memories closer to home for some of the forum members?

I think many people were shocked that a person who had everything, (or at least it seemed) came across so well, was very well respected and only seen right as rain on tv yesterday could do something like this.

[StanSP]

Do not mean to be disrespectful to Gary at all, but I don't understand how people using this forum can cry over his death. Obviously it is a big loss to football and his family but I don't understand the emotion over a man none of us ever met. I can understand players who played with him or were managed by him being very upset but not every Joe Bloggs football fan. I mean, no one cries during the minutes silence on 11/11 apart from relatives of dead soldiers. Just seems a bit OTT.

Anyway, thoughts are with his family. No doubt he'll be remembered as a very decent player.

Perhaps he was a role model to some? Perhaps the shock of it all. Perhaps it makes people think about problems closer to home or even just makes them reminisce of watching him?

I think a lot of it is to do with the unexpected aspect.

[AoWW]

Do not mean to be disrespectful to Gary at all, but I don't understand how people using this forum can cry over his death. Obviously it is a big loss to football and his family but I don't understand the emotion over a man none of us ever met. I can understand players who played with him or were managed by him being very upset but not every Joe Bloggs football fan. I mean, no one cries during the minutes silence on 11/11 apart from relatives of dead soldiers. Just seems a bit OTT.

Anyway, thoughts are with his family. No doubt he'll be remembered as a very decent player.

I guess it depends on whether you've empathy towards others or not. I tend to cry over these things because I can imagine what the family members are going through, etc, etc. Also, you don't know the personal circumstances of people replying to the thread... perhaps they've been affected by a similar thing.

Incidentally, I often cry during the minute's silence on 11/11 too, because I reflect on what others have put themselves through in the past and the sheer number of young lives lost through war.

What you find OTT others may see as gesture of compassion and understanding.

[Ambitious]

I used to work with his cousin Audrey at a call centre in Coalville 4 years ago. She said she'd only met him a handful of times, barely had anything to do with him, said he's big headed and arrogant, obviously I can't comment because I never met the guy, shame though, can't understand why he'd hang himself, the average 42 year old would kill to be in his shoes.

Edited 27 November 2011 by Ambitious

[casablancas]

****, I work in psychiatry but this has shocked me to my core.

Best wishes to his family.

RIP Gary

[Finnegan]

Obviously a massive shock but I will rarely say RIP to anybody who takes their own life. If he had a major mental problem then fair enough but he never came across like that type of guy. If its over something petty then I sympathise greatly with his family but have no respect for him.

I hope you don't take this as the start of another argument between us, I hope if you can trust me about anything it's that I don't want to turn this - of all topics - in to a mud-slinging match. But I think you should live a little and spend some time thinking and reading about mental health before being so dismissive.

A perfectly normal, healthy individual doesn't just suddenly decide to hang themselves.

We don't know the full context of the situation and even if we did it's almost impossible to truly put yourself in the mind of Speed and feel how he would feel.

[The Year Of The Fox]

Do not mean to be disrespectful to Gary at all, but I don't understand how people using this forum can cry over his death. Obviously it is a big loss to football and his family but I don't understand the emotion over a man none of us ever met. I can understand players who played with him or were managed by him being very upset but not every Joe Bloggs football fan. I mean, no one cries during the minutes silence on 11/11 apart from relatives of dead soldiers. Just seems a bit OTT.

Anyway, thoughts are with his family. No doubt he'll be remembered as a very decent player.

cos it saddens people like me who feel that noone should ever feel so bad as to want to do this. He may have only needed an arm round his shoulder by someone. Someone just to tell him that things aren't that bad. And its not nice to think that anyone can feel so alone and utterly helpless

[Salieri]

Having just watched the clip of Gary on Football Focus it just seems even more unbelievable. I'm no expert in body language and the like but he seems very much at ease and in a good frame of mind. If somebody is so entrenched into a depressive state to such an extent that they would take their own life then I would imagine it would be very hard to completely hide the way they were feeling.

If you were planning on taking your life the following day then surely you wouldn't be on T.V making small talk about upcoming events in football?

The whole thing just doesn't add up, to say i'm shocked and saddened by this is a massive understatement.

[Bilo]

Gary Speed may never have played for a team the majority of us support on here, and I think it's probably fair to say none of us knew or met him, but his death has made such an impact because here was someone who seemed every inch the consummate professional.

Speed wasn't seen falling out of nightclubs at 5am like some players, he wasn't known for shagging around or getting into fights or racked with a gambling addiction. Here was an intensely private man who seemed to live life without incident on or off the field, professional on the field and a family man off it. That's why his death has come as a massive shock. It shows that even the most outwardly confident, professional man can be wracked with inner demons he can't defeat.

You don't need to live a shit life to suffer from mental illness. Depression or mental illness can strike any one of us at any time and it can be tough for a bloke to admit that they're struggling, especially in a world of machismo like football. Now I'm just speculating on his mental state, but as Finnegan said; happy, healthy people don't suddenly decide to take their own lives. There was clearly something very wrong in Speed's mind that would have seemed irrational to us but impossible to live with for him.

It's genuinely scary to think of such a successful man being killed not by a physical illness such as cancer or an accident, but by the inner workings of his mind. Something he could neither live with nor apparently talk about. That's why it has had such an impact, it could happen to anybody and shocks like this really bring that fact home.

It's time mental illness and depression stopped being stigmatised. It isn't a sign of weakness to seek help, it's actually the complete opposite.

Edited 27 November 2011 by Bilo

[Tommy G]

Dan walker is fantastic, must be so hard for him to understand after interviewing him yesterday!!

Gutted, a sad loss for football

[StanSP]

Hugo Viana, now at Sporting Braga, tonight vs Porto.

Still hasn't sunk in for me yet