Giving up Alcohol

[filthyfox]

3 hours ago, Izzy said:

Feeling very embarrassed reading the start of this thread with all my "life is great without alcohol" posts.

 

It was, for just over 8 years, and I never gave booze a second thought. It wasn't part of my life anymore, I didn't miss it, and I was quite content being Teetotal.

 

And then just over a year ago my Mum died. It hit me hard and I spent the immediate two weeks afterwards staying with my Dad to help him get through it.

 

He's always been a regular drinker and the night after Mum died we sat talking and I asked him for a shot of his malt whiskey which I thoroughly enjoyed. Over the next 2 weeks we went through his various bottles of malt every evening and talked about memories of Mum while planning the funeral.

 

Then I went home and I didn't have any whiskey, so I bought some. And then when that bottle ran out, I bought another one. And then we moved house and I was flat out doing a renovation so started having a few beers every evening, followed by some whiskey. 

 

So here I am a year on and realising I haven't had a dry day since December '24. I had three bottles of Glenmorangie 15 The Lasanta malt whiskey for Christmas and I'm just about to finish the third bottle. And then I'll probably buy some more.

 

No idea why I'm posting this apart from admitting to myself that despite my 8 year hiatus, I'm still an alchoholic and probably always will be.

 

If you had 8 years without, then you clearly have had help from a superior being before...  AA will help. X

[spacemunky]

6 hours ago, Izzy said:

Feeling very embarrassed reading the start of this thread with all my "life is great without alcohol" posts.

 

It was, for just over 8 years, and I never gave booze a second thought. It wasn't part of my life anymore, I didn't miss it, and I was quite content being Teetotal.

 

And then just over a year ago my Mum died. It hit me hard and I spent the immediate two weeks afterwards staying with my Dad to help him get through it.

 

He's always been a regular drinker and the night after Mum died we sat talking and I asked him for a shot of his malt whiskey which I thoroughly enjoyed. Over the next 2 weeks we went through his various bottles of malt every evening and talked about memories of Mum while planning the funeral.

 

Then I went home and I didn't have any whiskey, so I bought some. And then when that bottle ran out, I bought another one. And then we moved house and I was flat out doing a renovation so started having a few beers every evening, followed by some whiskey. 

 

So here I am a year on and realising I haven't had a dry day since December '24. I had three bottles of Glenmorangie 15 The Lasanta malt whiskey for Christmas and I'm just about to finish the third bottle. And then I'll probably buy some more.

 

No idea why I'm posting this apart from admitting to myself that despite my 8 year hiatus, I'm still an alchoholic and probably always will be.

 

I guess it's me that keeps bumping this. Sorry Izzy!

 

I quit for 7 years from the age of 35 to 42. That year I lost a friend and my dad passed away on my 42nd birthday.

 

So....now here I am at 56 years old and 2 months sober.

 

It's never too late.

[spacemunky]

So...I'd made it 3 months at the first of this month, but screwed up on Sunday and drank heavily.

 

It really didn't help with what was going on at the time. Felt awful yesterday. Was so shaky and still am a bit today.

 

Today would have been my day #100, so that kinda bums me out. 

 

On the positive side, I drank once out of 100 days! Which is 99 times less that I'd always done.

[Thefox81]

1 hour ago, spacemunky said:

So...I'd made it 3 months at the first of this month, but screwed up on Sunday and drank heavily.

 

It really didn't help with what was going on at the time. Felt awful yesterday. Was so shaky and still am a bit today.

 

Today would have been my day #100, so that kinda bums me out. 

 

On the positive side, I drank once out of 100 days! Which is 99 times less that I'd always done.

Keep it up mate. Dont let 1 slip up define it. Just get back up dust yourself off and keep going.

[Zear0]

1 hour ago, spacemunky said:

So...I'd made it 3 months at the first of this month, but screwed up on Sunday and drank heavily.

 

It really didn't help with what was going on at the time. Felt awful yesterday. Was so shaky and still am a bit today.

 

Today would have been my day #100, so that kinda bums me out. 

 

On the positive side, I drank once out of 100 days! Which is 99 times less that I'd always done.

Think you’ve nailed it with the last sentence. Easy to let a setback undermine all the good work which isn’t the case. It’s so easy to let the shame and anger of and relapse make us give up. Keep going buddy, great effort.

[Lionator]

1 hour ago, spacemunky said:

So...I'd made it 3 months at the first of this month, but screwed up on Sunday and drank heavily.

 

It really didn't help with what was going on at the time. Felt awful yesterday. Was so shaky and still am a bit today.

 

Today would have been my day #100, so that kinda bums me out. 

 

On the positive side, I drank once out of 100 days! Which is 99 times less that I'd always done.

On the physical side, your body will have done so much repairing over those 99 days. So don’t beat yourself up over that. It’s not a loss, it’s a bump in the road my Canadian friend!!

[spacemunky]

20 minutes ago, Thefox81 said:

Keep it up mate. Dont let 1 slip up define it. Just get back up dust yourself off and keep going.

 I shall!

 

Thanks 

14 minutes ago, Zear0 said:

Think you’ve nailed it with the last sentence. Easy to let a setback undermine all the good work which isn’t the case. It’s so easy to let the shame and anger of and relapse make us give up. Keep going buddy, great effort.

Definitely trying to be positive about it.

 

Thanks 

1 minute ago, Lionator said:

On the physical side, your body will have done so much repairing over those 99 days. So don’t beat yourself up over that. It’s not a loss, it’s a bump in the road my Canadian friend!!

It's definitely not as bad this time around. When I started December 1st it was a nightmare coming from drinking all day, every day to having none. 

 

I've lost 10 pounds and that would be more if I hadnt replaced alcohol with sweets for a couple months 

 

Thanks for the support! 

[grobyfox1990]

1 hour ago, spacemunky said:

So...I'd made it 3 months at the first of this month, but screwed up on Sunday and drank heavily.

 

It really didn't help with what was going on at the time. Felt awful yesterday. Was so shaky and still am a bit today.

 

Today would have been my day #100, so that kinda bums me out. 

 

On the positive side, I drank once out of 100 days! Which is 99 times less that I'd always done.

Dry for 99 days is incredible, no way I’d have the willpower to do that, congrats. Clock has reset and go again 

[Lionator]

When people who drink to cope decide to stop, how do you deal with those first few days???

[Grebfromgrebland]

19 minutes ago, Lionator said:

When people who drink to cope decide to stop, how do you deal with those first few days???

I normally have a couple of beers just to settle the nerves

[danny.]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

When people who drink to cope decide to stop, how do you deal with those first few days???

Exercise, if you can, is a good distraction as is mindfulness/meditation etc. still tough whatever though

 

[Lionator]

1 hour ago, Grebfromgrebland said:

I normally have a couple of beers just to settle the nerves

Probably safer than cold turkey but I suppose there still has to be a zero point 

[spacemunky]

3 hours ago, Lionator said:

When people who drink to cope decide to stop, how do you deal with those first few days???

They are awful for sure.

 

When I initially stopped December 1st of last year, I was coming off of drinking all day and every day.

 

I stayed in bed for a good portion of day one. When I did get up I was just drinking as much water as I could.

 

First week I hardly slept at all, but as the days went by I would get a bit more sleep each night.

 

Just continued to drink water/sparkling water and tea. Also tried to keep myself busy as much as possible. That was difficult though early on because my mind was racing.

 

The thing to remember though is that it gets better after those first few days and more so after a week.

 

After my recent one day slip-up, I am back on track and doing well. Lost a fair amount of weight, walking every day and eating much better. Skin is better and sleeping is great.

 

It is definitely worth fighting through those early days.

[Lionator]

2 hours ago, spacemunky said:

They are awful for sure.

 

When I initially stopped December 1st of last year, I was coming off of drinking all day and every day.

 

I stayed in bed for a good portion of day one. When I did get up I was just drinking as much water as I could.

 

First week I hardly slept at all, but as the days went by I would get a bit more sleep each night.

 

Just continued to drink water/sparkling water and tea. Also tried to keep myself busy as much as possible. That was difficult though early on because my mind was racing.

 

The thing to remember though is that it gets better after those first few days and more so after a week.

 

After my recent one day slip-up, I am back on track and doing well. Lost a fair amount of weight, walking every day and eating much better. Skin is better and sleeping is great.

 

It is definitely worth fighting through those early days.

Proud of you for getting straight back on the sober path after your slip up!! 

[spacemunky]

2 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Proud of you for getting straight back on the sober path after your slip up!! 

In the past it could have gone on months or years, so I was happy to have not gone that way(again).

 

Of course, I have to remind myself that just because I was able to do that, 'moderation' is not a thing for me.

[Lionator]

I’ve had a very tough weekend where I met with mates yesterday and got absolutely hammered then I’ve drank through the anxiety today. Tomorrow it stops hopefully for as long as possible. I need a dry spell. 

[spacemunky]

3 hours ago, Lionator said:

I’ve had a very tough weekend where I met with mates yesterday and got absolutely hammered then I’ve drank through the anxiety today. Tomorrow it stops hopefully for as long as possible. I need a dry spell. 

That was the problem for me, the increased anxiety and drinking to 'fix" it

 

Dry spell is always a good idea.

[Lionator]

7 hours ago, spacemunky said:

That was the problem for me, the increased anxiety and drinking to 'fix" it

 

Dry spell is always a good idea.

I’m good this morning, just very anxious but weirdly motivated to stop for good now. I’m hoping I can maintain, I get no joy out of alcohol anymore, it’s just a crutch.

[STEVIE B]

Has anyone read the Adrian Chiles book, 'The Good Drinker. How l Learned To Love Drink Less' ? 

 

I know someone that has read it (not that he has a drink problem). Apparently, Chiles talks about 'Beating the week', in one section. 

This is basically not drinking for more days than you are.

So for instance, if you only drink on a Friday & Saturday, you win 5-2 & so on.

It's supposed to be very a good read. 

 

Edited 11 May by STEVIE B

[steflcfc]

Adrian Childs also did a documentary about his drinking called “Drinkers like me”

 

Its from 2018, just googled it and mentions it’s still on BBC iPlayer, that was also a decent watch and may lead into what Stevie B says about about his book 

[Alf Bentley]

2 hours ago, STEVIE B said:

Has anyone read the Adrian Chiles book, 'The Good Drinker. How l Learned To Love Drink Less' ? 

 

I know someone that has read it (not that he has a drink problem). Apparently, Chiles talks about 'Beating the week', in one section. 

This is basically not drinking for more days than you are.

So for instance, if you only drink on a Friday & Saturday, you win 5-2 & so on.

It's supposed to be very a good read. 

 

 

If the Friday & Saturday drinking isn't a problem, surely you win 7-0, not 5-2?

 

The fact the Fri/Sat drinking is counted as "goals against" makes me think the drinker is still viewing it as problematic in some way....

 

My personal context is that for about 25 years, I tried numerous methods of limiting my problematic alcohol intake, including 2-3 days off per week, limited number of units per week etc.

I was deluding myself. I never drank every day and units per week was a secondary consideration. The problem was that on many occasions when I did drink, I'd drink too much and negatives would ensue. I eventually found that total abstinence was the only way of fully controlling my intake and avoiding negatives. Most problem drinkers find the same, though a minority can limit intake.

 

During one period in my mid-20s, when I had a demanding new job, I became a weekend-only drinker. I'd end up getting wrecked on Friday & Saturday, recovering Sunday, then spending the week looking forward to the next weekend release/binge. Chiles' strategy sounds like a recipe for that sort of life balance....not ideal. I'm not being anti-booze (I had some great times boozing), I just think it's crucial that each individual is honest with himself/herself about the nature of any problem and what will/won't address it:

- If someone is genuinely at ease with a life of weekend boozing and weekday sobriety, great....that's a 7-0 win, then - and a luckier person than me, as I couldn't manage it.

- Likewise, with any other drinking pattern: if you're genuinely at ease with your life balance drinking in that pattern, it's not really a problem, is it?

- But if you're not fully at ease with your drinking - whatever the level. frequency or pattern - you need to honestly identify the problem and do something that addresses it.

 

But trying to convince yourself that things are OK, by announcing 5-2 wins, while trying to avoid 2 nights turning into 3 or 4 or whatever is a self-deluding "white knuckle" strategy that is unlikely to work long-term. In many cases, the person will end up trying to convince themselves that it was OK drinking 10 pints Friday & Saturday and feeling awful for 3+ days, then spending the week impatiently looking forward to the next binge. That's if they don't slip up and "have a couple" on Monday or Wednesday or Thursday, as they were "feeling a bit low/rough" or whatever...

 

Good luck to everyone, though, whatever path you take. That's always the No.1 thing that I learned - every drink problem is different (though some are similar) and every path to improving things is different, too.

[grobyfox1990]

33 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

If the Friday & Saturday drinking isn't a problem, surely you win 7-0, not 5-2?

 

The fact the Fri/Sat drinking is counted as "goals against" makes me think the drinker is still viewing it as problematic in some way....

 

My personal context is that for about 25 years, I tried numerous methods of limiting my problematic alcohol intake, including 2-3 days off per week, limited number of units per week etc.

I was deluding myself. I never drank every day and units per week was a secondary consideration. The problem was that on many occasions when I did drink, I'd drink too much and negatives would ensue. I eventually found that total abstinence was the only way of fully controlling my intake and avoiding negatives. Most problem drinkers find the same, though a minority can limit intake.

 

During one period in my mid-20s, when I had a demanding new job, I became a weekend-only drinker. I'd end up getting wrecked on Friday & Saturday, recovering Sunday, then spending the week looking forward to the next weekend release/binge. Chiles' strategy sounds like a recipe for that sort of life balance....not ideal. I'm not being anti-booze (I had some great times boozing), I just think it's crucial that each individual is honest with himself/herself about the nature of any problem and what will/won't address it:

- If someone is genuinely at ease with a life of weekend boozing and weekday sobriety, great....that's a 7-0 win, then - and a luckier person than me, as I couldn't manage it.

- Likewise, with any other drinking pattern: if you're genuinely at ease with your life balance drinking in that pattern, it's not really a problem, is it?

- But if you're not fully at ease with your drinking - whatever the level. frequency or pattern - you need to honestly identify the problem and do something that addresses it.

 

But trying to convince yourself that things are OK, by announcing 5-2 wins, while trying to avoid 2 nights turning into 3 or 4 or whatever is a self-deluding "white knuckle" strategy that is unlikely to work long-term. In many cases, the person will end up trying to convince themselves that it was OK drinking 10 pints Friday & Saturday and feeling awful for 3+ days, then spending the week impatiently looking forward to the next binge. That's if they don't slip up and "have a couple" on Monday or Wednesday or Thursday, as they were "feeling a bit low/rough" or whatever...

 

Good luck to everyone, though, whatever path you take. That's always the No.1 thing that I learned - every drink problem is different (though some are similar) and every path to improving things is different, too.

I think he is framing it as a drink v non-drink day. I only drink fri and sat so also 'win' every week 5-2. This week I won't drink on Saturday so I am gonna win 6-1.

Like you in my mid-20s I was working 7 days a week and 100 hours most weeks, so I used to drink everyday. You're young and pushing every boundary so it made complete sense then and was hugely enjoyable. I got a tiny bit more senior so now do not have to edit spreadsheets and v77 of proposal decks at 1am so started weekend only drinking, now it is a completely stuck habit which I am unable to break.

[Alf Bentley]

7 minutes ago, grobyfox1990 said:

I think he is framing it as a drink v non-drink day. I only drink fri and sat so also 'win' every week 5-2. This week I won't drink on Saturday so I am gonna win 6-1.

Like you in my mid-20s I was working 7 days a week and 100 hours most weeks, so I used to drink everyday. You're young and pushing every boundary so it made complete sense then and was hugely enjoyable. I got a tiny bit more senior so now do not have to edit spreadsheets and v77 of proposal decks at 1am so started weekend only drinking, now it is a completely stuck habit which I am unable to break.

 

I take your point, I think. If you have a completely stuck habit of weekend drinking (even if you're not completely happy about it), then it could be beneficial to find a psychological means of ensuring 2 nights per week doesn't become 4 or 7.

 

Particularly so, if your risk is mainly of drifting into drinking most or all nights, not drinking excessively on particular occasions. The opposite was the case for me: I never wanted to drink every day, but often drank too much on drinking days. I still suspect that an awful lot of drinkers would be like me and would end up getting wrecked at weekends and/or drift into the odd extra night. But maybe it's a strategy that could work for someone who had more self-control than me when they were actually drinking...

 

p.s. The fact your 5-2 win becomes a 6-1 this week maybe suggests your habit isn't as completely stuck as you suggest?

[STEVIE B]

45 minutes ago, grobyfox1990 said:

I think he is framing it as a drink v non-drink day. I only drink fri and sat so also 'win' every week 5-2. This week I won't drink on Saturday so I am gonna win 6-1.

Like you in my mid-20s I was working 7 days a week and 100 hours most weeks, so I used to drink everyday. You're young and pushing every boundary so it made complete sense then and was hugely enjoyable. I got a tiny bit more senior so now do not have to edit spreadsheets and v77 of proposal decks at 1am so started weekend only drinking, now it is a completely stuck habit which I am unable to break.

Thanks, that's exactly what I'm saying.

As the topic suggests, 'Giving up Alcohol', would be to eventually win every single week 7-0.......no alcohol whatsoever. 

 

I'm sure cutting out alcoholic completely for some is very difficult, so 'beating the week', is at least moving in the right direction. 

 

[goose2010]

John Robbins the comedian has just released his book (its on audio book on Spotify as well) that is about his battle with alcohol, i haven't read it yet as it only came out on Friday however its meant to be great and his stand up (Howl) i have seen live and it is brilliant albeit a bit dark in places as it is about his drinking. I've listened to a few interviews he has done about drinking and he never was a bottle of whisky a day alcoholic it was the dependents of alcohol rather than the addiction. 

 

it might help hearing about drinking from a different angle. 

 

me personally i have cut my drinking down massively in the past 18 months mainly down to health - my 40 year review was a scary time with the docs. i, like others have tried to replace it with exercise, not at the time i would normally drink but the morning after, no way would i used to have gone the gym or out for a run on a Saturday or Sunday morning but i tend to do it now. My liver health is improving, my health is better and i actually feel alive at the weekends (i have also cut out LCFC so that has probably helped)