Funniest insult you've heard.

[Ozwin]

This just feels appropriate

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYmV70_U3oA

[Lamby]

"You're a chicken head"

 

It's been well over 2 years since I heard that but I still have a chuckle every time I think of it

[Ozwin]

I'm sure you've heard worse from your career adviser Lamby mate.

[Tedders]

by far the best is watching a mates (EX) girlfriend throw a hissy fit at him for him to reply with ...

 

woooooah! (in a calm voice) who lit the fuse in your tampon...

[Brooksy]

Someone on here described a woman in the hottest celebs thread as looking like "a bulldog licking cat piss off a stinging nettle."

Just thought it was brilliant. Makes me smile every time I imagine it.

 

[Orkneyfox]

Had a mate who called his mother in the heat of argument 'an evil sow'. 

I once called my mother a "hippopotamus" ( it was the worst thing I could think of at that age i.e. about 7). My dad gave me a good whacking.

[Tielemans63]

We had a BBQ round our's on Sunday and one of my mates was so pissed he referred to me as a 'cvnt-faced fvck bag'. Mind you I had shaken his can of beer for a minute straight while he went for a piss.

Actually a pretty funny story (I might as well share it) - after he'd been drenched in beer and called me a 'cvnt-faced fvck bag' I felt pretty bad so I lent him an old pair of my shorts and a t-shirt. Anyways, after about 10 mins he calls me over and when I do he just stares at me (he's had about 10 cans of Carling and the boy only has one kidney). After about 30 seconds he starts laughing, just as I'm wondering why he's laughing I notice that there's a large, dark patch forming in the crotch area of his/my shorts. He looks at me, grins and nods slowly as if to say 'who's laughing now?".

Once I'd stopped laughing I pointed out that a) they're shorts I literally never wear and that b) he now has to sit in his own piss as I'm not getting him anymore clean clothes. I've never seen anyone's face go from smug to crestfallen so quickly. To top it off, his missus walks out of the house with the rest of the wives - sees the state he's in and goes fvcking mental. She orders him to take all of his kit off, borrows one of our towels and marches his half-naked ass out of there.

Never laughed so hard in my entire life. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. It was like a comedy sketch the you just wouldn't believe.

[Smudge]

1. You're talking in scribble
2. What this place needs is good coat of flame
3. You're the only bloke I know who can peel an orange in his pocket - ususally when it's my round
4. At the traffic lights "They're green Smudge or do you prefer a different colour?"

Not so much insults but jibes I've experienced fom my mate JH, in Wigston

[Tielemans63]

[*]What this place needs is good coat of flame

Like that one.

[Rocket-Ron]

We used to call one of our coworkers "The Thrush".

He was such an annoying cvnt.

[Smudge]

"You're a chicken head"

 

It's been well over 2 years since I heard that but I still have a chuckle every time I think of it

You don't get out much do you Lamby?

[foxfanazer]

One of my mates always says "she's got more chins than a Chinese phone directory" when he sees a fat bird.

Was mildly funny the first time he said it, just annoying now

[OriginalRobboFOX]

Mate said to a random girl "your tits are bang average"

[Nift]

Someone called out to Stevenage fans, "Enjoy your corn beef and micro chips tonight". 

[Lamby]

You don't get out much do you Lamby?

 

I don't actually, no

[separator]

Somebody I work with describing his ex-girlfriend (who cheated on him), "she's a tart who's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard"

 

Pretty sure he nicked that line from Peter Kay, still funny though  

[HEGGSY]

http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/53354/a-leicester-fan-s-valentines-day-plea

Not an insult, but this makes me laugh every single time, and is like the icing on the cake, in regards to Finners hate or disilike, for Lamby

lol

[Bert]

Probably not the funniest but the quickest witted comeback I've heard was on a football pitch, after a dirty tackle one of the opposing players said "do that again I'll knock you out" my team mate instantly replied "you couldn't knock a wank out"

One of those "you had to be there" I think, but everyone was In stitches.

[NewburyFox]

http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/53354/a-leicester-fan-s-valentines-day-plea

Not an insult, but this makes me laugh every single time, and is like the icing on the cake, in regards to Finners hate or disilike, for Lamby

lol

lol

[Parafox]

 

Funny this has come up for me, in the last few weeks of the summer holidays some of the local kids have dished out a couple of classics at eachother. Theyre around 6-11 years old.

 

 

'Go back home to your mums curry, you hairy slut.', was the best one

 

That sounds like it was aimed at  a non-white person??

[FoxesAreBlue]

When I worked in telesales we were told not to "pitch the bitch" as 8/10 times the woman would be a secretary and not a decision maker.

My direct manager took it one further and if a particular "gate keeper" (secretary) was proving difficult to get past inform her that she was a useless "spunktrench" and hang up

[Jaspa]

That sounds like it was aimed at  a non-white person??

 

Whos to say the kid who said it wasn't white themselves?

 

It was just pure immature silliness really (and abit of bullying[A fat one is the big bully of them all ]) 

[Stadt]

"It's appropriate to call you a mincing sausage tickler because your name means one"

"The reason you never played upfront was because your jaw always kept you offside"

And various others from Don't Flop

[I am Rod Hull]

A lad at work once called his Scottish mate a "porridge wog" 

[Free Falling Foxes]

When Pleat was our manager and there was 'Kerb-crawling' rumours about him, our goalie - Andrews I think - was having a nightmare with crosses at one particular game.

 

A wag in the crowd shouted; 'Get Pleat to take you down Highfields, you might catch something there'!