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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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FoxyPV

FoxyPV

Posted
Posted

Ryan Giggs wife Stacey has walked out on him. She has been given 1/2 everything. She now has 6 more Prem league medals than Steven Gerrard.

  • Like 1
AjcW

AjcW

Posted
Posted

One wonders whether the girl on the back of Shaun Kingston's Jet Ski crashed on purpose whilst being serenaded with Beautiful Girl :ph34r:

StanSP

StanSP

Posted
Posted

One wonders whether the girl on the back of Shaun Kingston's Jet Ski crashed on purpose whilst being serenaded with Beautiful Girl :ph34r:

Surprised the jet-ski didn't give way before they could set off :whistle:

MikeyT

MikeyT

Posted
Posted

2 blondes where walking through a snow storm, one says ... my hands are numb, are yours? The other one replies... i don't know i can't feel them.

  • Like 1
MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted

Just found out the other day my wife is able to get an operation on her cateract done over the internet!!!!

All she needs is a wi-fi connection

longy

longy

Posted
Posted

My mates used to call me "Mr Lover Lover" as I had quite a good record with the ladies. Then one night a girl with Downs syndrome asked me to shag her up the arse... Now they call me "Mr Bum Spastic"...!

  • Like 1
jonthefox

jonthefox

Posted
Posted

My mates used to call me "Mr Lover Lover" as I had quite a good record with the ladies. Then one night a girl with Downs syndrome asked me to shag her up the arse... Now they call me "Mr Bum Spastic"...!

Not very politically correct mr lister, but lol no the less.

rico

rico

Posted
Posted

What do Hitler and me have in common after i've rimmed the mrs?

We both have a shit moustache !

Wycombe Fox

Wycombe Fox

Posted
Posted

A little girl finds her dog dead on its back with his legs in the air.

She asks her dad "Why is it's legs in the air?"

He replies "So Jesus can pick him up and take him to heaven."

The next day the girl says to her dad "Dad, me Mum nearly died earlier, she was on her back with her legs in the air saying "Jesus I'm coming!," if it wasn't for the binman holding her down we'd have lost her"

lcfcadam

lcfcadam

Posted
Posted

My girlfriend is leaving me, because I'm obsessed with the band the monkees. I thought she was joking!

Then I saw her face .... :D

Very good :)

------------------

Whenever I see anyone open their mouth, I just wanna shove my cock in.

Which is probably why I'm not a dentist anymore.

  • Like 2
MikeyT

MikeyT

Posted
Posted

My girlfriend is leaving me, because I'm obsessed with the band the monkees. I thought she was joking!

Then I saw her face .... :D

lol

rico

rico

Posted
Posted

The Mrs has been missing for a whole 24 hours now and the police have told me to expect the worse, so now I have got to traipse down the charity shop and get all her clothes back.

Simo86

Simo86

Posted
Posted (edited)

Wayne Rooney has used Colleen's pubic hair for his hair transplant. Apparently the success rate is much higher if transplanted from one cvnt to another!

Edited by Simo86

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