Funniest insult you've heard.

[jonthefox]

I got called a 'cock juggling thunder cvnt' today. 

 

Can anyone beat that, or have you heard better?. 

[Guest kristianity77]

Heard one bloke in a bar insult one of his mates which made everyone laugh then the same lad said "whats up, you got no come back for that one?".   Then without even thinking the insulted lad replied  "If you want my come back, you best go wipe it off your mams chin"

 

Brilliant

[21st Century Fox]

Not so much a name calling insult but one of the funniest that sticks in my mind was from here by Bettsj2
 

Alan Young has more shit coming out of his mouth than Biff Tannen.

 

 

I don't know why that's stayed with me for over 2 years but it cracks me up whenever I think about it.

[separator]

"Your mum's so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought Eastenders was ending"

[Zingari]

Not so much an insult , more a dark understated mafia Godfather type threat from Leicesterpool

 

 

 

 "I'm not going to get violent or threaten him, just maybe that slight anger in my voice"

[morris1234]

Heard an argument on a bus to school years ago.

These chavvy lads giving some sh*t to this bloke throwing this Nutella jar around the bus!

He turned to the lads and shouted 'if you don't pack it in ill give you lot a pasting, just not the sort of pasting your used to when you and your mates start licking it off eachother'

something along those lines.

Brilliant!

[Webbo]

I remember butting into one of my dad's conversations, he said "when I'm talking to you I'll fart".

[stevelcfc]

Called a 'Grump-****er' by my form tutor last year, thats the best I can offer.

[Jimothy]

Heard my mate call someone a "cock gobbling spunk trumpet" once. Best I can offer.

[FoxesAreBlue]

I remember butting into one of my dad's conversations, he said "when I'm talking to you I'll fart".

That's brilliant, I'm 100% nicking that to use on some of my staff.

[Jaspa]

 

Funny this has come up for me, in the last few weeks of the summer holidays some of the local kids have dished out a couple of classics at eachother. Theyre around 6-11 years old.

 

 

'Go back home to your mums curry, you hairy slut.', was the best one

[NewburyFox]

Someone on here described a woman in the hottest celebs thread as looking like "a bulldog licking cat piss off a stinging nettle."

Just thought it was brilliant. Makes me smile every time I imagine it.

[General Smuts]

YOU'RE AN INANIMATE ****ING OBJECT

[RonnieTodger]

Was playing cricket a year ago and a round mate of mine was bowling and fell over. Another mate called him a "Fat Monstrosity". 

[pSinatra]

YOU'RE AN INANIMATE ****ING OBJECT

 

[Guest MattP]

Boner biting bastard

[sphericalfox]

Had a mate who called his mother in the heat of argument 'an evil sow'. 

[pSinatra]

Was playing on the climbing frames on Braunstone Park with my uncle when I was about 7 years old.  He grabbed my ankle &  I told him to "get off me you willy puller"

[Fifties Blue]

"You're as welcome as a fart in a space suit" - Billy Conolly

[LcFc_Smiv]

That's brilliant, I'm 100% nicking that to use on some of my staff.

 

My boss turned around to me the other night and said "There's no 'I' in team but there's a 'you' in c*nt", it tickled me.

[EnderbyFox]

"You know what the difference is between your jokes and your penis? No-one laughs at your jokes"

 

"I'd call you a cvnt, but you lack both the warmth and the depth"

 

"Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is."

[SystonFox]

Always enjoy calling people "sausage jockeys"

Who came up with it? Bo selecta? Max and paddy?

[Dan]

"Your mum's so fat, when she fell down the stairs I thought Eastenders was ending"

 

lol

[Hawkers]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSEYXWmEse8

 

some brilliant ones here

[THEBIGJOHNSTEADER;]

"Shampoo by dick hair with your saliva you cvnt"

My grandad to my nan, circa 2002