Depression

[filthyfox]

53 minutes ago, FoyleFox said:

 

Are you able to have someone accompany you? A union rep or equivalent? For support and and independent counsel. 

I am.  And I will. Good advice though.

[FoxesDeb]

On 28/01/2023 at 21:24, filthyfox said:

Hahaha... no.

I wasn't expecting one either.  I just wanted them to know that they couldn't **** me around.

 

Still going in ready for war though (if my head can manage it).

Good luck with it, let us know how it goes

[filthyfox]

1 hour ago, FoxesDeb said:

Good luck with it, let us know how it goes

Will do.  I expect I have blown it out of all proportions.

 

Am feeling a teeny tiny effect from the sertraline now, so my mood should be....

"Stable"

[urban.spaceman]

On 10/01/2023 at 14:08, urban.spaceman said:

Back in the gym. Wish me luck. 

down 13.99lbs in 3 weeks!

Edited 31 January 2023 by urban.spaceman

[deejdeej]

Had a horrible few weeks. My Dad got rushed to A&E over 3 weeks ago. We thought it was just flu initially, which he would get over. Turned out to be pneumonia and severe sepsis.

 

 

 

After 10 days being on a ventilator and sedation he seemed to be improving and was able to breathe alone and woke up. Had some nice conversations with him and he really seemed to be on the up. Then the last few days he's massively deteriorated and is back on a ventilator.

 

 

 

Dr spoke to us today and told us he has very little chance of living a worthwhile life and is losing so much strength, waiting for MRI results to see if its a stroke that has knocked him back. Now its looking like we'll have an impossible choice to make... keep him going for now and at best he ends up in a nursing home or let him go comfortably. Absolutely horrible to see such a wonderfully kind man and brilliant role model in such a bad way and its heartbreaking seeing my mum this way while trying to battle my own feelings.

Edited 31 January 2023 by deejdeej

[spacemunky]

53 minutes ago, deejdeej said:

Had a horrible few weeks. My Dad got rushed to A&E over 3 weeks ago. We thought it was just flu initially, which he would get over. Turned out to be pneumonia and severe sepsis.

 

 

 

After 10 days being on a ventilator and sedation he seemed to be improving and was able to breathe alone and woke up. Had some nice conversations with him and he really seemed to be on the up. Then the last few days he's massively deteriorated and is back on a ventilator.

 

 

 

Dr spoke to us today and told us he has very little chance of living a worthwhile life and is losing so much strength, waiting for MRI results to see if its a stroke that has knocked him back. Now its looking like we'll have an impossible choice to make... keep him going for now and at best he ends up in a nursing home or let him go comfortably. Absolutely horrible to see such a wonderfully kind man and brilliant role model in such a bad way and its heartbreaking seeing my mum this way while trying to battle my own feelings.

Was in a similar position with my dad just over 10 years ago. We had to let him go, due to the many issues he'd have going forward. It was a horrible decision to make, but I know we made the right choice.

 

Thoughts with you and your family deej.

[deejdeej]

31 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

Was in a similar position with my dad just over 10 years ago. We had to let him go, due to the many issues he'd have going forward. It was a horrible decision to make, but I know we made the right choice.

 

Thoughts with you and your family deej.

Thank you mate

[Crinklyfox]

15 hours ago, deejdeej said:

Had a horrible few weeks. My Dad got rushed to A&E over 3 weeks ago. We thought it was just flu initially, which he would get over. Turned out to be pneumonia and severe sepsis.

 

 

 

After 10 days being on a ventilator and sedation he seemed to be improving and was able to breathe alone and woke up. Had some nice conversations with him and he really seemed to be on the up. Then the last few days he's massively deteriorated and is back on a ventilator.

 

 

 

Dr spoke to us today and told us he has very little chance of living a worthwhile life and is losing so much strength, waiting for MRI results to see if its a stroke that has knocked him back. Now its looking like we'll have an impossible choice to make... keep him going for now and at best he ends up in a nursing home or let him go comfortably. Absolutely horrible to see such a wonderfully kind man and brilliant role model in such a bad way and its heartbreaking seeing my mum this way while trying to battle my own feelings.

I'm sure you want to do what's best for him but it's his life.  My father had a stroke and was paralysed in hospital, uncommunicative and only occasionally conscious.  Years before he told us if he was in such a state we were to let him die and not preserve his life artificially at a horribly reduced level.  Now I was aware that stroke patients can recover, many do not, but until I knew what the outcome would be with some certainty I wasn't prepared to reduce his support, my inclination was that we should give him every chance to live.  I did agree with the doctor's recommendation that if he did die then resuscitation should not be attempted as this may give him only a few hours or maybe a day or two of struggle before he succumbed.  He lived for a week in hospital, far longer than the doctors expected.  So the decision was taken away from us but I would never have forgiven myself it I had given up on him before he gave up on himself.

[filthyfox]

On 29/01/2023 at 20:36, FoxesDeb said:

Good luck with it, let us know how it goes

So.... I got an apology (because they DID get it wrong), and got short term sickness triggers reset and doubled.

The aim is to take time off BEFORE my head implodes, to take less days off in the Long run.

Still off til last week in month

[FoxesDeb]

10 minutes ago, filthyfox said:

So.... I got an apology (because they DID get it wrong), and got short term sickness triggers reset and doubled.

The aim is to take time off BEFORE my head implodes, to take less days off in the Long run.

Still off til last week in month

That sounds pretty positive, are you pleased with the outcome?

[ajthefox]

Not really sure what to say, but I'm thinking of you @deejdeejand sending positive thoughts your way.

[deejdeej]

4 hours ago, ajthefox said:

Not really sure what to say, but I'm thinking of you @deejdeejand sending positive thoughts your way.

Thank you pal, my brilliant Dad passed away a few hours ago, absolutely gutted.

[Izzy]

4 hours ago, deejdeej said:

Thank you pal, my brilliant Dad passed away a few hours ago, absolutely gutted.

Very sorry for your loss mate. May your Dad RIP

[adejo92]

4 hours ago, deejdeej said:

Thank you pal, my brilliant Dad passed away a few hours ago, absolutely gutted.

Sorry to hear this. Go and make him proud mate, he's still present in many ways.

 

I lost mine almost 4 years ago.

[filthyfox]

13 hours ago, FoxesDeb said:

That sounds pretty positive, are you pleased with the outcome?

Yeah. I can move on from it.  My only concern is how to "manage" my condition.

I've spent the last 20 years masking it!

[deejdeej]

3 hours ago, Izzy said:

Very sorry for your loss mate. May your Dad RIP

Thanks Izzy 

[deejdeej]

3 hours ago, adejo92 said:

Sorry to hear this. Go and make him proud mate, he's still present in many ways.

 

I lost mine almost 4 years ago.

Thank you pal, I sure will do and really hope he is. Breaks my heart knowing he won't pop up on my phone again or turn up out of the blue offering to help out with some DIY. Hope you're coping okay without your Dad.

[lifted*fox]

quick offer to my fellow mental health strugglers: 

 

I'm a PT at a gym in Oadby. I retrained as a PT last year after the gym pulled me out of a pretty dark place which I'd been stuck in for a few years.

 

through weight lifting - I found that even though everything else in my life was at a stand-still, if I went to the gym every day and put the work in, I could make small improvements every day.

 

this gave me a real sense of achievement - my physical health and strength improved significantly and my mental wellbeing improved alongside it. 

 

I retrained because I wanted to help other people improve their mental health through fitness - so my new passion became my job - it turned my life around, really. 

 

if you're feeling down, feeling stuck, feeling low on self-esteem - HIT ME UP.

 

I've got some time and space to take a few people on who want to come down and try some weight lifting (or some hiit / circuits - if you'd prefer). 

 

I'll guide you through an hour session on a few different things FREE OF CHARGE - you just need to pay the £6 day fee for the gym. 

 

Open to male / female, any age - you just need to be free of any serious injury and not have any 'no exercise' warnings from your doctor (heart issues, etc.) 

 

if you read this and even remotely consider it for a small moment - give it a go - it could be the thing that helps you push on as well! 

 

drop me a DM and I'll get back to you. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TeamRocket]

Okay not sure if this goes here but my niece has just told me she self harming due to things that are happening at school, am not sure what to do as live really far from her. She basically told me that she feels alone at school as the friends she has keep, keeping her out of stuff they do and now she doesn't have any friends and when she trys to make new friends the old friends ask her to her friend again all goes well for a week or 2 but then they do the same thing keep her out and then stop talking to her. She then goes and makes friends again and so on. She has also said that some times the girls tell her new friends to stop being her friend too. She has spoken to mum and dad but they don't seem to care and when she spoke to a teacher she feels they don't care. I would like to make her feel special and loved but not sure how to help her. I have said to her she can speak to me when ever she wants and told her it's okay cos they won't be Ur friends in the long term as u will find new friends etc and told her to just be her and soon people who are like you will come and people who aren't will go and that's when you know they are real. I also told her to join out of school stuff they she likes cos then she would be around like minded people but I dunno if that was the right thing. I really feel for her and wouldn't ever want her to self harm or feel like no one cares is there anything else I could possibly do from far? And when should I be really worried? 

[FoyleFox]

1 hour ago, TeamRocket said:

Okay not sure if this goes here but my niece has just told me she self harming due to things that are happening at school, am not sure what to do as live really far from her. She basically told me that she feels alone at school as the friends she has keep, keeping her out of stuff they do and now she doesn't have any friends and when she trys to make new friends the old friends ask her to her friend again all goes well for a week or 2 but then they do the same thing keep her out and then stop talking to her. She then goes and makes friends again and so on. She has also said that some times the girls tell her new friends to stop being her friend too. She has spoken to mum and dad but they don't seem to care and when she spoke to a teacher she feels they don't care. I would like to make her feel special and loved but not sure how to help her. I have said to her she can speak to me when ever she wants and told her it's okay cos they won't be Ur friends in the long term as u will find new friends etc and told her to just be her and soon people who are like you will come and people who aren't will go and that's when you know they are real. I also told her to join out of school stuff they she likes cos then she would be around like minded people but I dunno if that was the right thing. I really feel for her and wouldn't ever want her to self harm or feel like no one cares is there anything else I could possibly do from far? And when should I be really worried? 

It's great that she felt able to reach out to you and very important that she felt listened to. How close are you to her parents? Could you speak to them? Do you think it's possible they didn't comprehend the severity of the problem when your neice spoke to them, rather than they didn't care? 

At the very least, having you for support has to be a good thing for her. 

[TeamRocket]

17 hours ago, FoyleFox said:

It's great that she felt able to reach out to you and very important that she felt listened to. How close are you to her parents? Could you speak to them? Do you think it's possible they didn't comprehend the severity of the problem when your neice spoke to them, rather than they didn't care? 

At the very least, having you for support has to be a good thing for her. 

We ain't really that close her mum and dad and me to be honest only see them onces a blue moon if they come to my mum's house that is. Am not sure to be honest she has said that she has told them about self harming and they told her that just move on it happens to everyone

[Raj]

On 02/02/2023 at 02:27, deejdeej said:

Thank you pal, my brilliant Dad passed away a few hours ago, absolutely gutted.

My dad passed away in August and I still forget that hes dead and I'll goto the phone to ring him.at our usual time of 5pm!

Family know what I'm doing but ignore it and I'll just joke " shit forgotten he aint here!".

Time IS a healer,  I've lost my brother and mum 14 years ago too.

 

[FoyleFox]

12 minutes ago, TeamRocket said:

We ain't really that close her mum and dad and me to be honest only see them onces a blue moon if they come to my mum's house that is. Am not sure to be honest she has said that she has told them about self harming and they told her that just move on it happens to everyone

Would your Mum be in a position to talk to your sibling?

The school are surely obliged to take this far more seriously, they have a duty of care. But that needs to be pursued by an adult family member.

And given the recent publicity concerning the young girl that committed suicide, the relevant authorities were pledging to do more regarding self harm and cyberbullying etc. I'm sure it's not 'something that happens to everyone'.

I've absolutely no experience with teenagers but, I'm certain, it's a difficult step to reach out. Having done so, support from her parents and the school should be a priority.

In the interim, you keeping communication up with her, asking how she is, just checking, hopefully makes her feel supported.

[TeamRocket]

3 hours ago, FoyleFox said:

Would your Mum be in a position to talk to your sibling?

The school are surely obliged to take this far more seriously, they have a duty of care. But that needs to be pursued by an adult family member.

And given the recent publicity concerning the young girl that committed suicide, the relevant authorities were pledging to do more regarding self harm and cyberbullying etc. I'm sure it's not 'something that happens to everyone'.

I've absolutely no experience with teenagers but, I'm certain, it's a difficult step to reach out. Having done so, support from her parents and the school should be a priority.

In the interim, you keeping communication up with her, asking how she is, just checking, hopefully makes her feel supported.

Thanks for all the advice I will try that speak to my mum but dunno if she will be able to help much as she's 83years old and my brother who is the dad to this poor girl is 60 summit. Am hoping by speaking to her everyday will help her. Kids can be so mean some times but think that's partly due to not knowing how much it effects the other person. Anyway will take it advice and hope for the best.

 

Ps. really appreciate the help

Edited 7 February 2023 by TeamRocket

[TeamRocket]

3 hours ago, Raj said:

My dad passed away in August and I still forget that hes dead and I'll goto the phone to ring him.at our usual time of 5pm!

Family know what I'm doing but ignore it and I'll just joke " shit forgotten he aint here!".

Time IS a healer,  I've lost my brother and mum 14 years ago too.

 

Feel for you dude, I lost my dad last year and my mum always used to call him to come eat while he would be in his shed making summit and till this day my mum still make him his sandwich and calls him, and then moans about how he such a child that she has to call him to eat.