Depression

[Bellend Sebastian]

10 minutes ago, Daggers said:

Is it compulsive chronic onanism, like what @Jattdogg suffers from?  I dread to think what his family has to go through. The washing machine must be constantly on.

You've written this like there are other types 

[Free Falling Foxes]

19 hours ago, Parafox said:

 

Could there be a completely "other" reason?

 

What was the relationship like with his family and friends? I assume good. Maybe there's something else going on in his life that he feels difficult to cope with. Maybe guilt over something that he's being secretive about? Sometimes people who have  financial problems or addictions such as gambling that they have kept from friends and family for years, suddenly realise that the cat is about to come out of the bag and out of guilt and shame, are fearful of admitting it to those they are close to and a psychological, almost unconscious reaction is to push those people away by being hostile, and withdrawn in order to prevent any perceived conflict/feeling of failure, that might arise when said cat is out of said bag. 

 

Dunno. Just putting thoughts down FWIW.

Thanks PF. It is food for thought, but we are not aware of anything untoward happening elsewhere in his life.

I guess time will tell but it certainly seems something has 'snapped' with him.

[Jattdogg]

1 hour ago, Daggers said:

Is it compulsive chronic onanism, like what @Jattdogg suffers from?  I dread to think what his family has to go through. The washing machine must be constantly on.

All men are tossers! Lol

 

Wife does the washing

[urban.spaceman]

Today's the day. Stay safe everyone. x

[urban.spaceman]

Hope everyone is OK.

[HighPeakFox]

Yes, I am aghast at the main part of the forum, but personally ok.

[TJQuik]

On 25/05/2023 at 12:59, Free Falling Foxes said:

Thanks for the reply and you too @Parafox

I had condidered that too, after reading of such a case. However, from our understanding, he is functioning ok at his job.

Perhaps it's unwise to give too many details on here, but he has, in a matter of days, destoyed his relationship with his wife and children.

They are trying to support/reconcile with him, but he's entrenched in his new outlook and way of behaving.

 

 

If it's this stark of a personality change it sounds a little bit like a manic episode.

[TJQuik]

1 hour ago, HighPeakFox said:

Yes, I am aghast at the main part of the forum, but personally ok.

I think I have too much to deal with at the moment to be too affected by the football.

[HybridFox]

This will be hard for a while

[MPH]

Much love to all xxx

[urban.spaceman]

I love my friends, but it's always funny to me how much we can catch up over a deep chat addressing their issues without ever addressing mine. Feeling extremely let down, but it's par for the ****ing course.

[Phil Bowman]

8 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

I am aghast at the main part of the forum

It's remarkable, it really is. There are a lot of people there who would benefit from this thread.

 

In all honesty, I'm quite enjoying myself over there adding  to my 'ignored' list. The way it's going I reckon before long I'll open up the main forum and won't see any posts at all...

 

Echoing the hope that everyone here's okay. I've been happy to discover that my Zen football fandom philosophy seems to hold up under pressure.

 

 

[Phil Bowman]

6 hours ago, HybridFox said:

This will be hard for a while

It will, but it will pass.

 

And once the dust has settled, it is possible to find ways to not feel quite so crappy about football in the future.

[Lionator]

You have to really deconstruct the context of Football to kinda be ok with it? So with the premier league, why is it so important that we play in that league and why should it affect my mental health if we don’t? There’s the obvious disappointment around the team being crap but football is about more than the division you’re in. 

[TJQuik]

Echoing the hope that everyone here's okay. I've been happy to discover that my Zen football fandom philosophy seems to hold up under pressure.

Care to share a bit about this?

Edited 29 May 2023 by TJQuik

[BKLFox]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

You have to really deconstruct the context of Football to kinda be ok with it? So with the premier league, why is it so important that we play in that league and why should it affect my mental health if we don’t? There’s the obvious disappointment around the team being crap but football is about more than the division you’re in. 

Excellent post and should be pinned to the top of every thread in my opinion, 👏 Lionator.

 

[HighPeakFox]

Good morning all. I'm en route to Pembrokeshire, the favourite person I mentioned some time ago unable to join me and a funeral to return to. I'm perfectly OK but have much to ponder. 

 

I wish I could go for a meal with many of you good people later on today. 

[Brainy]

8 minutes ago, BKLFox said:

Excellent post and should be pinned to the top of every thread in my opinion, 👏 Lionator.

 

Should probably be specially DM'd to all those who ridiculed the guy who said he's looking forward to championship football last night. People follow and enjoy football for many different reasons and to different levels of involvement. Some let a bad result ruin their weekend, some are able to easily move on. If some older fella and his son/grandson want to stay behind and clap the players yesterday, let them. He's probably seen times a lot worse than this season whereas some of our younger generation aren't used to this. Perhaps they're clapping the likes of Tielemans/Maddison etc for their efforts and achievements over their stint here, because we're unlikely to see them wearing blue again. 

 

Personally I've not enjoyed football for a few years, not sure if that's because we completed it in 2016/2021, because of the black cloud over the club recently? Part of me thinks you enjoy the ride to try and make it to the top, we did that. Then what? As a fanbase our expectations are high to the extent that an 8th place finish and a European SF last season was seen as very disappointing, if not even a failure. I think that's mad. I support a bang average (at best) county cricket club, it winds me up when we get hammered but it's not unexpected. On the contrary I support a hugely successful F1 driver which over the last few years has made me feel the same as football does. You get used to winning, then when it stops it's hard to swallow. It's why serial winners like Klopp are bad losers. 

 

I get too sucked in to social media and because Leicester/F1 driver are very much in the spotlight, you're surrounded by people who frankly have no clue, or are blinkered and biased to the extreme. I'm not going to suggest *I want* to play in the EFL because of it, but to me one of the nicer things about near season is being able to move out of the spotlight somewhat. More games, different grounds, new players and new manager incoming. I don't care what division we're in, I just want to enjoy myself. Doesn't matter whether you're a fan of Man City, Leicester, Crewe, Bishops Stortford, all you just want is to win and enjoy yourself in doing so. All clubs have a natural level they can reach on a consistent basis, maybe we've just found out what ours is. 

[Foxdiamond]

14 minutes ago, Stinky said:

Should probably be specially DM'd to all those who ridiculed the guy who said he's looking forward to championship football last night. People follow and enjoy football for many different reasons and to different levels of involvement. Some let a bad result ruin their weekend, some are able to easily move on. If some older fella and his son/grandson want to stay behind and clap the players yesterday, let them. He's probably seen times a lot worse than this season whereas some of our younger generation aren't used to this. Perhaps they're clapping the likes of Tielemans/Maddison etc for their efforts and achievements over their stint here, because we're unlikely to see them wearing blue again. 

 

Personally I've not enjoyed football for a few years, not sure if that's because we completed it in 2016/2021, because of the black cloud over the club recently? Part of me thinks you enjoy the ride to try and make it to the top, we did that. Then what? As a fanbase our expectations are high to the extent that an 8th place finish and a European SF last season was seen as very disappointing, if not even a failure. I think that's mad. I support a bang average (at best) county cricket club, it winds me up when we get hammered but it's not unexpected. On the contrary I support a hugely successful F1 driver which over the last few years has made me feel the same as football does. You get used to winning, then when it stops it's hard to swallow. It's why serial winners like Klopp are bad losers. 

 

I get too sucked in to social media and because Leicester/F1 driver are very much in the spotlight, you're surrounded by people who frankly have no clue, or are blinkered and biased to the extreme. I'm not going to suggest *I want* to play in the EFL because of it, but to me one of the nicer things about near season is being able to move out of the spotlight somewhat. More games, different grounds, new players and new manager incoming. I don't care what division we're in, I just want to enjoy myself. Doesn't matter whether you're a fan of Man City, Leicester, Crewe, Bishops Stortford, all you just want is to win and enjoy yourself in doing so. All clubs have a natural level they can reach on a consistent basis, maybe we've just found out what ours is. 

Well said. I think we sports fans get stuck in this emotional bubble. The ups and downs are part of the ride. Speak to people who don't follow football and you realise there is a madness to our fixation. Try and keep it in perspective and don't let it leak into your real life too much.

[Phil Bowman]

1 hour ago, TJQuik said:

3 hours ago, Phil Bowman said:

Echoing the hope that everyone here's okay. I've been happy to discover that my Zen football fandom philosophy seems to hold up under pressure.

Care to share a bit about this?

Happy to!

(Although it may be that it all only applies to me, and isn't much use to anyone else...)

 

Basically:

I realised that my ability to affect how my football team does is precisely zero. And that allowing my state of mind to be negatively affected by something I have no control over is a recipe for disaster.

 

For me, the key is that I can now take happiness from whenever they do well, without only being able to be happy when they do well. I enjoy any success the team have, but I am not devastated by failure. Leicester City is part of my life, but it is only a part. And when compared to my family, friends and health, it is only a small part. I didn't fully realise that for a very long time.

 

All easier said than done, of course, and it's taken me decades of following the buggers to finally work all this out and reach this point. Winning the league (and then the cup on top) helped a lot, because I know that whatever we achieve in the future, it will never match what we've already done (probably nothing any club does will match 2015-16), and so I have become  much more 'what will be will be' about it - which I think is crucial for something that we have no influence over.

 

Right now - I'm a bit disappointed that we got relegated, of course I am - but that's only in a corner of the back of my mind, and is having zero effect on my ability to enjoy the lovely sunshine and be happy in the company of my family. Probably more importantly, it means it has zero effect on my family's ability to enjoy my company.

 

I'm rambling a bit, and I don't know if any of it makes any sense. Happy to discuss anything about it (if I don't reply it'll be because my daily posting limit has kicked in...)

[Monk]

2 minutes ago, Phil Bowman said:

Happy to!

(Although it may be that it all only applies to me, and isn't much use to anyone else...)

 

Basically:

I realised that my ability to affect how my football team does is precisely zero. And that allowing my state of mind to be negatively affected by something I have no control over is a recipe for disaster.

 

For me, the key is that I can now take happiness from whenever they do well, without only being able to be happy when they do well. I enjoy any success the team have, but I am not devastated by failure. Leicester City is part of my life, but it is only a part. And when compared to my family, friends and health, it is only a small part. I didn't fully realise that for a very long time.

 

All easier said than done, of course, and it's taken me decades of following the buggers to finally work all this out and reach this point. Winning the league (and then the cup on top) helped a lot, because I know that whatever we achieve in the future, it will never match what we've already done (probably nothing any club does will match 2015-16), and so I have become  much more 'what will be will be' about it - which I think is crucial for something that we have no influence over.

 

Right now - I'm a bit disappointed that we got relegated, of course I am - but that's only in a corner of the back of my mind, and is having zero effect on my ability to enjoy the lovely sunshine and be happy in the company of my family. Probably more importantly, it means it has zero effect on my family's ability to enjoy my company.

 

I'm rambling a bit, and I don't know if any of it makes any sense. Happy to discuss anything about it (if I don't reply it'll be because my daily posting limit has kicked in...)

This sounds more like stoicism than zen but agree with what you say. 

For me I remember being at the Arsenal 3-3 draw in 1997 and my dad turned to me and said - enjoy this while it lasts because it won’t last forever.

[TJQuik]

.

Edited 29 May 2023 by TJQuik

[Phil Bowman]

6 minutes ago, Monk said:

This sounds more like stoicism than zen

Oh, yeah, I don't actually know what 'Zen' really means, it's just what I call it! Happy to be a stoic if that's what I actually am!

[Phil Bowman]

7 hours ago, Phil Bowman said:

In all honesty, I'm quite enjoying myself over there adding  to my 'ignored' list. The way it's going I reckon before long I'll open up the main forum and won't see any posts at all...

Hmmm... I forgot you can't ignore mods. That's going to scupper this ambitious dream.

[urban.spaceman]

Seriously unwell.