The joke thread

[bovril]

Just in time for the summer, UKIP are set to launch a new range of tents.

 

They're like normal tents, but without any poles.

 

Do they have a special non-bulge area?

[Buce]

Just in time for the summer, UKIP are set to launch a new range of tents.

They're like normal tents, but without any poles.

And the only colour is white..

[Rincewind]

I was about to go out Friday and it started to piss down with rain. I thought now we voted out the Europeans want their good weather back.

[Merging Cultures]

Can't stand this meme, "colonises half the world, complains of immigration"

1. We still need immigration. The vote was a referendum on the EU not on immigration (as much as people want to make it out as such).

2. The colonies got independence, we are getting ours now.

Someone else has posted about how the EU is an important post world war 2 pillar keeping Europe from dangerous nationalism. I had to point out it is very post war as it was established in 1993!

[Countryfox]

Can't stand this meme, "colonises half the world, complains of immigration"

1. We still need immigration. The vote was a referendum on the EU not on immigration (as much as people want to make it out as such).

2. The colonies got independence, we are getting ours now.

Someone else has posted about how the EU is an important post world war 2 pillar keeping Europe from dangerous nationalism. I had to point out it is very post war as it was established in 1993!

 

Have read this 3 times MC but still can't find the punchline ....    bet its a cracking joke though mate !

[Merging Cultures]

Have read this 3 times MC but still can't find the punchline .... bet its a cracking joke though mate !

Hahaha! Yeah, had me in stitches!

Last time a red a Rince post and not check the thread before posting myself!

[Jimothy]

Have read this 3 times MC but still can't find the punchline .... bet its a cracking joke though mate !

Well I want a refund on my tickets to MC's stand up show if that's the standard.

[ozleicester]

Well I want a refund on my tickets to MC's stand up show if that's the standard.

your out of the EU, you wont be able to go anyway

[Merging Cultures]

your out of the EU, you wont be able to go anyway

So am I! Facecloth, we've got a spare room in Zambia ready for you!

[Webbo]

“A cement mixer has ­collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.”

[Trav Le Bleu]

Can't stand this meme, "colonises half the world, complains of immigration"

1. We still need immigration. The vote was a referendum on the EU not on immigration (as much as people want to make it out as such).

2. The colonies got independence, we are getting ours now.

Someone else has posted about how the EU is an important post world war 2 pillar keeping Europe from dangerous nationalism. I had to point out it is very post war as it was established in 1993!

Hate to reply to this in the joke thread, but whilst you are correct on your first point, many people's votes were influenced because that's what they want and think they're going to get.

Which is kinda funny

[Saxondale]

My grandma's name is Anna Gram. But we just call her Nana Marg.

 

(Stolen off @@FerrisBueller)

Edited 26 June 2016 by BornBlue

[separator]

I'm fed up with my mates, 3 times now they've agreed to go with me to a Whitesnake gig and they've not turned up.

 

Here i go again on my own!

[Trav Le Bleu]

What do you call an Englishman in the quarter finals of the Euros?

A referee.

Edited 27 June 2016 by Trav Le Bleu

[Trav Le Bleu]

Iceland might be cheap, but Joe Hart didn't save anything.

[Trav Le Bleu]

Joe Hart was so distraught after this match he threw himself in front of the team bus.

It's okay though, it passed underneath him.

Been a little while since that one was aired.

[jammie82uk]

England Football team

[tom27111]

England Football team

#topbantz

[separator]

I've just ordered Bonnie Tyler's goalkeeping blunders volume 2,

It's just totally clips of Joe Hart.

Edited 28 June 2016 by separator

[Alf Bentley]

I've just ordered Bonnie Tyler's goalkeeping blunders volume 2,

It's just totally clips of Joe Hart.

 

 

Features "Lost in France (in gloves)", no doubt?

Edited 28 June 2016 by Alf Bentley

[Countryfox]

“A cement mixer has ­collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.”

 

Thats so sh1t Webbo its sorta funny !    

[Alf Bentley]

“A cement mixer has ­collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.”

 

 

I understand that the police have already uncovered some concrete evidence. They are treating this as a mortar of urgency.

[Buce]

I understand that the police have already uncovered some concrete evidence. They are treating this as a mortar of urgency.

I think there's mortar this than meets the eye..

Edited 28 June 2016 by Buce

[Carl the Llama]

This incarceration farce is going to cost the taxpayer a few million pounds on aggregate.

[davieG]

As Rashford comes on the wife says 'what's he gonna do in 4 minutes?'

Wait till the football has finished and I will show you.........