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Rincewind

The Safehouse Christmas Rap

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Posted

A participating little ditty. Copy and paste previous lines in similar format when adding contributions making it longer.

 

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

 

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

 

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

 

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

He'd better hope that I miss

Posted

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

 

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

 

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

 

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

He'd better hope that I miss

 

ORANGECITY23

This is not the place for your LCFC grieving,

if you say 'Cattermole' or 'Pulis', you'd best be leaving.

Posted

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

 

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

 

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

 

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

He'd better hope that I miss

 

ORANGECITY23

This is not the place for your LCFC grieving,

if you say 'Catermole' or 'Pulis', you'd best be leaving.

 

General Smuts

With boy band good looks and an addiction to rusk

I'm the Clown Prince of Tinder, the General of Smut

If you think you'll have a rap thread without my appearance

Then your mind's as messed up as Babylad's incoherence

Posted

Lock the doors, batten down the hatches

Swiping right for tinder matches

Rincey drinking ales he does no harm

Tripping over tables breaking his arm

King fox at the curtains in his new abode.

Praying for some gay blokes petting across the road

Una in the kitchen, just follow your nose

The cheating fooking b'stard it all from Waitrose

How low can you go

How low can you go

Well I slept with my sister!

Posted

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

 

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

 

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

 

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

 

He'd better hope that I miss

 

Rincewind
I'm glad I've got an home this Christmas 
How it's paid for that's my business 

 

ORANGECITY23

This is not the place for your LCFC grieving,

 

if you say 'Cattermole' or 'Pulis', you'd best be leaving.

 

General Smuts

With boy band good looks and an addiction to rusk

I'm the Clown Prince of Tinder, the General of Smut

If you think you'll have a rap thread without my appearance

Then your mind's as messed up as Babylad's incoherence

 

Cambridgefox

Lock the doors, batten down the hatches
Swiping right for tinder matches

Rincey drinking ales he does no harm
Tripping over tables breaking his arm

King fox at the curtains in his new abode.
Praying for some gay blokes petting across the road

Una in the kitchen, just follow your nose
The cheating fooking b'stard it all from Waitrose

How low can you go
How low can you go
Well I slept with my sister! 

 

Carl the Llama

 

Why you comin' home at five in the mone' 
Can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

Posted

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

 

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

 

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

 

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

 

He'd better hope that I miss

 

Rincewind
I'm glad I've got an home this Christmas 
How it's paid for that's my business 

 

ORANGECITY23

This is not the place for your LCFC grieving,

 

if you say 'Cattermole' or 'Pulis', you'd best be leaving.

 

General Smuts

With boy band good looks and an addiction to rusk

I'm the Clown Prince of Tinder, the General of Smut

If you think you'll have a rap thread without my appearance

Then your mind's as messed up as Babylad's incoherence

 

Cambridgefox

Lock the doors, batten down the hatches
Swiping right for tinder matches

Rincey drinking ales he does no harm
Tripping over tables breaking his arm

King fox at the curtains in his new abode.
Praying for some gay blokes petting across the road

Una in the kitchen, just follow your nose
The cheating fooking b'stard it all from Waitrose

How low can you go
How low can you go
Well I slept with my sister! 

 

Carl the Llama

 

Why you comin' home at five in the mone' 
Can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

 
Collymore
 
Yo all lets see those hands
I'm joined with my main man Neil Danns
It's nice and warm now hear my chord
I promise there'll be no mention of Mills or Beckford. 
Posted

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

 

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

 

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

 

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

 

He'd better hope that I miss

 

Rincewind
I'm glad I've got an home this Christmas 
How it's paid for that's my business 

 

ORANGECITY23

This is not the place for your LCFC grieving,

 

if you say 'Cattermole' or 'Pulis', you'd best be leaving.

 

General Smuts

With boy band good looks and an addiction to rusk

I'm the Clown Prince of Tinder, the General of Smut

If you think you'll have a rap thread without my appearance

Then your mind's as messed up as Babylad's incoherence

 

Cambridgefox

Lock the doors, batten down the hatches
Swiping right for tinder matches

Rincey drinking ales he does no harm
Tripping over tables breaking his arm

King fox at the curtains in his new abode.
Praying for some gay blokes petting across the road

Una in the kitchen, just follow your nose
The cheating fooking b'stard it all from Waitrose

How low can you go
How low can you go
Well I slept with my sister! 

 

Carl the Llama

 

Why you comin' home at five in the mone' 
Can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

 
Collymore
 
Yo all lets see those hands
I'm joined with my main man Neil Danns
It's nice and warm now hear my chord
I promise there'll be no mention of Mills or Beckford. 
 
MooseBreath 

Biddly Biddly Biddly Biddly bong way-oo
Shove your Christmas songs up your arse you ho 
 
The Blur

 

I am The Blur,

I do not get involved in this forum' slurs

apart from dissing Leicester City's dreadful performances this season

even though it is a treason beyond all reason! 

 

I am the quizmaster

Do you want a taster

Of my quiz?

Oh boy, it is certainly not a piece of pizz! 

Posted

Alf Bentley stone cold sober now it's six months off the booze.

If the Tories win next May then it's five more years like Scrooge.

Leicsmac in Korea having so much bloody fun.

Or maybe he's gone so left wing he works for Kim Jong Un.

Rincewind feeling guilty, somehow got a Christmas bonus.

Now he's on a festive bender instead of helping out the homeless.

Moosebreath is working all hours, at his party some commotion.

Directors baby daughter gone and so is his promotion.

MattP now is out of here as too much of this is camp.

Plus tomorrow I'll be relieving myself upon a dirty tramp.

Posted

ALL

The house is stocked with Xmas beer

The inmates enjoying the atmos-phere

Away from the footie forum crap

Comes the sound of the Safehouse rap

PURPLERONNIE

I may be a leftie I may be square

But at least I have all my hair.

WEBBO

The imposter LAMBY has left his home

He's crouched in the corner all alone.

MATTP

I'll have a word I need a piss

He'd better hope that I miss

Rincewind

I'm glad I've got an home this Christmas

How it's paid for that's my business

ORANGECITY23

This is not the place for your LCFC grieving,

if you say 'Cattermole' or 'Pulis', you'd best be leaving.

General Smuts

With boy band good looks and an addiction to rusk

I'm the Clown Prince of Tinder, the General of Smut

If you think you'll have a rap thread without my appearance

Then your mind's as messed up as Babylad's incoherence

Cambridgefox

Lock the doors, batten down the hatches

Swiping right for tinder matches

Rincey drinking ales he does no harm

Tripping over tables breaking his arm

King fox at the curtains in his new abode.

Praying for some gay blokes petting across the road

Una in the kitchen, just follow your nose

The cheating fooking b'stard it all from Waitrose

How low can you go

How low can you go

Well I slept with my sister!

Carl the Llama

Why you comin' home at five in the mone'

Can I smell yo dick?

Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool

So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

Collymore

Yo all lets see those hands

I'm joined with my main man Neil Danns

It's nice and warm now hear my chord

I promise there'll be no mention of Mills or Beckford.

MooseBreath

Biddly Biddly Biddly Biddly bong way-oo

Shove your Christmas songs up your arse you ho

The Blur

I am The Blur,

I do not get involved in this forum' slurs

apart from dissing Leicester City's dreadful performances this season

even though it is a treason beyond all reason!

I am the quizmaster

Do you want a taster

Of my quiz?

Oh boy, it is certainly not a piece of pizz!

Vacamion

Merry Christmas fae Glesga, land of the Jocks

I hope Santa fills up all your chriggy socks

It's wet here and cold and there's often bad news

But at least, unlike Empty, we don't blame the Jews.

:)

Posted

Yo Yo.

 

My name be Bovril, like Ronnie I'm punk,

But unlike Scouse, I never post drunk.

 

My rhymes be deadly, like Vardy in the box,

My lyrics are serious like a post from Hackney Fox.

 

We got TPH, he's known for his graft,

Col sliding up and down Cattermole's shaft.

 

Gen chat is all truth, no word of a lie,

MattP said it's true he knows a guy who knows a guy.

 

So Merry Christmas homies, all of you,

Just don't put your feet up near Fox92.

Posted

I'm the MC, you know me,

In Africa, they call me BB.

I'm living it large, I have house staff,

They clean and cook, in my big gaff.

I care for the poor, while I wear my bling,

Listen up FT b!tches, hear me sing...

We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas,

We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

Posted

Christmas is over goodbye  festive cheer

Consumed mountain of food, gallons of beer.

 

The house is emptying for the match

Upon your  return, the doors on the latch.

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