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Parafox

Would you ever contemplate suicide?

By Parafox, in General Chat

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Mark_w

Mark_w

Posted
Posted (edited)

Commuting suicide is the most selfish thing anyone could do

 

 

One would assume that this thread will attract people who are in a very dark place and who are contemplating suicide as a result. I'd suggest that attempting to make those people feel worse for contemplating suicide is itself incredibly selfish and insensitive.

 

---

 

I've never been suicidal, nor have I ever self harmed, but I had been depressed for about 3/4 years prior to about 5-6 months ago as a result of severe social anxiety.

 

On CBT/Therapy/Doctors in general I really think it's worth people keeping an open mind and not ruling it out either because you don't think it'll be effective or because you've tried it once and it wasn't effective. The first therapist I saw wasn't particularly helpful. I then reluctantly went and saw my GP who, without ever needing to prescribe drugs, was in a short space of time very effective. Don't close off potential solutions even if you think they won't help, because they might. Different things will work for different people, just because one professionals' approach didn't help you doesn't mean others won't. And as others have said I also think it really is worth confiding in someone (and if you don't think you have anyone you can talk to, then talk to a doctor), it's not going to get better if you don't take the step of opening up to someone as difficult as that may be.

Edited by Mark_w
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BrokenRecord

BrokenRecord

Posted
Posted

Can imagine Social Anxiety, either very high or moderate/mild, being a very horrible feeling.

I suffered with it a few years ago. It's a horrible feeling, and it kinda blends with agoraphobia because it leaves you not wanting to leave the house. I was genuinely terrified of all interaction, and I lashed out at those who cared for me because they did not

understand. It's tough to get through and I'm sure I was a lot milder than most, but getting a job really helped. I still don't feel fully comfortable being out (Even with friends), but I'm a lot more comfortable with it now than I ever was before.

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Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted (edited)

I suffered with it a few years ago. It's a horrible feeling, and it kinda blends with agoraphobia because it leaves you not wanting to leave the house. I was genuinely terrified of all interaction, and I lashed out at those who cared for me because they did not

understand. It's tough to get through and I'm sure I was a lot milder than most, but getting a job really helped. I still don't feel fully comfortable being out (Even with friends), but I'm a lot more comfortable with it now than I ever was before.

What did/do you struggle with the most when feeling socially irritable?

 

I can slightly relate.

 

When I'm with people I don't know, socially, I can become VERY self-conscious (worried how others perceive me) - but I get rid of the feeling by just talking, to get myself out of the negative mindset and make others to see that I'm confident speaking to them.

 

When with friends, I'm fine as we understand each other well, etc.

 

Suppose it gets better if you get more experience etc with some.

Edited by Wymeswold fox
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Mark_w

Mark_w

Posted
Posted

I can slightly relate.

 

When I'm with people I don't know, socially, I become VERY self-conscious (worried how others perceive me) - but I get rid of the feeling by just talking, to get myself out of the negative mindset.

 

Suppose it gets better if you get more experience etc with some.

 

The problem is in a lot of cases you just avoid those situations entirely. There were a couple of years where there were people who would have cared and could have helped but I just completely alienated myself. I think I'm in a similar position to the one you've described now and in comparison I find that fairly manageable but it's not fun.

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Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted

It's a case of 'facing your fears', really.

 

I'm no expert, but if you opt out of things that you 'dread', the consequence is that you'll regret not doing it and will get yourself more depressed about the issue.

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BrokenRecord

BrokenRecord

Posted
Posted

What did/do you struggle with the most when feeling socially irritable?

 

I can slightly relate.

 

When I'm with people I don't know, socially, I can become VERY self-conscious (worried how others perceive me) - but I get rid of the feeling by just talking, to get myself out of the negative mindset and make others to see that I'm confident speaking to them.

 

When with friends, I'm fine as we understand each other well, etc.

 

Suppose it gets better if you get more experience etc with some.

Well I would just shut myself off, try to get myself out of going to things, avoid people if I knew I'd have to talk to them.

 

Honestly, although me saying this doesn't mean much, people don't really care about who you are, what you wear or anything like that. You've just gotta be relaxed, and casual. It's tough but with practice you can get better (Not saying by any means I'm the master of it). 

 

For me it's even tough with friends but I'm getting better, much better than I was.

 

Experience is the key. Just tell yourself you can do it, and never talk yourself out of going to something you're invited to. If you go and it's crap, at least you went. You can go home after, and wind down with a book, some tv, or whatever you enjoy :)

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Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted

Experience is the key. Just tell yourself you can do it, and never talk yourself out of going to something you're invited to. If you go and it's crap, at least you went. You can go home after, and wind down with a book, some tv, or whatever you enjoy :)

Exactly.

 

It's quite essential that sufferers out there have this in mind - if you try, at least you've done it (despite how anxious you felt) and improve from that experience the next time.

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  • 5 months later...
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Anyone else ever contemplated it?

Crosses my mind several times a day. Looking at the league table helps ease the feeling a bit.

lostallhope.com a site I trawl occasionally too. Not got the balls to do it basically but I really should.

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Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted

Anyone else ever contemplated it?

Crosses my mind several times a day. Looking at the league table helps ease the feeling a bit.

lostallhope.com a site I trawl occasionally too. Not got the balls to do it basically but I really should.

 

Talk with your GP, book an appointment tomorrow buddy.

 

There's a few things that'll help moving forward, all you have to do is tell your GP how you've been feeling.

 

Although it perhaps doesn't seem like it now, everything is sortable no matter what your head is telling you!

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

As Swan Lesta says, go see your GP straight away. Don't be scared to tell them if you're feeling that way as they're there to help.

Either medication / counselling or a combination of these may help but you need to make the first step and go talk to someone to assess your needs first.

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Tielemans63

Tielemans63

Posted
Posted

Totally agree with Swanny.

I considered it in my early 20's for a few reasons - mostly because I couldn't see a way out of the situation I was in back then

Now I'm in my 30's I'm happily married, got a good job, nice house and a lovely baby daughter - I'm so glad I didn't give in to those thoughts.

Whatever it is mate it CAN be sorted. I didn't think I'd ever get beyond the problems I had but they're well and truly behind me now but I had to swallow my pride and get help which is probably the best decision I ever made. Make sure you do the same pal, don't put it off.

Totally agree with Swanny.

I considered it in my early 20's for a few reasons - mostly because I couldn't see a way out of the situation I was in back then

Now I'm in my 30's I'm happily married, got a good job, nice house and a lovely baby daughter - I'm so glad I didn't give in to those thoughts.

Whatever it is mate it CAN be sorted. I didn't think I'd ever get beyond the problems I had but they're well and truly behind me now but I had to swallow my pride and get help which is probably the best decision I ever made. Make sure you do the same pal, don't put it off.

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tom27111

tom27111

Posted
Posted

Talk to your doctor, there's not such a taboo around depression and mental health issues like there used to be.

We all get down, some worse than others. I've been there myself mate. Horrible divorce, kids involved too, allegations made about me to the police... couldn't see anything getting better.

Fast forward a while and I've moved to a new area, met a cracking new bird and Leicester are top of the league.

Basically, it'll get better, but get the help you need. However much you think you are, you're not alone.

I had a few months on some tablets, doctor helped me out and a couple of mates showed me how much they cared.

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Bilo

Bilo

Posted
Posted (edited)

The best thing you can do is to go and speak to your GP, the same as others have said.

 

I had thoughts like that during my last year at university for a number of personal reasons, and it took me a hell of a long time to recover. I underwent counselling, was prescribed anti depressants and took some CBT courses as well and it made a massive positive impact. I do still have some relapses of depression, because it's a bastard like that, but the coping strategies you develop make such a massive difference that you can get through it a whole lot better.

One thing you could do right now is to sit down, grab a pen and paper and mark yourself from -10 to +10 on all the things that really matter in your life. This could be relationships with family, friends, love life, money, work, healh, etc. You'll find that things, if you're really honest with yourself, are a lot better than you realise when you take this objective approach. Once you realise the three elements you've scored the least on, formulate a plan as to how you can fix it. If it's work, look at how you can progress in your career such as taking on extra qualifications or applying for new jobs altogether. If it's your love life, join dating sites or get laid via Tinder etc.

 

There are always ways and means of improving your life, you just need to know where to turn. There is support out there. 

Edited by Bilo
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Larry_LCFC

Larry_LCFC

Posted
Posted

The best thing you can do is to go and speak to your MP, the same as others have said.

 

I had thoughts like that during my last year at university for a number of personal reasons, and it took me a hell of a long time to recover. I underwent counselling, was prescribed anti depressants and took some CBT courses as well and it made a massive positive impact. I do still have some relapses of depression, because it's a bastard like that, but the coping strategies you develop make such a massive difference that you can get through it a whole lot better.

One thing you could do right now is to sit down, grab a pen and paper and mark yourself from -10 to +10 on all the things that really matter in your life. This could be relationships with family, friends, love life, money, work, healh, etc. You'll find that things, if you're really honest with yourself, are a lot better than you realise when you take this objective approach. Once you realise the three elements you've scored the least on, formulate a plan as to how you can fix it. If it's work, look at how you can progress in your career such as taking on extra qualifications or applying for new jobs altogether. If it's your love life, join dating sites or get laid via Tinder etc.

 

There are always ways and means of improving your life, you just need to know where to turn. There is support out there. 

I wouldn't bother tbh. They'd make things worse.

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Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted (edited)

Talking is the best policy

 

Whenever I've had issues, I always talked to someone about it nearly straightaway - it didn't clear the problems but I felt some good of revealing them.

 

Hiding your feelings away from anyone will always worsen your mindset over time.

Edited by Wymeswold fox
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lianne81

lianne81

Posted
Posted

Talking is the best policy

 

Whenever I've had issues, I always talked to someone about it nearly straightaway - it didn't clear the problems but I felt some good of revealing them.

 

Hiding your feelings away from anyone will always worsen your mindset over time.

Very true and it affects different parts off your life , be it with relationships or even with friends x

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