Depression

[wallin1704]

Just want to let anybody that's struggling know that you have got this 💪

 

This time of year is always one of the hardest with the bombardment of family things / themes in every show and everywhere you look.

 

Being single makes you feel even more alone and it's so easy to slip into bad habits and a dark mindset to try and escape the loneliness of it all.

 

Get outdoors and go for a walk (it honestly does wonders) write a letter and get all those feelings off your chest (you don't have to send it), do something you enjoy to pass the time.

 

But most importantly talk..call your old mate and have a catch up, post to strangers on here, just reach out as you are not alone in all this.

 

 

[chrishlcfc]

Not posted in here for a while. But still feeling proper down and hopeless. Got nothing to look forward too, tried making targets, not achieving them. Started walking again, stopped. I just can’t do anything. 
 

mid 30s now, not had a full time job for ages, still live at home with my parents, never had a girlfriend, darent even talk to girls. Don’t drive. Genuinely what’s the point in existence, I just sit at home all the time depressed and can’t get out of how I feel

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, chrishlcfc said:

Not posted in here for a while. But still feeling proper down and hopeless. Got nothing to look forward too, tried making targets, not achieving them. Started walking again, stopped. I just can’t do anything. 
 

mid 30s now, not had a full time job for ages, still live at home with my parents, never had a girlfriend, darent even talk to girls. Don’t drive. Genuinely what’s the point in existence, I just sit at home all the time depressed and can’t get out of how I feel

I'm probably not the best person to answer this, although I can relate to a lot of it.

 

Do you have a family doctor? Do you have someone to talk to about how you feel? 

 

I waited until my mid 40's to get help. Finally saw a therapist and she was very helpful and it was just nice to be able to talk about stuff that I'd never told anyone before.

 

I went on anti-depressants for awhile and they seemed to help, although i didn't like the side effects.

 

Hope you can get some help with how you are feeling mate.

[wallin1704]

10 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Not posted in here for a while. But still feeling proper down and hopeless. Got nothing to look forward too, tried making targets, not achieving them. Started walking again, stopped. I just can’t do anything. 
 

mid 30s now, not had a full time job for ages, still live at home with my parents, never had a girlfriend, darent even talk to girls. Don’t drive. Genuinely what’s the point in existence, I just sit at home all the time depressed and can’t get out of how I feel

As previous poster said above have you seen a Doctor yet? I'd definitely use that as a starting point.

Antidepressants suck for a start (it took me a few tablets to find one that suited) as you will get some side effects.

However they do help in regulation of your mood.. you won't feel happier but you will feel better.

 

Setting targets is great but from my experience can make things worse as a lot of the time they are all or nothing targets.

What I would suggest is start slow.. very very slow.

Leaving the house for a 5 mins walk is still better than sitting in home all day.

Having a shower and personal hygiene also have a positive effect (at my worst I didn't care enough about myself to bathe, clean my teeth, shave etc) 

 

As for the other parts that's something only you can do yourself.

What kind of job do you want to do?

Living with parents is not bad as it means when you get a job you can save up easier (it's so expensive out there) but one step at a time.

 

As for the gf and lack of confidence that will come when you start taking care of yourself mentally and physically.

 

I'm single and for years I thought that I didn't deserve love or to find anyone special due to how I was but that's not true.

Cliche but you can't love someone until you can love yourself.

 

You need a chat drop me a DM I'm happy to talk to you and help anyway I can mate.

 

Take care of yourself.

You got this 💪

 

[STEVIE B]

10 hours ago, chrishlcfc said:

Not posted in here for a while. But still feeling proper down and hopeless. Got nothing to look forward too, tried making targets, not achieving them. Started walking again, stopped. I just can’t do anything. 
 

mid 30s now, not had a full time job for ages, still live at home with my parents, never had a girlfriend, darent even talk to girls. Don’t drive. Genuinely what’s the point in existence, I just sit at home all the time depressed and can’t get out of how I feel

I had a bit of basic advice from my partner. She is a Hypnotherapist. 

The 3 P's. 1. A positive thought. 2 A positive action. 3 A positive interaction. 

If you can try this on a daily basis, it may help. 

 

Something like a nice chat with a family member/friend. Going for a nice walk. 

The positive thought can be difficult when at a low ebb, but anything is a start......the weather, a nice memory, 

There's plenty of understanding people on here to help. Take care my friend. 

[chrishlcfc]

Thanks I appreciate the responses I just don’t know what to do anymore to help myself. I suppose having a gambling addiction really isn’t helpful either.  
 

I’ve been through so many different types of antidepressants, I’m still on some but they’re useless. I’ve tried therapy, helped a little but then ends, I’ve tried support for my gambling. I just don’t know what to do anymore. 
 

The other trouble I have is I don’t really like the doctors due to the lack of support I’ve had with some of my physical issues, I do speak to them about my mental health but like with most things they are overstretched and without being too critical would rather just pass you down the line. 
 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

[STEVIE B]

1 hour ago, chrishlcfc said:

Thanks I appreciate the responses I just don’t know what to do anymore to help myself. I suppose having a gambling addiction really isn’t helpful either.  
 

I’ve been through so many different types of antidepressants, I’m still on some but they’re useless. I’ve tried therapy, helped a little but then ends, I’ve tried support for my gambling. I just don’t know what to do anymore. 
 

The other trouble I have is I don’t really like the doctors due to the lack of support I’ve had with some of my physical issues, I do speak to them about my mental health but like with most things they are overstretched and without being too critical would rather just pass you down the line. 
 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

If you feel the antidepressants aren't working, it would be worth speaking to your Doctor. Hopefully he will find a different medication. 

 

Blocking yourself from any gambling sites may help. My son's friend did this.

 

It does sound like you're in a bit of a rut.

Speaking to someone is a way forward.

 

I must stress, I'm in no way qualified to advise, so am being as diplomatic as possible. However, my brother has had his struggles for many years, so l can empathise. 

 

 

Edited 29 December 2025 by STEVIE B

[Parafox]

On 26/12/2025 at 13:11, wallin1704 said:

But most importantly talk..call your old mate and have a catch up, post to strangers on here, just reach out as you are not alone in all this.

 

When I was working, we got hundreds of call to people who were suffering MH problems and most lived alone.

 

What I often found was that just having us to talk to and unload, made a big difference to them. Many of the calls were down to loneliness and reluctance to engage with friends and/or family as they didn't think these peoples would understand and might be critical or judgemental.

 

We (and the police, who frequently deal with MH issues) don't judge. On the occasions where we have contacted somebody, a friend or relative, on behalf of the patient, they have been really supportive. Often they say "we never knew about this, he/she never talked to us about it", and they'd be so willing to help.

 

As @wallin1704 has said, don't be afraid of talking. People are more understanding than you might imagine.

[Parafox]

17 minutes ago, Parafox said:

 

When I was working, we got hundreds of call to people who were suffering MH problems and most lived alone.

 

What I often found was that just having us to talk to and unload, made a big difference to them. Many of the calls were down to loneliness and reluctance to engage with friends and/or family as they didn't think these peoples would understand and might be critical or judgemental.

 

We (and the police, who frequently deal with MH issues) don't judge. On the occasions where we have contacted somebody, a friend or relative, on behalf of the patient, they have been really supportive. Often they say "we never knew about this, he/she never talked to us about it", and they'd be so willing to help.

 

As @wallin1704 has said, don't be afraid of talking. People are more understanding than you might imagine.

 

Can I also say that in most cases the initial call was that the patient want to end their life.

 

In reality they didn't want that. What they needed was a way of resolving their current crisis. So we call the crisis team. It goes to voicemail...

[urban.spaceman]

Relieved to get to the end of this year. Felt completely detached for the most of it. Had brutal financial issues inflicted on me, which resulted in what felt like enforced reclusiveness as I had no money and no freedom to live normally, had job and script rejections, ill mental and physical health especially in the last few weeks with chronic fatigue. Had a few decent highlights including a couple of family holidays, some phenomenal cinema and theatre trips, a teeny bit of career progress, 2 and a half stone lose and have signed up for medical cannabis. 
 

Despite the gloom I am very much looking forward to next year. Got a really good feeling about it. 
 

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you’re all well. 

[FoxesDeb]

It seems that new year doesn't get any easier, I guess every single one for the rest of my life is going to be a really shitty reminder that my 20 year old son didn't make it any further in his life. 

 

I wish he'd been able to talk to me, or his sister, or anyone really. If he'd had any idea that our lives would be ruined he would never have done what he did, and I really implore anyone who's thinking of ending their life to think of the impact on those left behind. It really is much farther reaching than you can imagine. 

 

Just talk to someone, anyone, and don't put your family and friends what we're still  going through, and will be forever more. 

 

If you can't speak in person just post here 

 

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Talk more people.

 

Much love and strength to everyone in this thread xxxx

[foxfanazer]

1 hour ago, FoxesDeb said:

It seems that new year doesn't get any easier, I guess every single one for the rest of my life is going to be a really shitty reminder that my 20 year old son didn't make it any further in his life. 

 

I wish he'd been able to talk to me, or his sister, or anyone really. If he'd had any idea that our lives would be ruined he would never have done what he did, and I really implore anyone who's thinking of ending their life to think of the impact on those left behind. It really is much farther reaching than you can imagine. 

 

Just talk to someone, anyone, and don't put your family and friends what we're still  going through, and will be forever more. 

 

If you can't speak in person just post here 

 

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Talk more people.

 

Much love and strength to everyone in this thread xxxx

This is exactly what stopped me a few years ago Deb. Wrote out letters to a few people, including ones for my kids to read when they were older which looking back felt really self indulgent. But the thought of them reading them and the impact it would have stopped me at my lowest ebb. When you feel so shit about yourself it's hard to o comprehend how much people really do love you. 

 

I'm so sorry your son didn't have that clarity, I can't imagine how hard that is for you to deal with. You're an absolute gem on this forum and in particular this thread Deb and your son would be proud of the support you give to others 

[Trav Le Bleu]

For those of you feeling down because of the date, remember that it's ultimately just another day. For many people it's not even the start or end of the year, based on belief or culture.

 

Even for people who see today as significant, just think, almost half the world has already seen the new year in, for good or bad.

 

In the end, it's just about where you are and what you've been told is important (but ultimately isn't).

 

Enjoy tomorrow. Or yesterday. 

 

Just enjoy. We love you. 

[FoxSince88]

For anyone stuck at a crossroads not knowing what way to turn there are options for you to attend meets with likeminded men included ones that have faced the same problems you could be facing and have come out the other side and still attend  to maintain a healthy mind. 
 

I struggled a heavy episode during lockdown that ultimately put me in the position I could only see suicide as the way to go, I can say now that I was blessed with an amazing friend that saved my life. 
 

I currently attend once weekly an all male space that I would welcome anyone that needs to take that first step along to. 
 

drop me a Message and I will try my best to point you in the right direction. 
 

On a separate note I work within the gambling industry for 10 years, I was a gambling addict spending every penny I could daily- There are steps you can put in place to stop you from gambling but that’s going “Cold turkey” so if you need help working towards managing an addiction I will also try my best to help you with my knowledge. 

[urban.spaceman]

On 31/12/2025 at 20:17, urban.spaceman said:

Relieved to get to the end of this year. Felt completely detached for the most of it. Had brutal financial issues inflicted on me, which resulted in what felt like enforced reclusiveness as I had no money and no freedom to live normally, had job and script rejections, ill mental and physical health especially in the last few weeks with chronic fatigue. Had a few decent highlights including a couple of family holidays, some phenomenal cinema and theatre trips, a teeny bit of career progress, 2 and a half stone lose and have signed up for medical cannabis. 
 

Despite the gloom I am very much looking forward to next year. Got a really good feeling about it. 
 

Happy New Year everyone. I hope you’re all well. 

That enthusiasm lasted about 36 hours. My employer cancelled a 48 respite shift at the last minute on Boxing Day and moved it to today. Now she's cancelled today at the last minute meaning I won't earn anything until February. Called her up to try and resolve it and now she's claiming we've reached the limit for respite hours this tax year which could mean I won't earn anything until MAY. Dealing with her and the direct payments company over the last 15 months has been psychological torture. Universal Credit are helping slightly but moving at a snails pace. This jobs market has always been difficult for me but now it just seems worse than ever.

Honestly don't think I've ever started off a year feeling more angry, depressed or dehumanised. Rock ****ing bottom

[FoxesDeb]

This time of year is horrible, for me because it is around 6 weeks between new year and the anniversary of when I lost my boy and it seems that new year is the time his loss hits me hardest. 

 

But I guess it's the hardest time of year for most other people too, the short days and long nights, the hangover from Christmas with a whole year stretching ahead. 

 

I hope everyone is ok and not suffering too much xx

[Fosse93]

Really struggling with work at the minute. Too many high stakes responsibilities on my shoulders and feel at breaking point.

 

Already took 11 weeks off from April to end of June last year, really trying to resist going back down that route but working 9 hours this last Sunday (I'm only supposed to work Mon-Fri), and just the general expectation from the business that I'll put out all the fires is weighing heavily on me.

[Tommy G]

6 minutes ago, Fosse93 said:

Really struggling with work at the minute. Too many high stakes responsibilities on my shoulders and feel at breaking point.

 

Already took 11 weeks off from April to end of June last year, really trying to resist going back down that route but working 9 hours this last Sunday (I'm only supposed to work Mon-Fri), and just the general expectation from the business that I'll put out all the fires is weighing heavily on me.

Who are you communicating to that you are doing 9 hours work on a saturday?

[STEVIE B]

2 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Really struggling with work at the minute. Too many high stakes responsibilities on my shoulders and feel at breaking point.

 

Already took 11 weeks off from April to end of June last year, really trying to resist going back down that route but working 9 hours this last Sunday (I'm only supposed to work Mon-Fri), and just the general expectation from the business that I'll put out all the fires is weighing heavily on me.

Is it possible to speak to your line manager ?

They have a responsibility regarding such problems. Especially knowing your recent past too. 

Edited 13 January by STEVIE B

[Fosse93]

1 hour ago, Tommy G said:

Who are you communicating to that you are doing 9 hours work on a saturday?

My manager is aware and told me to take Friday off in lieu, which is a nice gesture and I'll be sure to take it.

[Fosse93]

1 hour ago, STEVIE B said:

Is it possible to your line manager ?

They have a responsibility regarding such problems. Especially knowing your recent past too. 

I have a 1-1 scheduled on Thursday, and plan to bring this up. Don't want to come across as 'flaky' which I don't think will be the case, as my output has been strong for months now, it's just a difficult balance to strike - it probably doesn't help I'm a skeptic by design so if someone else were in my shoes, without knowing the full context, I'd probably think they were milking it.

[Tommy G]

1 hour ago, Fosse93 said:

My manager is aware and told me to take Friday off in lieu, which is a nice gesture and I'll be sure to take it.

 

1 hour ago, Fosse93 said:

I have a 1-1 scheduled on Thursday, and plan to bring this up. Don't want to come across as 'flaky' which I don't think will be the case, as my output has been strong for months now, it's just a difficult balance to strike - it probably doesn't help I'm a skeptic by design so if someone else were in my shoes, without knowing the full context, I'd probably think they were milking it.

If your manager is any good they will recognise this and come up with a plan 

[DJW1]

Although I have sometimes felt down and lonely, I have never suffered from clinical depression.

It is a good idea to fill as much of your time as possible with activities, so that you are not at home and perhaps tempted to drink/smoke/take drugs. Exercise will fill in your time and help with your health and with sleeping.

A good idea would be to join a club or take part in an activity where you have a common interest with the people who attend. For me it´s football, birdwatching etc. The advantage is that when you first attend you know that you have something in common. 

I think winter can be harder for some people due to the shorter days, but the internet can provide a distraction through music etc. and in chats like this.

Best wishes.

[lcfc sheff]

19 hours ago, DJW1 said:

Although I have sometimes felt down and lonely, I have never suffered from clinical depression.

It is a good idea to fill as much of your time as possible with activities, so that you are not at home and perhaps tempted to drink/smoke/take drugs. Exercise will fill in your time and help with your health and with sleeping.

A good idea would be to join a club or take part in an activity where you have a common interest with the people who attend. For me it´s football, birdwatching etc. The advantage is that when you first attend you know that you have something in common. 

I think winter can be harder for some people due to the shorter days, but the internet can provide a distraction through music etc. and in chats like this.

Best wishes.

I suffered from health anxiety and panic attacks for two years.

 

One night sat at home, I thought I was having a heart attack; my brother drove me to the hospital and after a few checks, (went on longer than it should) I was told there was nothing wrong with my heart.
 

For the next two years I would struggle being in a constant flight or fight mode. I couldn’t sleep in my bed as I felt my heart beating through my chest; I later found sleeping on the carpet on my floor the only way to sleep. I couldn’t sit still and left many meals and cinema trips due to it.

 

Sadly my only escape from this was sleep, or so I thought.
 

ever since I took up running it has completely changed my life, I feel like I did before this horrible time of my life. It is not easy but I notice small changes and moments when I didn’t think of my heart, and now as I type this I do not struggle.

 

please if anyone is reading this and thinking about starting exercise, do it 

[fleshdaddy]

2 minutes ago, lcfc sheff said:

I suffered from health anxiety and panic attacks for two years.

 

One night sat at home, I thought I was having a heart attack; my brother drove me to the hospital and after a few checks, (went on longer than it should) I was told there was nothing wrong with my heart.
 

For the next two years I would struggle being in a constant flight or fight mode. I couldn’t sleep in my bed as I felt my heart beating through my chest; I later found sleeping on the carpet on my floor the only way to sleep. I couldn’t sit still and left many meals and cinema trips due to it.

 

Sadly my only escape from this was sleep, or so I thought.
 

ever since I took up running it has completely changed my life, I feel like I did before this horrible time of my life. It is not easy but I notice small changes and moments when I didn’t think of my heart, and now as I type this I do not struggle.

 

please if anyone is reading this and thinking about starting exercise, do it 

+1 on this.

I've always had issues with my mental health, always been a bit up and down - but I started running just prior to the pandemic and to this day, it's the best form of therapy for me. I either go out and think about something, could be a problem at work or whatever, or I think about nothing, and either is equally as beneficial.

 

And you won't ever arrive back to the house after a run feeling worse than you did before you left. It's impossible.