Depression

[samlcfc]

17 hours ago, Parafox said:

Is there anyone else out there in FT land whose anxiety is so overwhelming that it results in vomiting?

 

I've not got as far as vomiting, but have felt queasy to the point of it being painful on occasion recently. 

 

Got a lot on at the moment and this feeling similarly occurs when I wake up during the night mostly. 

 

Also been waking up with a painful jaw from it being clamped shut, so I'm also fairly certain it's down to increased anxiety.

Edited 16 May 2023 by samlcfc

[Free Falling Foxes]

Can I ask if anyone knows if someones personality can change so very quickly?

 

The person I'm thinking of has been suffering depression and although I have previously worked in a mental heath setting for a number of years I've never known, or at least never witnessed, such a remarkable and rapid change in someone.

 

Quite frankly, the person has become quite vile, seemingly overnight - yes, that quickly

No hint of this in his character previously, at least not known to his partner, family and friends, but now he's an absolute reprehensible and manipulative individual.

 

He's currently refusing to seek any professional help.

 

Edited 21 May 2023 by Free Falling Foxes

[samlcfc]

9 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Can I ask if anyone knows if someones personality can change so very quickly?

 

The person I'm thinking of has been suffering depression and although I have previously worked in a mental heath setting for a number of years I've never known, or at least never witnessed, such a remarkable and rapid change in someone.

 

Quite frankly, the person has become quite vile, seemingly overnight - yes, that quickly

No hint of this in his character previously, at least not known to his partner, family and friends, but now he's an absolute reprehensible and manipulative individual.

 

He's currently refusing to seek any professional help.

 

 

I don't think its typical for someones personality to change seemingly overnight. As you're probably aware, mental health disorders can lead to changes in behaviour and fluctuation in personality, but I don't think it's usual that there would be no semblance of this pre-exisiting beforehand.

 

Obviously you know the person and the context of the situation better, but could there be a chance that there was physical injury to the head? I'm not an expert, but understand as layman that this can cause quite rapid changes?

 

There's also the chance that something in their lives has gone very badly and none of you are aware.

[Countryfox]

I’ve got two friends who have had strokes ..  quite bad ones. One has so many friends and a strong family round him and after two organised events (a football match and a bike ride) has raised over £20k to help him adapt to a new way of life and get him the help he needs. It is very uplifting and brings people together. The other has a family that couldn’t give a sh1t and every time I go round he tells me he wants to end it all. I refuse to help and do my best (to no avail) to convince him it’s not a good idea. This gets me down ..  but in a weird sort of way they balance out.  I suppose the message here is that by helping people it really is good for your soul and wellbeing. Try it. 
 

And  ..  as a footnote ..  even though I’m borderline, I’ve gone on statins !  Whatever your cholesterol level is, it lowers it, and that is good ! ..  no side effects whatsoever !  

[Free Falling Foxes]

10 hours ago, samlcfc said:

 

I don't think its typical for someones personality to change seemingly overnight. As you're probably aware, mental health disorders can lead to changes in behaviour and fluctuation in personality, but I don't think it's usual that there would be no semblance of this pre-exisiting beforehand.

 

Obviously you know the person and the context of the situation better, but could there be a chance that there was physical injury to the head? I'm not an expert, but understand as layman that this can cause quite rapid changes?

 

There's also the chance that something in their lives has gone very badly and none of you are aware.

No head injury.

I do recall reading of a person who's personality changed completely and quite quickly - though not overnight. It transpired he had a tumour on his brain.

It is so sad this person we know. He is systematically destroying all he has worked for, regarding his home and family.

One caveat though: from what we understand, he is functioning as before in his job.

 

[Parafox]

19 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Can I ask if anyone knows if someones personality can change so very quickly?

 

The person I'm thinking of has been suffering depression and although I have previously worked in a mental heath setting for a number of years I've never known, or at least never witnessed, such a remarkable and rapid change in someone.

 

Quite frankly, the person has become quite vile, seemingly overnight - yes, that quickly

No hint of this in his character previously, at least not known to his partner, family and friends, but now he's an absolute reprehensible and manipulative individual.

 

He's currently refusing to seek any professional help.

 

He should have a consultation and possibly a scan to see if there is anything either benign or malignant going on.

 

Unless he agrees I don't know what else you could do other than support (if possible).

[TJQuik]

20 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Can I ask if anyone knows if someones personality can change so very quickly?

 

The person I'm thinking of has been suffering depression and although I have previously worked in a mental heath setting for a number of years I've never known, or at least never witnessed, such a remarkable and rapid change in someone.

 

Quite frankly, the person has become quite vile, seemingly overnight - yes, that quickly

No hint of this in his character previously, at least not known to his partner, family and friends, but now he's an absolute reprehensible and manipulative individual.

 

He's currently refusing to seek any professional help.

 

Does he seem much more energetic than normal?

[Free Falling Foxes]

7 minutes ago, TJQuik said:

Does he seem much more energetic than normal?

No, not at all.

[TJQuik]

2 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

No, not at all.

I wouldn't completely rule out some kind of episode if we're talking a complete personality change. I wouldn't want to comment further as I don't know about the context of the situation or what his behaviour has been like.

[SK3Blue]

My anxiety took hold around 10 years ago, I found myself being helped at the checkout of a supermarket by a first aider, I'd suffered a panic attack.  I'd not known that social anxiety could be triggered by something as simple as having to talk to the lady on the checkout. 

 

As time wore on, I've had good and bad spells, was prescribed citalopram and felt better to the point I was able to reduce the dose and then stop taking it. 

 

Unfortunately family issues took hold in August last year, depression set in, black clouds gathered and I found myself unable to work and barely function for large parts of the day. This went on for 6 weeks or more before I returned to Citalopram. The family issues are no better 9 months down the line, I have little or no support within the family, so it's places like Foxestalk that have pulled me through, just being able to connect with people with the common interest of LCFC. 

 

It's been a long season which coincides with my downturn in August, grateful for every day but do wonder when the season ends just what I will do other than work. 

 

Everyone that has engaged with me on here has meant such a lot, be it positive, negative, having a laugh or just sharing frustration. I'm determined to win my battle although I know its a long road. 

Edited 23 May 2023 by SK3Blue

[Daggers]

On 15/05/2023 at 18:59, Parafox said:

There are quite a lot of long term issues with our 2 adopted (now adult) daughters which are of real concern for the future.

Story of my last two days with the lad popping home. No easy answers and advice seems to slide in one ear and out the other. 
 

Lots of nodding and agreement. Give him five hours and his great plan for the future is to open up a fvcking warehouse nightclub with zero money, equipment or knowledge. 
 

And then the wife says he ought to move home into my (now) office. 
 

I’ve opened another bottle of wine tonight - it’s my coping strategy. 
 

 

[Parafox]

Just now, Daggers said:

Story of my last two days with the lad popping home. No easy answers and advice seems to slide in one ear and out the other. 
 

Lots of nodding and agreement. Give him five hours and his great plan for the future is to open up a fvcking warehouse nightclub with zero money, equipment or knowledge. 
 

And then the wife says he ought to move home into my (now) office. 
 

I’ve opened another bottle of wine tonight - it’s my coping strategy. 
 

 

 

Mine too. Mrs PF has told me to lay off it. And maybe I should and I have cut down but it's one of the things that I can enjoy that makes the bad days seem better.

 

I know how that might come across and I don't depend on it, but when it's been bad...

 

mindfulness just doesn't cut it.

[Daggers]

2 minutes ago, Parafox said:

 

Mine too. Mrs PF has told me to lay off it. And maybe I should and I have cut down but it's one of the things that I can enjoy that makes the bad days seem better.

 

I know how that might come across and I don't depend on it, but when it's been bad...

 

mindfulness just doesn't cut it.

Walking the dogs gives me a nice break. We’ll go off for a good 90 minutes every day into the fields, it’s a really nice way to cut away. Pop The Archers or some music on the pods and away I go. 
 

Going out for a ride on the bike adds in another daily chunk that helps me forget stuff. 
 

And then I’m in the lucky position where I’ve still got work to focus on too. 
 

But wine is the best. I love wine more than my kids. 

[HighPeakFox]

One of the reasons I recovered and continue to recover was my long-term therapist - in 2001 I was an utter wreck, and over the years she slowly taught me how to put my life together and enabled me to then go out there having internalised the work we did, so that the progress might continue.

 

I learnt this morning that she recently died - I will be cutting my holiday short by a day next week to say goodbye at her funeral.

 

I owe her so much.

[rachhere]

2 hours ago, Parafox said:

 

Mine too. Mrs PF has told me to lay off it. And maybe I should and I have cut down but it's one of the things that I can enjoy that makes the bad days seem better.

 

I know how that might come across and I don't depend on it, but when it's been bad...

 

mindfulness just doesn't cut it.

I honestly would listen to your wife here. It’s a slippery slope, and it’s obviously concerning her enough to call you out on it. 

[Parafox]

2 hours ago, rachhere said:

I honestly would listen to your wife here. It’s a slippery slope, and it’s obviously concerning her enough to call you out on it. 

 

2 hours ago, rachhere said:

I honestly would listen to your wife here. It’s a slippery slope, and it’s obviously concerning her enough to call you out on it. 

I do.

 

And you're right. 

 

FWIW, I never drink to get drunk. I just unwind with a couple of glasses and that has been the case for several years and I can withhold when I have commitments, either driving or in the past, work the following day.

 

Mrs PF was having a go because I have a glass or 2 most evenings and she was concerned it was a problem for me. It isn't. It's a controlled habit.

 

And I don't think @Daggers was suggesting he is dependent. 

Even as I'm typing this I'm thinking, there's no way of making this sound anything other than bad. 

 

 

Edited 24 May 2023 by Parafox

[Daggers]

12 hours ago, Parafox said:

 

And I don't think @Daggers was suggesting he is dependent. 

 

Can confirm it's gone midday and I'm disgustingly sober.

 

I'm of the belief it's the lack of wine that is causing me to procrastinate by coming on here rather than crack on with the 6,000 words I need to finish by 4pm.

[Sampson]

On 22/05/2023 at 20:54, Free Falling Foxes said:

No, not at all.

As Parafox said, brain tumours can cause overnight personality changes as the tumours can literally press against and inhibit or activate different parts of the brains and mess with the neurons and brain chemistry. They can for example inhibit areas of the brain which deal with impulse control. Not saying it's definitely that but if it's a sudden and out of the blue personality change for no other apparent reason it's absolutely worth trying to convince them to get scans for that kind of thing.

Edited 25 May 2023 by Sampson

[Wymsey]

About to embark in doing some volunteering for an UK organisation to help families dealing with certain issues.

[Free Falling Foxes]

4 minutes ago, Sampson said:

As Parafox said, brain tumours can cause overnight personality changes as the tumours can literally press against and inhibit or activate different parts of the brains and mess with the neurons and brain chemistry. They can for example inhibit areas of the brain which deal with impulse control. Not saying it's definitely that but if it's a sudden and out of the blue personality change for no other apparent reason it's absolutely worth trying to convince them to get scans for that kind of thing.

Thanks for the reply and you too @Parafox

I had condidered that too, after reading of such a case. However, from our understanding, he is functioning ok at his job.

Perhaps it's unwise to give too many details on here, but he has, in a matter of days, destoyed his relationship with his wife and children.

They are trying to support/reconcile with him, but he's entrenched in his new outlook and way of behaving.

 

 

[Parafox]

6 hours ago, Free Falling Foxes said:

Thanks for the reply and you too @Parafox

I had condidered that too, after reading of such a case. However, from our understanding, he is functioning ok at his job.

Perhaps it's unwise to give too many details on here, but he has, in a matter of days, destoyed his relationship with his wife and children.

They are trying to support/reconcile with him, but he's entrenched in his new outlook and way of behaving.

 

 

 

Could there be a completely "other" reason?

 

What was the relationship like with his family and friends? I assume good. Maybe there's something else going on in his life that he feels difficult to cope with. Maybe guilt over something that he's being secretive about? Sometimes people who have  financial problems or addictions such as gambling that they have kept from friends and family for years, suddenly realise that the cat is about to come out of the bag and out of guilt and shame, are fearful of admitting it to those they are close to and a psychological, almost unconscious reaction is to push those people away by being hostile, and withdrawn in order to prevent any perceived conflict/feeling of failure, that might arise when said cat is out of said bag. 

 

Dunno. Just putting thoughts down FWIW.

[Phil Bowman]

22 hours ago, rachhere said:

I honestly would listen to your wife here.

One should always listen to one's wife.

 

20 hours ago, Parafox said:

Mrs PF was having a go because I have a glass or 2 most evenings and she was concerned it was a problem for me. It isn't. It's a controlled habit.

I'm lucky in that I've never had problems with alcohol - I can take it or leave it - but I have with some other things. Have you tried going a few evenings without (when you otherwise would drink)? That can be a good way of at least getting an idea whether you're controlling the habit or the other way around. Either way, you're aware of it and you have a wife who cares, so that's a pretty good start towards it not being a problem...

[Parafox]

14 hours ago, Phil Bowman said:

One should always listen to one's wife.

 

I'm lucky in that I've never had problems with alcohol - I can take it or leave it - but I have with some other things. Have you tried going a few evenings without (when you otherwise would drink)? That can be a good way of at least getting an idea whether you're controlling the habit or the other way around. Either way, you're aware of it and you have a wife who cares, so that's a pretty good start towards it not being a problem...

Yes, out of necessity as I have to give my daughter lifts to and from her job 3 or 4 evenings a week, depending on her shifts. And I am in control. 

[Phil Bowman]

4 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Yes, out of necessity as I have to give my daughter lifts to and from her job 3 or 4 evenings a week, depending on her shifts. And I am in control. 

Ok, no worries, glad to hear it, it was just an idea. I was meaning avoiding it when it isn't out of necessity - from my experience trying that can be very interesting with regards to how in control of stuff I think I am. But I'm not qualified to take this discussion further and can only offer anecdotal stuff, so will step back.

[Daggers]

On 25/05/2023 at 12:54, Wymsey said:

About to embark in doing some volunteering for an UK organisation to help families dealing with certain issues.

Is it compulsive chronic onanism, like what @Jattdogg suffers from?  I dread to think what his family has to go through. The washing machine must be constantly on.