AoWW Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 I hope Mr AoWW never ventures onto FT to ask for relationship advice - it'd all be my fault for being a mardy bitch according to you lot!
stix Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 I've been far too sensible on this thread for too long. Get her to spread them and fingerbang her till she's as wet as an otter's pocket. Then lap at her fanny like a thirsty dog, give her a good seeing to, slap her on the arse and tell her to get back in the kitchen. Bilo advice. It's free, but it's priceless. 50 shades of Bilo....
Trav Le Bleu Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 I hope Mr AoWW never ventures onto FT to ask for relationship advice - it'd all be my fault for being a mardy bitch according to you lot! Even if he took Bilo's advice?
MooseBreath Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 It's clear that treating her well isn't working, try treating her badly? Bitches be all over that shit when you treat them mean. In all seriousness, forget the candles and rom com - that's not doing anything for her - disregard her for a while and laugh when she's suddenly despwrate for your attention. Woman logic isn't that hard to figure out, and it's easy to use it to your advantage.
Captain... Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 I've been far too sensible on this thread for too long. Get her to spread them and fingerbang her till she's as wet as an otter's pocket. Then lap at her fanny like a thirsty dog, give her a good seeing to, slap her on the arse and tell her to get back in the kitchen. Bilo advice. It's free, but it's priceless. Are we going down that route? Buy her a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey, get her to read it and get well up for a bit of bdsm, suggest a bit of tying up foreplay to add a bit of spice back to the relationship, she will be frothing at the gash at this point. Tie her up and blindfold and re-enact a few scenes in the book (this may require reading the book first, maybe better to just say you are re-enacting it, but once she is tied up you can do what you want) Slap her a bit tickle her a bit, get the nipple clamps and ice cubes out. Then smother her fanny in pedigree chum and let Fido do his stuff while you go to the pub with your mates.
Guest Bilo Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Hug her at the top of the stairs and say, 'Tonight darling, I want us to recreate a movie scene.' At this point she'll probably be intrigued and ask which movie scene. 'Mmmm, it's a surprise baby. You'll know exactly what is when I start, but it involves lots of muscular men wearing very little.' She'll be excited, aroused even. You tell her to close her eyes, she complies expecting something really special. Then you go for it. Your big moment. THIS! IS! SPARTA!
Manwell Pablo Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 I'd slip her a footlong. By the sound of it it's going to take more than a sub way to sort this. EDIT: Darn, jokes been done.
Miquel The Work Geordie Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 I want Leicesterpool's opinion In all seriousness though - anal.
Captain... Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Have you tried crying? Just cry uncontrollable on her lap curled up in the foetal position. I mean really cry, proper snot bubbles, shuddering, bawling crying for like 2 hours. It probably won't make her love you any more, but she might think you'll kill yourself if she doesn't start being nice to you and appreciate you for the great guy you are.
Guest Bilo Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Leicesterpool would let her shit in his cornflakes if she dressed up as Ennis, his advice may not be the best.
m00nie Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 send wymeswoldfox a pm, hes the lad to ask when it comes to relationships..
Parafox Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 It's tough and sad and upsetting when a relationship breaks down. I don't know how old you are but it's better to lance the boil (so to speak) early and quickly. If both sets of parents have anything about them, they will support you both through it, if that's what happens. I bet there's a lot on here who have had to make difficult relationship decisions and have gone through divorce, seperation and loss. Nothing anyone syas will really make it any easier. You have to decide and from the tone of your posts I would guess you know where it's headed. Good Luck
Smudge Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 She's probably confiding in someone, possibly her mother or a friend. I'd suggest having a word with that person. If they are guarded, I'd be concerned that she is seeing someone else. If they open up, try to just listen without being defensive or angry.
RonnieTodger Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Wouldn't ask on here mate. Most answers will be from dickheads or virgins. Or both.
Parafox Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Wouldn't ask on here mate. Most answers will be from dickheads or virgins. Or both. Oi you.... I'm a mature chap with experience in the school of life.
Mee Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Maybe her Rampant Rabbit has run out of batteries? If so, download a vibrating phone app, put it in her, and put her up the arse over the coffee table whilst watching Coro'.
AoWW Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Time of month? Sounds like one hell of a long month!
Lamby Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Sounds like one hell of a long month! Medical condition makes it go that way? Idk, I aint a doctor..or am I?
AoWW Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Medical condition makes it go that way? Idk, I aint a doctor..or am I? I very much doubt it.
Parafox Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Time of month? More like time of the relationship. Sounds to me like she's baling out but hasn't the balls (no pun intended) to actually deal with the situation, maybe she feels trapped, maybe she "doesn't want to hurt" him. Sadly sounds like a 'Dear John' moment is coming
Zingari Posted 31 August 2012 Posted 31 August 2012 Try to find out if there is something missing in her life. Does she need a new ironing board or a deep fat fryer or something ?
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