Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
 Share
Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

Recommended Posts

separator

separator

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Unbelievably, Mr. Singh escaped with nothing more than blurred vision when he hit his head on the floor.

 

As the female paramedic lent over him, he looked up and said: "You're once, twice, three times a lady".

Bet you spent 'All Night Long' come up with that pun Alf

  • Like 2
Countryfox

Countryfox

Posted
Posted
On 8/7/2016 at 21:50, Alf Bentley said:

 

Unbelievably, Mr. Singh escaped with nothing more than blurred vision when he hit his head on the floor.

 

As the female paramedic lent over him, he looked up and said: "You're once, twice, three times a lady".

 

I got held up by a sikh highwayman on the way home from work the other day ...   Dick Turban.

Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

Paddy says to Mick, "I'm getting circumcised tomorrow". Mick says, "I had that done when I was just a few days old". Paddy asks, "Did it hurt?". Mick says, "Well I couldn't walk for about a year".

  • Like 2
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, srbfox said:

I was gonna tell the Mrs a cheesy joke today, but she isn't mature enough. 

 

Best to stick to feminist literature, then. Recite her something by Germaine Gruyère.

 

 

11 hours ago, Countryfox said:

 

I got held up by a sikh highwayman on the way home from work the other day ...   Dick Turban.

 

Are you sure he was a highwayman? He might have just been playing Hide and Sikh.

Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Best to stick to feminist literature, then. Recite her something by Germaine Gruyère.

 

 

 

Are you sure he was a highwayman? He might have just been playing Hide and Sikh.

Alf, puns are not jokes.

 

Isn't there another thread for puns so people aren't mislead into thinking there's something funny in this thread?

 

:ph34r:

Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, Swan Lesta said:

Alf, puns are not jokes.

 

Isn't there another thread for puns so people aren't mislead into thinking there's something funny in this thread?

 

:ph34r:

 

There's something funny in this thread alright. It glides in with the elegance of a swan, charms with the beautiful song of a nightingale and departs leaving the aroma of a common skunk. :ph34r:

 

The threads in the rich tapestry of FT life are many and varied. Ever so humbly do I accept that my cheesy puns equate to no more than a dropped stitch in a distant corner of that tapestry.

Now one such stitch has come adrift to reveal your spot of rising damp behind it. :whistle:

Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted
Just now, Alf Bentley said:

 

There's something funny in this thread alright. It glides in with the elegance of a swan, charms with the beautiful song of a nightingale and departs leaving the aroma of a common skunk. :ph34r:

 

The threads in the rich tapestry of FT life are many and varied. Ever so humbly do I accept that my cheesy puns equate to no more than a dropped stitch in a distant corner of that tapestry.

Now one such stitch has come adrift to reveal your spot of rising damp behind it. :whistle:

Agreed lol

 

I'm a pun nazi, sorry!

Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Swan Lesta said:

Agreed lol

 

I'm a pun nazi, sorry!

 

Perhaps we should move on from puns to collective nouns? It would surely be a punnet of pun nazis?

 

Time for me to vacate the joke thread before I seriously irritate someone, i think! :D

Nick

Nick

Posted
Posted
Just now, Alf Bentley said:

 

Perhaps we should move on from puns to collective nouns? It would surely be a punnet of pun nazis?

 

Time for me to vacate the joke thread before I seriously irritate someone, i think! :D

lol I still love you Alf despite your punspective......

davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, AKCJ said:

What's the difference between a circus and a brothel?

 

One has a cunning array of stunts.

It used to be a policeman's truncheon and a magicians wand.

Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted

Why was the lettuce confused by the EU referendum?

 

 

It didn't know whether it was leaf or romaine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 4
Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, Smudge said:

Pls delete, on reflection my mates joke is crap

 

Crikey if I didn't post crap jokes I'd only have 4 posts.

  • Like 3
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
21 minutes ago, Webbo said:

Crikey if I didn't post crap jokes I'd only have 4 posts.

That many? :blink:

 

Must have been before I joined.. :D

  • Like 2
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Webbo said:

Crikey if I didn't post crap jokes I'd only have 4 posts.

 

I know a bloke who devotes almost all day every day to LCFC and who still only has 4 posts.....

 

The LCFC groundsman.

 

Well, you did mention crap jokes. :whistle:

  • Like 2
Webbo

Webbo

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I know a bloke who devotes almost all day every day to LCFC and who still only has 4 posts.....

 

The LCFC groundsman.

 

Well, you did mention crap jokes. :whistle:

There's are depths even I won't sink to.

  • Popular Post
separator

separator

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.

 

Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.

  • Like 8
Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, separator said:

My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale of 1-10.

 

Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done.

 

That's funny. I had a go with her last night, too, and she couldn't make up her mind....was it a 3, a 6 or a 9?

She kept shouting "Nein! Drei Sechs....Nein!"

  • Like 3
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

That's funny. I had a go with her last night, too, and she couldn't make up her mind....was it a 3, a 6 or a 9?

She kept shouting "Nein! Drei Sechs....Nein!"

You didn't use a lubricant?

  • Like 1
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Er, that was the joke, Buce, yes...."joke" in the Webbo sense, that is.

Yep.

 

I got it about 10 seconds after posting - a Doh! moment, I'm afraid.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...