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Stig the Lawnmower

Nigel's Hair

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Little known fact. Nigel was so taken by the St Tiggywinkles Hedgehog campaign of the 80's that ever since he's carried an injured hog on his head ever since. He dares not have milk in his tea as a result and also has a morbid fear of crossing the road. In his office is the box set of The Animals Of Farthing Wood and a signed picture of Pamela Keevilkral.

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Nigel's hair would scare me into suicide. It's so imposing, so strong, in my opinion the sheer personality of his hair won us the penalty yesterday.

I think Holloway's lack of hair also had an impact on the referee's decision - it has no charisma whatsoever, Nigel's trim is clearly more impressive.

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