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bovril

Room 101

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Guest MattP
Posted

With you on pretty much all of those but.... coffee machines?

I was thinking about them in pubs.

Posted

for me, sitting in a room full of "LADS" talking about how they are gonna "smash" magaluf, whilst all necking Sambuca, wearing all saints clothing and combovers....... the "lad" culture has to be the most embarrassing things to ever happen to our country

 

Had that experience on Saturday evening. Felt like I was an extra in a WKD advert. "Remember that time I put my phone under a girl's skirt in that club in Blackburn and just took a photo. BANTER weren't it!"

 

When I am king they will be first against the wall.

Posted

Had that experience on Saturday evening. Felt like I was an extra in a WKD advert. "Remember that time I put my phone under a girl's skirt in that club in Blackburn and just took a photo. BANTER weren't it!"

 

When I am king they will be first against the wall.

 

hahaha, the garbage that they put on tv, such as Geordie shore and towie are as much to blame, I cant help but look at these type of lads on nights out and laugh to myself, muppets

Posted

Could do a list of 300.

 

The word "selfie"

Any one who makes money out of "health and safety"

Jobsworths

The European Union

Religion

Liverpool and Man U fans

Reality TV

Coffee Machines

Wiggers

The homeless

What are Wiggers?

White kids that talk like some Caribbean yardie.

Posted

hahaha, the garbage that they put on tv, such as Geordie shore and towie are as much to blame, I cant help but look at these type of lads on nights out and laugh to myself, muppets

 

Kids of 18/19 by and large dress dreadfully these days. And the haircuts! If they had lids like that in my day they'd have had the piss mercilessly ripped out of them. The caravan jibes would never have stopped.

Guest MattP
Posted

What are Wiggers?

White kids that talk like some Caribbean yardie.

Yep. You know the sort.

Posted

Half and half scarves. Sorry, who the fvck wants a Leicester v Barnsley scarf as a gift/ piece of "memorabilia" from attending a run of the mill second division match?

Guest MattP
Posted

I know where you is coming from blood.

Word.

Posted

Used to be mine,but I'm an expert on them now ( when I say expert I mean know a bit)and fine with them,however you could well be in Black Mamba,Puff Adder,Boomslang and Cape Cobra country.which would have me crying if they were about.

I thought I read somewhere you overcame it by learning more about them. I should probably try.

We have Cape Cobra, two types of Spitting Cobra, and a mountain adder. Along with some non venomous snakes.

They scare me terribly. So much so that I've spent the last hour reading about them and worrying that they could be in my compound.

Posted

Being in the same school year as the ****tards you describe and spending almost everyday of my life with them.

Posted

I thought I read somewhere you overcame it by learning more about them. I should probably try.

We have Cape Cobra, two types of Spitting Cobra, and a mountain adder. Along with some non venomous snakes.

They scare me terribly. So much so that I've spent the last hour reading about them and worrying that they could be in my compound.

That's the problem.Reading about them and knowing that they are in your area!i very much doubt they will be near your house if you have dogs and a dog will sense one before you.For every one snake you see one hundred have seen you.Still don't like them that much but understand enough that an encounter would be unusual and a bite very unlucky.We are British,we are bred to be scared.Our Socceroo has had a few scrapes when running.

Johan Marias has written a few books on S African snakes which might help.Also keep garden tidy and not too much water( frogs) Thought your garden was well looked after when you put a picture on.

Posted

Derby fans

Keith lemon/Russel Brand

Tuna fish

Anybody saying the phrase; 'I'm just sending a tweet'

1 Direction

People that drive at 40mph in a 60mph zone

The smell of spit

Stupid American women

Fake tan

Little dogs in handbags and they're owners

Marmite/bovril

Jeremy kyle

Old people

Religious people

Selfie

Basil Brush

The dentist

Make me wear 'onesie' in a room full of that stuff with a TV in front of me repeating Britain's got talent or Geordie shore and I would almost certainly rip my eyeballs out of my face or just commit suicide.

Posted

Football hooligans. 

Keyboard warriors.

Trolls.

Paranoid people who run websites.

Coke-snorting paranoid cafe owners.

Lunatic Americans.

Norris Cole.

Miserable caaants.

People who can't give credit where it's blatantly due.

Car shoes.

Deranged Coventry fans.

 

:)  :thumbup:  :ph34r:  :chant::scarf:

Posted

People who are overly proud of their birthplace

People who'll believe anything that's not the most logical explanation

People who think butter and low fat spread are interchangeable

Yappy dogs

Millipedes

Wasps

James Corden

The stench of tinned tuna

When people from a different department at your workplace use your toilet because they know they have a terrible shit brewing and can't face their own colleagues if they were caught dropping it in their own toilet

Posted

That's the problem.Reading about them and knowing that they are in your area!i very much doubt they will be near your house if you have dogs and a dog will sense one before you.For every one snake you see one hundred have seen you.Still don't like them that much but understand enough that an encounter would be unusual and a bite very unlucky.We are British,we are bred to be scared.Our Socceroo has had a few scrapes when running.

Johan Marias has written a few books on S African snakes which might help.Also keep garden tidy and not too much water( frogs) Thought your garden was well looked after when you put a picture on.

 

I'll check out the books. We've had two frogs in our kitchen. The first time we had one, my wife and I looked at each and mouthed 'snakes!' The main part of the garden is tidy, but behind the fence is an untouched area that the landlord wants to build on at some point. I am sure there are snakes there.

Posted

Wiggers

 

I avoid speaking patois, even (especially?!) when I am with my wife's family in Jamaica. It just doesn't work and I sound stupid. However, I will sometimes 'buss' out some cuss words to annoy my 'beef'. My fave is rahtid as it isn't too offensive.

Posted

I'm with you on Belgrade station... but I love the liver, kidney and tripe. Unless your travels in the Balkans was what put you off.....

 

No, the liver, kidney & pickled beetroot were for school dinners, and the tripe at live-in grape-picking in France. Each to their own, I suppose. Someone else has cited Marmite, but toast/marmite is one of the greatest pleasures of my life these days. 

 

The memory of Belgrade station toilets still bring a chill to my skin. It was 1987 (not 84), and I was doing an Inter-Rail trip with a mate. We were arriving long-distance - from Zagreb, I think - and the train toilets had been out of order, so we were desperate by the time we got to Belgrade station. It was one of those old-style, hole-in-the-ground toilets, but clearly hadn't been cleaned for months. When I say that there was a 2-foot-high pile of faeces next to the hole, I'm not exaggerating....every colour, every consistency....I can still almost see and smell it now. It was also a hot day in summer, so there were plenty of flies...

 

I've said enough! If the odour of Belgrade station toilet materialised in Room 101, within 5 seconds I'd be confessing to the Shergar horsenapping, the Kennedy shooting and the killing off of the dinosaurs!

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