Giving up Alcohol

[Parafox]

Just now, Steve_Guppy_Left_Foot said:

Where I am, it’s not AA but not a million miles off, there are some truly harrowing stories, plenty of people who literally have to drink to stay safe, who need to be medically detoxed before they can start enacting the changes they want to make.

 

I'm not disclosing any personal info but there was one memorable individual at the meeting I went to who disclosed that she would drink 3 - 4 bottles of red wine a night. She didn't drink during the day as she had kids at home. Her eldest son bought her a nice bottle of wine for her birthday once. She made him take it back and get it exchanged for 3 bottles of the crap stuff. It wasn't about the taste experience it was purely about the alcohol.

 

I hope you find your support group... supportive. Good luck on your journey away from alcohol.

[spacemunky]

Haven't had anything to drink this month, after a big relapse the last few months.

 

Read Allen Carr's 'The Easy Way to Control Alcohol' and found it really helpful. Along with joining a subreddit for people who are trying to quit.

 

This time of the year is especially tough for me(and probably a lot of people). I might have to take a pass on the family Christmas stuff. I'm definitely not ready for that sh*t...yet.

 

Not having that wake up in the early hours anxiety is nice. Having a morning tea now, instead of crackin' a beer.

 

Just started to get some proper sleep these last few days.

 

Feeling better 

 

 

 

 

[Thefox81]

17 minutes ago, spacemunky said:

Haven't had anything to drink this month, after a big relapse the last few months.

 

Read Allen Carr's 'The Easy Way to Control Alcohol' and found it really helpful. Along with joining a subreddit for people who are trying to quit.

 

This time of the year is especially tough for me(and probably a lot of people). I might have to take a pass on the family Christmas stuff. I'm definitely not ready for that sh*t...yet.

 

Not having that wake up in the early hours anxiety is nice. Having a morning tea now, instead of crackin' a beer.

 

Just started to get some proper sleep these last few days.

 

Feeling better 

 

 

 

 

I know exactly how you feel. Everything youve said rings so true to myself. I was at one point in a very bad place regarding alcohol. Just over 6 months totally sober now. Keep up the good work mate. It does get easier i promise.

[spacemunky]

5 minutes ago, Thefox81 said:

I know exactly how you feel. Everything youve said rings so true to myself. I was at one point in a very bad place regarding alcohol. Just over 6 months totally sober now. Keep up the good work mate. It does get easier i promise.

Over 6 months is great. Well done!

[spacemunky]

Made it through all of December 

[foxfanazer]

1 hour ago, spacemunky said:

Made it through all of December 

Massive ****ing win mate. Congratulations!

[bovril]

Yeah definitely need to do this 

[bovril]

2 hours ago, spacemunky said:

Made it through all of December 

Maxi kudos 

[Lionator]

I’ve been going through some major life changes the past 6 months and my relationship with alcohol has gotten awful. I’ve had periods where I’ve barely drunk but I’ve also kept track and am probably drinking 50-100 units a week on bad weeks (probs not that bad if I’m keeping track). It’s going to be ok isn’t it? I want to get fully sober but I’m not an absolutist, I think cutting down would be better. 

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, Lionator said:

I’ve been going through some major life changes the past 6 months and my relationship with alcohol has gotten awful. I’ve had periods where I’ve barely drunk but I’ve also kept track and am probably drinking 50-100 units a week on bad weeks (probs not that bad if I’m keeping track). It’s going to be ok isn’t it? I want to get fully sober but I’m not an absolutist, I think cutting down would be better. 

If you are an - aholic of any description, there's no controlling it. I speak from experience. 

[Suzie the Fox]

5 hours ago, spacemunky said:

Made it through all of December 

Thats so awesome as i think December is the hardest month, seems weird to not feel like total shit on new years day Lol.

[spacemunky]

7 hours ago, Lionator said:

I think cutting down would be better. 

That's a tricky one and I know 100% it doesn't work for me.

[spacemunky]

On 01/01/2026 at 01:15, spacemunky said:

Made it through all of December 

And January! 

[Thefox81]

1 hour ago, spacemunky said:

And January! 

Well done. As ive said I know how difficult it can be. Keep up the good work 👍

[ajthefox]

7 hours ago, spacemunky said:

And January! 

Great work mate 👍 

[RobHawk]

On 15/12/2025 at 21:10, spacemunky said:

Haven't had anything to drink this month, after a big relapse the last few months.

 

Read Allen Carr's 'The Easy Way to Control Alcohol' and found it really helpful. Along with joining a subreddit for people who are trying to quit.

 

This time of the year is especially tough for me(and probably a lot of people). I might have to take a pass on the family Christmas stuff. I'm definitely not ready for that sh*t...yet.

 

Not having that wake up in the early hours anxiety is nice. Having a morning tea now, instead of crackin' a beer.

 

Just started to get some proper sleep these last few days.

 

Feeling better 

 

 

 

 

My wife's been having issues, I read this post back end of last year and downloaded Allen cards book on audible. 

 

I found it awesome. I've stopped drinking myself now and my wife is still battling but getting there. 

 

So thanks for the recommendation and secondly would highly recommend for anyone having issues 👍

[Suzie the Fox]

10 hours ago, spacemunky said:

And January! 

Its so difficult i know  Really well done! The longer you can abstain the easier it gets (or has been for me) 5 months on Thursday. 

Dont get me wrong i'd love to pop a bottle of red wine but i'm at the stage now where its not killing me or perma on my mind when i don't open said bottle. 

[Alf Bentley]

23 minutes ago, Suzie the Fox said:

Its so difficult i know  Really well done! The longer you can abstain the easier it gets (or has been for me) 5 months on Thursday. 

Dont get me wrong i'd love to pop a bottle of red wine but i'm at the stage now where its not killing me or perma on my mind when i don't open said bottle. 

 

Sorry if this is misplaced advice, as I don't know you and each personality or addiction issue is different, but.....I'd beware complacency a few months into sobriety.

 

I'm not implying you are complacent, just basing that warning on my own personal experience. For a couple of decades, I tried various means of reducing or stopping my alcohol intake. About 4 times in my last 10 years of drinking, I fell off the wagon after 4-6 months of abstinence. I've since read that this is a common phenomenon.

 

I've been sober for 10.5 years and am confident now that the only way I'll ever drink again is if I take a carefully considered decision to do so - and I'm not likely to do that any time soon. Not drinking is now the norm - the "habit", if you like. I'm now no more likely to suddenly start drinking again than I am to start snorting coke, voting Reform or supporting Forest!

 

When I'd only been sober for 4-6 months, my new "habit" of sobriety had yet to be fully established. On those occasions when I fell off the wagon after 4-6 months, it was the lack of a new norm, plus complacency that did for me. Like you, I was finding it perfectly easy not to drink. I was feeling the physical and mental benefits of sobriety - and was having no urges to drink. Where I went wrong was that I'd have brief daydreams about the fun-packed good old days of drinking, particularly at times when life was boring or frustrating (as life inevitably is, at times) - and wouldn't challenge those thoughts. Once I'd failed to challenge such dreamy thinking, it was a rapid slippery slope and I'd be back to drinking regularly within a couple of weeks, at most.

 

It's a tricky one, because the truth is that I did have a lot of fun boozing, in all sorts of ways....it's just that the positives clearly came to be outweighed by the negatives. When you've just given up, the negatives are at the front of your mind. After a few months off, you may be feeling good or bored, but the bad memories are almost forgotten. Now, if I start remembering good times drinking (infrequent) or wondering if I'll drink again some day, I always make sure to remind myself of the negatives and how they outweighed the positives....like reinforcement to avoid the slippery slope of mental complacency. Finding other sources of satisfaction or pleasure is also important, I find, meaning you're aware of the benefits of sobriety.

 

Good luck to you and everyone else trying to tackle this tricky psychological addiction. 

[Suzie the Fox]

1 hour ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Sorry if this is misplaced advice, as I don't know you and each personality or addiction issue is different, but.....I'd beware complacency a few months into sobriety.

 

I'm not implying you are complacent, just basing that warning on my own personal experience. For a couple of decades, I tried various means of reducing or stopping my alcohol intake. About 4 times in my last 10 years of drinking, I fell off the wagon after 4-6 months of abstinence. I've since read that this is a common phenomenon.

 

I've been sober for 10.5 years and am confident now that the only way I'll ever drink again is if I take a carefully considered decision to do so - and I'm not likely to do that any time soon. Not drinking is now the norm - the "habit", if you like. I'm now no more likely to suddenly start drinking again than I am to start snorting coke, voting Reform or supporting Forest!

 

When I'd only been sober for 4-6 months, my new "habit" of sobriety had yet to be fully established. On those occasions when I fell off the wagon after 4-6 months, it was the lack of a new norm, plus complacency that did for me. Like you, I was finding it perfectly easy not to drink. I was feeling the physical and mental benefits of sobriety - and was having no urges to drink. Where I went wrong was that I'd have brief daydreams about the fun-packed good old days of drinking, particularly at times when life was boring or frustrating (as life inevitably is, at times) - and wouldn't challenge those thoughts. Once I'd failed to challenge such dreamy thinking, it was a rapid slippery slope and I'd be back to drinking regularly within a couple of weeks, at most.

 

It's a tricky one, because the truth is that I did have a lot of fun boozing, in all sorts of ways....it's just that the positives clearly came to be outweighed by the negatives. When you've just given up, the negatives are at the front of your mind. After a few months off, you may be feeling good or bored, but the bad memories are almost forgotten. Now, if I start remembering good times drinking (infrequent) or wondering if I'll drink again some day, I always make sure to remind myself of the negatives and how they outweighed the positives....like reinforcement to avoid the slippery slope of mental complacency. Finding other sources of satisfaction or pleasure is also important, I find, meaning you're aware of the benefits of sobriety.

 

Good luck to you and everyone else trying to tackle this tricky psychological addiction. 

Thanks Alf, very good advice. Maybe i did come over as too complacent. I try not to be as i am an alcaholic, not an everyday drinker but a drinker with no off switch. 

I often wonder if i will ever get to the point of having a normal relationship with alcohol. Going out for a meal and having a glass of wine but sadly i dont think i will. 1 will turn in 2 and boom, incoming all dayer/nighter.

 

Therefore i wake every single day and promise to myself today i will not have a drink. If i can keep that thought process going and say no to that 1st drink, its a good stand for moving forward. 

 

Well done, 10+ years is an insane achievement, i bet you are very proud. I hope i can match that one day. 

 

[spacemunky]

3 hours ago, RobHawk said:

My wife's been having issues, I read this post back end of last year and downloaded Allen cards book on audible. 

 

I found it awesome. I've stopped drinking myself now and my wife is still battling but getting there. 

 

So thanks for the recommendation and secondly would highly recommend for anyone having issues 👍

Glad to hear it helped 

 

2 hours ago, Suzie the Fox said:

Its so difficult i know  Really well done! The longer you can abstain the easier it gets (or has been for me) 5 months on Thursday. 

Dont get me wrong i'd love to pop a bottle of red wine but i'm at the stage now where its not killing me or perma on my mind when i don't open said bottle. 

Great job Suzie! 

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, Alf Bentley said:

 I'm now no more likely to suddenly start drinking again than I am to start snorting coke, voting Reform or supporting Forest!

I'm saving that one! 

 

Congrats on the 10+ years Alf.

 

I hope i can say the same thing one day.

[Alf Bentley]

2 hours ago, Suzie the Fox said:

Thanks Alf, very good advice. Maybe i did come over as too complacent. I try not to be as i am an alcaholic, not an everyday drinker but a drinker with no off switch. 

I often wonder if i will ever get to the point of having a normal relationship with alcohol. Going out for a meal and having a glass of wine but sadly i dont think i will. 1 will turn in 2 and boom, incoming all dayer/nighter.

 

Therefore i wake every single day and promise to myself today i will not have a drink. If i can keep that thought process going and say no to that 1st drink, its a good stand for moving forward. 

 

Well done, 10+ years is an insane achievement, i bet you are very proud. I hope i can match that one day. 

 

 

I didn't think you came over as complacent. Your reference to "5 months" just reminded me of my own history: falling off the wagon about 4 times after around 4-6 months abstinent, due to complacency on my part.

 

I just thought I'd mention it, in case it was useful to you or anyone else in avoiding complacency after a few months booze-free. I found it enormously frustrating each time I relapsed, as I always ended up back at square one, boozing excessively, causing myself problems and having to rebuild the motivation to stop again. It literally took me about a decade to understand how complacency undermined me - having positive daydreams about past or imagined boozing, not challenging them mentally, so heading straight back down the slippery slope into abuse. If I'd understood that earlier, I might now be celebrating 20 years of abstinence, not 10. Maybe I'm just a bit slow on the uptake! 

 

I gather that some people who drink excessively can revert to a healthy relationship with alcohol, but I suspect it's a small minority. Certainly, over the 25 years that I tried to control my drinking, the only thing that ever worked - and worked repeatedly, relapses notwithstanding - was complete abstinence. Attempts at moderation always failed. It's like my brain only has 2 gears: it can function well without alcohol or can enjoy getting drunk (in the moment -- but with major negative consequences), but cannot function at all for "moderate drinking" - "moderate" inevitably becomes "excessive".

 

Each individual has to work out which thought processes help them stay sober, I think, and each individual is different. I see my non-drinking as an ongoing decision. I could choose to drink again any time I want, but I choose not to do so, because I know that I'd inevitably revert to excessive drinking and I know that the benefits of that (and there are some) are massively outweighed by the negatives. I prefer to see it as an ongoing decision, as I know what a contrary bastard I am. If someone - even me - tells me I can't do something, I'm more likely to want to do it!  

 

I don't think about not drinking every day, but if any thought about past boozing or potential future boozing enters my head, I remind myself of the reasons for my ongoing decision and the need for me to avoid complacency. I don't feel proud of my 10 years off. I just feel lucky that I managed to find an approach that seems to work for me and appreciative of life, which I mainly enjoy - certainly a lot more than I enjoyed life while boozing (isolated moments of alcohol-induced exhilaration notwithstanding). I suppose each self-reminder to avoid complacency - including this exchange - also acts as reinforcement of my ongoing decision.

 

All the best to you - and all others here - in finding what works for you in tackling this problem. My life has more fun (despite LCFC!), more relaxation, better relationships, more time to get stuff done and a lot less stress without alcohol. Plus there's the simple fact of being alive - my best mate of 30+ years drank himself to death by 55, despite having everything to live for.

 

Sláinte! (Toasted you with a Guinness 0.0%, there! )

[Izzy]

Feeling very embarrassed reading the start of this thread with all my "life is great without alcohol" posts.

 

It was, for just over 8 years, and I never gave booze a second thought. It wasn't part of my life anymore, I didn't miss it, and I was quite content being Teetotal.

 

And then just over a year ago my Mum died. It hit me hard and I spent the immediate two weeks afterwards staying with my Dad to help him get through it.

 

He's always been a regular drinker and the night after Mum died we sat talking and I asked him for a shot of his malt whiskey which I thoroughly enjoyed. Over the next 2 weeks we went through his various bottles of malt every evening and talked about memories of Mum while planning the funeral.

 

Then I went home and I didn't have any whiskey, so I bought some. And then when that bottle ran out, I bought another one. And then we moved house and I was flat out doing a renovation so started having a few beers every evening, followed by some whiskey. 

 

So here I am a year on and realising I haven't had a dry day since December '24. I had three bottles of Glenmorangie 15 The Lasanta malt whiskey for Christmas and I'm just about to finish the third bottle. And then I'll probably buy some more.

 

No idea why I'm posting this apart from admitting to myself that despite my 8 year hiatus, I'm still an alchoholic and probably always will be.

 

[HighPeakFox]

26 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Feeling very embarrassed reading the start of this thread with all my "life is great without alcohol" posts.

 

It was, for just over 8 years, and I never gave booze a second thought. It wasn't part of my life anymore, I didn't miss it, and I was quite content being Teetotal.

 

And then just over a year ago my Mum died. It hit me hard and I spent the immediate two weeks afterwards staying with my Dad to help him get through it.

 

He's always been a regular drinker and the night after Mum died we sat talking and I asked him for a shot of his malt whiskey which I thoroughly enjoyed. Over the next 2 weeks we went through his various bottles of malt every evening and talked about memories of Mum while planning the funeral.

 

Then I went home and I didn't have any whiskey, so I bought some. And then when that bottle ran out, I bought another one. And then we moved house and I was flat out doing a renovation so started having a few beers every evening, followed by some whiskey. 

 

So here I am a year on and realising I haven't had a dry day since December '24. I had three bottles of Glenmorangie 15 The Lasanta malt whiskey for Christmas and I'm just about to finish the third bottle. And then I'll probably buy some more.

 

No idea why I'm posting this apart from admitting to myself that despite my 8 year hiatus, I'm still an alchoholic and probably always will be.

 

Maybe it will help you stop again - as said earlier, it never leaves us, be it booze or anything else.

[Alf Bentley]

1 hour ago, Izzy said:

Feeling very embarrassed reading the start of this thread with all my "life is great without alcohol" posts.

 

It was, for just over 8 years, and I never gave booze a second thought. It wasn't part of my life anymore, I didn't miss it, and I was quite content being Teetotal.

 

And then just over a year ago my Mum died. It hit me hard and I spent the immediate two weeks afterwards staying with my Dad to help him get through it.

 

He's always been a regular drinker and the night after Mum died we sat talking and I asked him for a shot of his malt whiskey which I thoroughly enjoyed. Over the next 2 weeks we went through his various bottles of malt every evening and talked about memories of Mum while planning the funeral.

 

Then I went home and I didn't have any whiskey, so I bought some. And then when that bottle ran out, I bought another one. And then we moved house and I was flat out doing a renovation so started having a few beers every evening, followed by some whiskey. 

 

So here I am a year on and realising I haven't had a dry day since December '24. I had three bottles of Glenmorangie 15 The Lasanta malt whiskey for Christmas and I'm just about to finish the third bottle. And then I'll probably buy some more.

 

No idea why I'm posting this apart from admitting to myself that despite my 8 year hiatus, I'm still an alchoholic and probably always will be.

 

 

I'm speculating, but maybe you needed alcohol after your mother died so as to access emotions (or cope with them) or to be able to perform the role you wanted to perform for your Dad?

If so, at that important moment maybe alcohol served a beneficial purpose - even if you've not viewed it as beneficial overall in the longer-term?

 

I might be quite wrong, but maybe you posted those thoughts because you're questioning whether you really want to continue along your current path. It might be an early step towards returning to sobriety - or at least considering it or subconsciously building your motivation?

 

All the very best to you, whatever it means and whatever path you take. 

(So long as it doesn't take you to the Joke Thread! )