The joke thread

[Beliall]

41 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

"Hi there caller, you're through to Babestation. What's your name, sexy?"

"Michael, my name's Michael."

"Nice name. My stepdad's name is Michael."

"Yeah, I kn...err, rub your tits a bit more for me will ya please."

Reads like a confession

[Izzy]

A bloke went out of his way to spend hours in the pub last night explaining the meaning of the word 'many' to me.

I said "thank you, that means a lot"...

 

Edited 3 September 2016 by Izzy Muzzett

[Beliall]

1 minute ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

A bloke went out of his way to spend hours in the pub last night explaining the meaning of the word 'many' to me.

I thanked him and said "that means a lot"...

 

[Countryfox]

Not really sure if this is a joke, a phunny photo or what ...   but it put a smile on my face when I was having a p1ss at ...   yes, you've guessed it ..    The Fox at Lutterworth ...   

 

 

[Jimothy]

I saw an advert that read: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.”

 

I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

[Aus Fox]

I am having real issues with my dog at the minute, he keeps chasing people on a bike.

its got so bad, I've had to take his bike away.

[Sharpe's Fox]

My aunt's star sign is cancer so it was quite a coincidence when she died.

 

She was bitten to death by crabs.

[Countryfox]

I've been in that Fox again ...

 

[separator]

"Sir, your car was swerving all over the road!"

 

"Sorry officer I've had ten pints & feel pissed"

 

"That's no excuse to let your wife drive"

[Izzy]

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

"Ooh!" Said the expert, "this is a very rare breed indeed. Do you have any idea what they might fetch if they were in perfect condition?"

"Probably sticks" replied Paddy...

[Countryfox]

4 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

"Ooh!" Said the expert, "this is a very rare breed indeed. Do you have any idea what they might fetch if they were in perfect condition?"

"Probably sticks" replied Paddy...

 

Thats the spirit Muzzett ! ...   A good joke and you'll soon forget about your facebollox adventure !!    

[foxy boxing]

Kim Jong un has banned sarcasm in North Korea "this is not a joke" he must really like people laughing at him?

[Buce]

33 minutes ago, foxy boxing said:

Kim Jong un has banned sarcasm in North Korea "this is not a joke" he must really like people laughing at him?

 

Hmm.

 

Not sure you've quite got the idea of the joke thread, Foxy.

[Beliall]

35 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Hmm.

 

Not sure you've quite got the idea of the joke thread, Foxy.

Go on then Buce, A joke on north korean sarcasm, if you please. your challenge for the day

 

 

 

(PS. I didn't get it either)

[Renart]

I asked my friend in North Korea how he was. He said he can't complain.

[Buce]

1 hour ago, Beliall said:

Go on then Buce, A joke on north korean sarcasm, if you please. your challenge for the day

 

 

 

(PS. I didn't get it either)

 

How do you start a sarcastic joke in North Korea?

 

By looking over your shoulder.

[Beliall]

15 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

How do you start a sarcastic joke in North Korea?

 

By looking over your shoulder.

Well, Its given me something to think about

[Trav Le Bleu]

On 07/09/2016 at 18:25, Countryfox said:

I've been in that Fox again ...

 

Erm... if he's Jewish, why is he speaking in a faux-indian accent?

[Countryfox]

1 minute ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Erm... if he's Jewish, why is he speaking in a faux-indian accent?

Good point ! ...   next time I'm in the Fox I'm going to be taking that up with Ken the Landlord ...   the bloke is obviously a fookin idiot !    Well spotted Trav !   

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, Countryfox said:

Good point ! ...   next time I'm in the Fox I'm going to be taking that up with Ken the Landlord ...   the bloke is obviously a fookin idiot !    Well spotted Trav !   

If you would be so kind.

[Captain...]

7 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Erm... if he's Jewish, why is he speaking in a faux-indian accent?

I read it as German, but Indian also works.

[Beliall]

I thought he was russian

[Aus Fox]

4 hours ago, Beliall said:

I thought he was russian

I also thought he could have slowed down a little.

[ozleicester]

5 hours ago, Beliall said:

I thought he was russian

Well he is in a taxi

[Beliall]

1 hour ago, Aus Fox said:

I also thought he could have slowed down a little.

 

1 hour ago, ozleicester said:

Well he is in a taxi