THEBIGJOHNSTEADER; Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 People that frape a friend and put something about them loving cock
StanSP Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 When people make penis jokes about EVERYTHING!! Drives me nuts.
The People's Hero Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 One that wore thin for me very quickly was throughout Rachel's pregnancy I had people saying 'oooh, I hope you're getting lots of sleep in now'. Why? Can I save it up and then use all that extra sleep when I'm not having much? And of course I'm not having much sleep anyway, my wife is x months pregnant, huge, hormonal and is not sleeping well. Do you think I'm sleeping? I swear its just something you are obliged to say to pregnant people and their OHs. Its like when you park up and someone is washing their car nearby. I've considered resisting but ultimately, you know you're going to say it and they know you're going to say it, so its better just to get it out the way rather than have the awkward wait and silence. We all live in hope too that one day that festidious and thorough car washer might have thought ' actually he seemed a nice bloke, and he asked politely, i've got a spare twenty minutes, I've got all the stuff out - sod it, I'll wash his car.'
21st Century Fox Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 For anyone who's ever worked in retail... when an item doesn't have a price on it or the customer just hasn't bothered to look and they 'jokingly' ask "Does that mean it's free". F**k off.
StanSP Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 For anyone who's ever worked in retail... when an item doesn't have a price on it or the customer just hasn't bothered to look and they 'jokingly' ask "Does that mean it's free". F**k off. Too damn right. +1 for that. Get that almost every time I work.
21st Century Fox Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 Too damn right. +1 for that. Get that almost every time I work. I used to work for John Lewis whilst I was at Uni, it sounds 1000x more annoying coming out of a plummy, posh tw*ts face.
Finnegan Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 I used to work for John Lewis whilst I was at Uni, it sounds 1000x more annoying coming out of a plummy, posh tw*ts face. Funny that. 'Cos a fist looks 1000x more satisfying going in to a plummy, posh tw*ts face.
21st Century Fox Posted 27 February 2012 Posted 27 February 2012 Funny that. 'Cos a fist looks 1000x more satisfying going in to a plummy, posh tw*ts face. Its those overly rosey cheeks that make a perfect bullseye.
Stay Positive Posted 1 March 2012 Author Posted 1 March 2012 Can't believe I forgot "Cheer up, it might never happen". My dad, who was a brilliant bloke, used to say that to people sometimes and I would cringe every time, as you just knew the person he said it to was thinking "tosser", whilst I knew he really was anything but.
Stay Positive Posted 8 March 2012 Author Posted 8 March 2012 Incidentally, I must confess I've said "That's a potential banana skin" to people eating bananas on more than one occasion. I guess I'm guilty of being unfunny too...
Knightonian Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 I'm a manager at a pub, I get 'stella fella'. Or to the girls 'Carling darling'.... Makes me want to hit them with my cricket bat....
Daggers Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 I'm a manager at a pub,I get 'stella fella'. Or to the girls 'Carling darling'.... Makes me want to hit them with my cricket bat.... Stop selling those and just provide pints of gin and orange, that'll nack them.
lavrentis Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 Probably been mentioned already but all the stay calm puns on posters mugs etc
Finnegan Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 After a particularly disappointing hair cut "it'll grow on you." **** off!
Captain... Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 Or did you have a fight with a lawnmower, after any haircut good or bad.
Raw Dykes Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 Probably been mentioned already but all the stay calm puns on posters mugs etc Great call. I was thinking about how much I hate that yesterday. I'm so sick of seeing them. "Oh, look how clever I am - I changed the words on a famous poster." P1SS OFF!
Finnegan Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 I used to agree but we have both a keep calm and a panic and freak out poster at work and they're both very appropriate. Made me giggle when we put em up, to be fair, and usually gets a chuckle out of people passing through. They sum up the council perfectly.
Tielemans63 Posted 29 March 2012 Posted 29 March 2012 People who say 'alrighdy then' in the style of Ace Ventura. That's Ace Ventura, a film that was released in British cinemas in 1994.
Parafox Posted 8 April 2012 Posted 8 April 2012 Or did you have a fight with a lawnmower, after any haircut good or bad. This... and "did you have your ears lowered"?
Webbo Posted 8 April 2012 Posted 8 April 2012 Relentless "Phunny pictures" about how stupid Christianity is. Fine if that's what floats your boat but do we really need 20 a week?
Daggers Posted 8 April 2012 Posted 8 April 2012 Relentless "Phunny pictures" about how stupid Christianity is. Fine if that's what floats your boat but do we really need 20 a week? Where do we find these?
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